Is every good guy hard to be with and get?

Question

I realize that any time I like a guy with an advanced degree I’m competing with girls with advanced degrees who like him

Ans any time I like a guy that is attractive there is another girl chasing him

Its not like it was when I was younger and there was no competition cause we were all single and busy

garykingg · Accepted Answer

Most guys who are working hard don't really have time for women, so even if you think that he is being chased, chances are that he isn't minding one bit about the woman that is chasing him. So in a way good for you?

Self develop yourself, and be a high value woman, he will take notice and probably even ask you out if that's meant to happen.

Embrace your feminine energy, that's how women standout from the bunch, cause many women these days are quite masculine and that's a serious turnoff.

FilmGuy93 · Accepted Answer

Anything worth having in life is going to be a struggle to obtain. On the upside, if you make yourself physically appealing and an absolute delight to be around; you'll be tough competition for other women.

It's easy to forget how much men care about peace of mind in their partners. We absolutely love it.

ZackBan · Answer

Few people realize that this is subliminally a real thing.

On the surface, men don't care about your degree, no man factors that into liking someone.
But then people (men and women) with advanced degrees tend to work in more professional fields and it makes them far more virtuous (of course there are exceptions).

So yeah technically if you have nothing intersting to offer a guy he will go for someone he resonates with. But i wouldn't say it's hard to get a good guy because of that

What is hard in life is getting anything at all when you're stuck in your ways and expect the world to mold around you, problem is many peine with a lower intellect tend to be that way, they compensate the lack or mental skills is stubbornness.

The way to get the guy you want is to accept that you need to become the woman he wants, that doesn't mean change your core foundations and beliefs, but it does mean having an open mind to the things he might deem attractive and integrating as many of them as you feel comfortable doing.

Another tip would be to block out the noise of social rules because they are spoken the loudest by those who don't understand them.
Yes. Looks do matter.
Yes. Style does matter.
Yes. Sense of humor does matter.
Yes. Self sufficiency does matter.

These are things you have to work on, real life tangible things and when you have them in abundance you will become the number 1 option for any guy regardless of his degree.

maximumpower · Answer

it's b/c you're COMPETING.
as base as it may sound, men and women are opportunists at the roots. those attributes that make men and women "attractive" to the opposite sex are often shared by "competitors."
relatively few women have "chased" me b/c of my degree (ms computer science w/work toward second masters and dissertation). what they HAVE chased me for is my income security (near-guaranteed long term employment), prestigious position, physical fitness and promise of travel to exciting locales, etc.
think of it as a pyramid for each gender. folks at the bottom are the also-rans. lots of them and they're ho-hum, run-of-the mill - a dime a dozen. the "attributes" not shared by the rest of the pack is what makes them more attractive and moves them up - to a smaller population. degrees, jobs, benefits, incomes, exciting locales,... the more exotic, the more attractive. ever wonder how the old, eccentric billionaire always seems to have a super-hot voluptuous blonde on his arm? it's b/c they're both pretty high up on their respective pyramids.
my nephew played minor league baseball and is now a single military doctor in his late 20s. it seems as though he has to step over women just to get to the door. they're competing...
sorry if this sounds like a sermon.

PJH359 · Answer

Don’t concern yourself with “competing” with anyone. I’m sure I’m speaking for the majority of guys when I say that no one needs to see your resume or pedigree when something strikes them about you. Don’t get me wrong, there must be some commonality between the two of you…I doubt a Harvard grad would have much to discuss with an 8th grade dropout, but men are most attracted to a beautiful smile and the way your eyes meet initially. Then conversation takes over…. just be yourself and act as if you’re the only girl in the room.

WhereIsMyMind · Answer

Define 'good guy'. Just because he has an advanced degree, this does not make him a good guy. Just an educated guy.

Maybe the dating pool does get smaller as you get older, I guess people are being picked off the market all the time.

But to be real, if you want to obtain a 'good guy', you can't be too fussy about looks. I'm not saying that all unattractive men are nice people, and I'm not saying that all attractive men are assholes. Beauty is subjective of course.

But if you want someone good, you can't be too judgmental about certain unsavoury qualities (looks, education, bank balance, etc). I'm not saying throw all your standards out the window, that would be stupid. Just don't disregard someone solely on the fact that they don't have a certain quality you were hoping for.

Sometimes the best ones are the short, average Joe's with regular jobs.

1GoldTwins · Answer

I thought about this the other day. I think some people are absolute gems but we don't know because we don't talk to them. They could be easy to talk to, you could get along really well and it would be easy to get together, that chance exists. Always has. But we simply won't know because we don't happen to talk together.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

I guess that is one way of looking at it, but what if the rules of the game hasn't changed necessarily? but the way in which you play it has... Let me elaborate.

When you were younger the competition would of still been the same, because the same guys who you fancied then were single, but then so were the girls you were in competition with. If a guy is off the market, then so is the girl he married.
So then what if it matters more to you now than it did then so there is more pressure. Pressure can cause people to mess up the easiest of tasks they would normally have no trouble with.. so what ya think?

If my theory is

MisterPopBoy · Answer

Dear Person,
It might seem rude, but most guys looking for a girl to date is also quite hard.

In some cases, few girl would settle for an average or below guy (looks, smarts, charisma, abilities, and/or you name it). Girls tend to look for a person at their own standard (or higher).

In the case of finding someone with the same standard/given levels (girl to guy). I find that the competition is less than 50-50 (I say 50-50, but the result lies more on luck than anything).

Compare to a guy finding a girl, an average guy finds it even harder to get a girl (at the same standard). That is why guys tend to lower their requirements every time they get rejected.

Hence, a chain develops. Girls aim for the same or higher. Meanwhile, guys must/have to be at the same or higher to date someone lower. In regards to your situation, find someone that is plain. I hope you find the right one. Good luck.

Humbly, Humble Stranger.

Anonymous · Answer

@jennifer_bloom Guys don’t care what degrees a woman has. Hell, most of us really don’t even care what you do for work.

Also, most guys are completely clueless and oblivious when it comes to female attention. You think others girls are chasing some guy but he may very well be ignorant of this. This means there isn’t as much competition as you believe for his attention.

mobiusforniner · Answer

A genuinely well mannered, educated guy who has his shit together will be taken long before he reaches his 30s. Anything after that are usually single, self entitled mommy boys or divorced leftovers with baggage... so yes, in your 30s a womans dating pool is like a dried up, cracked, desert lake bed...

PositiveNote · Answer

Guys are always going to be hard to get along with because we have different brains and physiology. However, when finding as many ways of enjoying each other as possible is the way we get along.

Both parties have to give a little, but both also have to be encouraging! No Debby Downers vs Sad Sack Sonny will make make it through life together! Each has to be willing to understand, willing to give, and possess patience like it's the oxygen we breathe!!!

big_ben_007 · Answer

Good guys and good girls are in the same boat. They stay single and easy to get along with... For so long. Eventually life becomes stressful, they lose a loved one... I used to have a really good sense of humor and friendly side of me 4 years ago. Now I'm tired and stressed often. So yes, good guys are hard to find, but if you can be genuine and sweet and caring and patient, a good guy is easy to keep.

dynamicyandere · Answer

The best guys and the best girls are both usually already taken. When they aren’t, there may be just a small window of time that they’re available. If you’re looking for a Prince Charming, Prince Charming is looking for his princess. It’s hard to get a 10 if you aren’t a 10 yourself—and this goes both ways for guys and girls.

ImJustSomeGuyLol · Answer

I'm not sure if you've heard of the 80/20 rule.
80% of women go for 20% of men, and it really sounds like you're right in it.

The men you want have a lot of options, so either you need to do something that sets you apart from the competition, or you need to re-evaluate what is truly important.

Friendlybro79 · Answer

You know that there isn't anyone who can speak for all men. That said if a person is good, and they know what they want, it might be they are more selective. That doesn't mean you're not worth it. It just means some people in your example of men might be looking for a relationship with someone with similar aspirations or mindsets. That doesn't mean that every man in the description above cares about that.

noless10in · Answer

Advanced degree or no advanced degree no matter how great the guy is or the girl is if they're only interested in someone that has an equal level of education or most maintain or obtain a certain level of education it's pretty damn shallow in my opinion. If you put restraints on your feelings love and that sort of thing I guarantee you that advanced degree relationship will soon falter and they will be too advanced divorcees.

Anonymous · Answer

I think that it depends. If you see him as a human being himself and that there is more to dating then this crap. Yea some men may only want that whatever that is his standards.

But plently of me. Also a degree does not automatically make someone better. If you're trying to date based off of social status... But then find out that... Hey the kind of men you will get are doing the same thing maybe a problem there

StickStickity13 · Answer

What constitutes a universally attractive man is quite rare in the population. Perhaps 1 in 50 men. When something is rare, and highly desired, it becomes expensive. Unless you have what he's looking for, then the odds of you getting him is really low.

Anonymous · Answer

Women don't case lol.

But the same with women. People tend to want their equals. It also could be circumstantial. Meaning they are in the same class, etc, therefore talk. Like just because there's "others" doesn't mean you don't have a chance. Especially if you approached him. It could be your feelings/insecurities more than reality in some cases. It's interesting a "good guy" needs to have an advanced degree.

Adronicus · Answer

Why does an advanced degree matter to a Christian? Jesus taught us to serve others & not ourselves...

theocray19 · Answer

Yes, the better the person the harder to obtain due to a few factors. 1. Competition women want successful men (up to you how you define sucees ) 2. Maturity the more mature guy the less they are to entertain "options" 3. Supply and demand

LilyoftheLake · Answer

It seems like all the good guys are taken. And then the, well, lower quality of mate ones fill up our inboxes with dick pics and whine about being nice guys.  I feel ya, sister.

Vide_Noir · Answer

Yeah it's difficult because good guys have every girl after them, and because they have their own standards after all. You might not meet them and sometimes there's nothing you can do about it

Fa1con · Answer

The quality people of both sexes tend to have more people trying to woo them, that's just how it always goes. Be the best you can be for yourself and then simply be forward in asking others if they want to get to know you or spend time with you.

lucas262 · Answer

I think they are the easiest to get and the most undervalued.

JessicaEarl · Answer

Had to read that message like three times to get what you were asking haha. “Is every good guy hard…?” Only when he’s turned on

Avicenna · Answer

it’s hard to get someone good you’re compatible with. Market yourself correctly and you will.

Subarugirl · Answer

No not at all really... though I guess that the majority of the good ones are already settled down by the time they are in their 40s

aazzvv · Answer

A good guy always has a girl who is very special for him.

Texaskid1 · Answer

Perhaps you rejected them all and spent your time riding the bad boys.

PatriceONeal · Answer

How'd you realize something so ridiculous? Men don't care at all about your career. Not one bit. This is cope.

RuthlessAggression · Answer

Of course not Women just typically chase the bad ones. No idea why

dolemite89 · Answer

guys don’t care about girls degrees 😂 when will girls realize we don’t base your value on the same way you base ours

WhitneySnow · Answer

Good luck. I hope you find a good guy.

athlete_7 · Answer

Nope. I feel good guys are usually dumped.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Mostly, yes.

PlayfulSpirit · Answer

Nice guys finish last.

baserunner611 · Answer

I understand so true

SensualMan · Answer

nope

Is every good guy hard to be with and get?

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