Finding it hard to meet a nice guy that’s actually into me?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been single for over a year now and I honestly have no luck when it comes to men.
Everyone just wants to use me and cheat on me it seems.
And I’m finding it very over whelming at the moment and down.

I just want to meet a nice guy and take things slow but I want him to put in effort with me and make me feel like I am special and not just one of the many girls there talking to.
I don’t know what I’m doing wrong in life.

It seems my ex partner is having his best life with all the women and I just can’t even meet one good guy and I’m really down as my ex told me no one would ever want me or be with me and now I’m left feeling is he right?

[D-Pad_Chad]

Not once did you talk about what you'd offer in the relationship, just what's happened and what your expectations are. That tells me you're not interested in being a good partner.

If you're serious about finding someone start by saying what you bring to the relationship rather than just what you want.

I know it sounds harsh but if you want to find a guy you gotta give and not just take.

I'll also give you most men's auto nope's
1. Body count above 5(varies, but 5 is very bad for women)
2. Single mothers (men want to raise THEIR family not another's, there are exceptions, but it'snot the rule.)
3. Being a Feminist- nothing kills a relationship faster than the supremacist group that hates men
4. Being loud and belligerent
5. Comparing men to the rule of 6
6. Can't cook/clean (men looking for a partner want an adult not a woman child.)
7. Thinks career and personal finance is a selling point in dating (few men care about their partner's career initially. Let him bring it up, and remember it's being brought up as small talk!)

Think that's all I got, hopefully some of this helps and you have better luck, but you gotta say what you bring. Good luck.

[CanadianLearner]

> my ex told me no one would ever want me or be with me and now I’m left feeling is he right?

Believing this might be part of the problem.

It's called a self-limiting belief, you create a self-fulfilling prophecy based on your beliefs.

---------------
With that said, you'll figure it out. Just keep putting yourself out there, and try to screen a bit more.

Figure out what the undesirable men have in common.

[Kiss_Me]

STOP pursuing relationships. Just date for fun. Don't have sex with guys that have not earned it. This will enable you to experience many different personalities and characters without getting "involved" emotionally or sexually. In time, someone will really stand out as "that guy."

Most people your age lack the strength or maturity to do this, but the results are undeniable.

[Kryzo]

What do you mean by "good" guy? And what are your requirements? How tall should he be? How good looking? How fit? How much money should he make? Are you a virgin/ if not, what's your bodycount? If you answer all these, I can give you an answer.

[Asker]

When I say a good guy just someone who wants what I want in a relationship. Like I’m looking to meet the “one” I want to settle down the line. Not into fooling around. Tallness doesn’t matter to me just once he’s not smaller than me lol and money i just want him to have a job and looks just attractive to me don’t want a model and I want him to be normal size doesn’t matter if he’s a dad bod or is skinny. I’m not a virgin

[Kryzo]

Right. And what is your approximate body count? Have you ever had casual sex? Say you meet this guy, how many dates would it take for you to have sex with him, or are you planning to wait until marriage?

[Asker]

Never had casual and 3 and probably a good few dates tbh

[Kryzo]

Okay. By probably a good too many, how many dates do you mean? Give me a number.

[Kryzo]

Well if you don't want to answer, it's fine. If you're looking for marriage, this is my advice to you. 3 is already getting to a high number if you want to get married. But I'm glad it wasn't hookups. Never let it hit double digits. And don't think you can get away with lying, guys will know, sooner or later. Don't sleep with dudes. Stay fit. Don't give it up easy. Wait for them to propose and marry you. Make your intentions clear from the beginning. Choose wisely based on personality. You will succeed. As for where to look, don't look on Tinder. Look in your University. Look in places you would think your marriage material guy would be in.

[Anonymous]

The first thing to do is look at the kind of guys you go out with. Do they have the qualities of a good date? Or the qualities you want for a long term relationship? What makes a guy a good date usually doesn't translate in to a good husband. You might want to date the most interesting man in the world; but you certainly don't want to marry that guy.

[Anonymous]

Well, sadly, you're only going to meet more guys like them because that is what you are attracted to, and you can't help.