Does a man fit anywhere into my life right now? How can I struggle less?

[Juststrollinagain]

So, I have been tortured.

I want to do better and have a better life but I have a hard time finding my equal or knowing when a guy takes me seriously. I really do. I also am economically disadvantaged, 3 of my major care takers passed away and I have been thrown around since and graduated college payign for it myself. The people in my college town enough conspired against me to harm me. I am Chrisitan and it has been hard to find someone who is also Christian and who is not evil. I have seen one Christian in the city I have been in in 2 months now and I take the subway everyday. I can only think about moving to finally get a chance to study and think. I have a min wage temp job and I have a 400 rent. A check that will take a month to get here, and the potential to create a graphics design portfolio.

So yeah this guy stopped responding to my messages too and it makes me sad. The men are bad here and most men try to beat women up and stop good men from approaching them and then torture women, Its hard to be this way because I have problems and they react more viciously. Its a nightmare and a hell unimaginable and its never ending until I find a way to leave.
I get mad because I see bad men actually keeps nice guys away from you. I have no way to meet good men. Everything is closed, or friends either. I have no money, my check was lost in the mail, again and so I am stranded here. The men around me are intentionally awful. Evil. And messedup and mad at me before I meet them for untrue rumors.
I wanted to move in with this guy I still do, but he does not seem to be able to handle the changes since moving to the bad city. I then no when i said no sex, and now not really talking after all the crazy stuff.

So now what do I do? Are men of any value for me? And saving for the next month preferably 2 weeks until my check gets here (worth a month of work) and finally completing a portfolio. Is it a dead end? I

Updates

+1 y

I mean I met this guy onlne and he said I COULD move in and took it back because he said he would want sex and now he just sort of screws aroudn with me I think on the phone. He got really mad at me once and I think he was serious? But how can you leave a woman who needs help stranded? :/ he said he thought I just needed money. w. e and nowhe hasn't responeded to my messages... I need help though :/ what do I do? Why do men give you so much lip and rage about it though?

[Gooblegobble]

Relax, everything will be okay. You have to stop equating men to money. You might have to get a real job and take care of yourself. This seems like a long post blaming everyone but yourself for the situation you are in. At the end of the day, you have to take care of yourself. A man will see that you are using him for money in 2 seconds and that's why they're leaving.

[Juststrollinagain]

At the end of the day you need to sexually please yourself. A woman will see in 2 secs that you are using her for sex. That was a very immasculine reply and I am correcting you now. The majority of men are angry now because they refuse to take responsibility as a man. And women have more difficluties veering alone. Other women, or the ugly stepsister syndrome will try to sabotage women every chance they get if they see she can be married to a man. Most women working or from other countries could not get a man to provide for them there because she is not considered beautiful by her own men. So they enter the American Job market and immigrate here and poor women who can are faced to deal with them everyday and they have no manners, are uncouth, and seeth at all American women with jealousy and put them down until working is unbearable. You are needed. And yes now I saw 4 homeless models who were moderate and kind women and reserved and nothing but bitching men.

[Juststrollinagain]

Im goign to also tell you. These women often use sex and flirting to appease men. So when poor American girls go to work these low wage jobs in highly immigrated communties with 60 50 percent immigrants like in NYC, they are attacked viciously. These women are not considered beautiful by their men in their country and could not marry someone to do better like in most of the other coutnries that are not as developed. So they come to America (assuming you are American) and try to like rape men, who are like innocent or being suepr slutty because its how they survive since they cannot another way. I was even hit sometimes by a older russian waiter at one of my first jobs and no one saw... They will always put sex first and almost never want to marry first because they kno a man won't wait for them because he does not really want them, she was availible. because they haven't stepped up yet. The song it ain't safe for the black and the white girls is true. So, yeah, and they dont find out until after hooking up with those types and think they like them because they are trying to flirt that hardbut they do that to EVERY single guy because they are not attractive and he's a pussy with low self esteem and doesn't even try to get the better girl who will make him a better man to his peers and family he just gives up, he's the creepy or weird one.

[Gooblegobble]

I don't know what to tell you. I treat the women I am with right. I'm sorry your life has been rough, but getting manic about it on here is not going to solve your problems. Take responsibility for your life, it isn't anyone's fault.

[kikino]

Just take care of yourself and dont worry about a boyfriend right now. And don't move in with a guy because he will probably want sex as you said. You can have male friends but sounds like the city your in will make that hard. So again focus on yourself, your needs and your goals.

[Juststrollinagain]

Thanks. I found an aticle that stated that the city that I am in makes women and children homeless, and 1 of 2 people who are residents were below poverty. A 50 percent chance so it is deliberate. I am going to do that. So this place is going to set me backwards which it has when I could of moved forward anywhere else. And made it harder for me to leave including residents resorting to stealing my ids and social security cards and attempting to hit me in the streets. So I hate the men here and men that dont do anything to help me. Because not even men go through that. I have a temp retail job for the Christmas season I'll have just enough to leave. I had a man offer to take care of me so I don't know what to say now. I know its a better decision but it is so difficult to have had to make these decisions so quickly with no experience when religion is not popular in most major areas.

[kikino]

I would be careful when a guy says he 'will take care of you' in your city, he probably wants sex or to beat you as you said. He may generally want to help you but I would not move in with him or him move in with you. Don't take money because money usually has a catch with it, like sex. Just try and focus on you, your health and well being and moving to a better city. If people are genuine in trying to help then they will help with you getting a better job, a better rent space, things that they really dont benefit from.

[Juststrollinagain]

Ok on secod thought I think he will help me. He won't want sex probably... Maybe he was just lying about that part.

[Juststrollinagain]

Maybe he will want to marry me too. Maybe this is a good life decision. Maybe this is good.

[Zen10]

Maybe you aren't in a place to be dating. Dating sucks because you are just testing if you like them or not, and not everyone is your type. If you aren't in the happiest place alone then you'll definitely hate dating

[Juststrollinagain]

I know I should of gotten married early. Why waste time now? I need to be supported.

[Zen10]

Find a roommate

[Juststrollinagain]

I already have. I want a man who wants to help me

[Juststrollinagain]

Its very hard to work as an attractive woman, men will almost always try to make you be flirtatious with them and lash out to you when you are not. My first big internship I was asked if I did sexual favors for money by the CEO but it was his company and it was after like a month of working there and past internship deadlines for that season. I did nothing wrong and dressed down all the time I only wore foundation and loose clothing.

[Juststrollinagain]

I see your point but if you are pretty with deceased parents you will have to probably sleep with men or get fired continiously and bullied by other women its the cinderella story your bosses will harass you and bully you and underpay you it has been my experience. Because they see that her parent died and she has no money so they take out their problems on you. I have gotten fired for not saying hi when i lived in a housing assistence space that I could not pay for thatwas free and many former addicts lived there and they still fired me and I had nothing, and got beat up on a train by other women. Thats the reality when a woman has no money. Most girls just lived with their boyfriends but i didn't have one because most people met on apps and had sex first and I am christian. Basically, women could work and recently because of the influx in immigration very attractive women without family support or money are eaten up because of the immigrant women who are normally not able to get married in their countries and looked down upon by wealthy men due to hooking up to make up for that and come here and bully pretty women out of work and try to sleep with clients. I got fired so much. I had no boyfriend either or experience to even have one.

[Anonymous]

oh, I feel bad for you. I hope you find the man of your dreams. A caring companion could make things better.

[Juststrollinagain]

Thanks not even that though or a man who helps young women who are troubled and who have a harder time working because of their appearence. It might be a sham, but I did get fired for not saying hi once to myboss and he finally wrote me up including that. So yes it happens and if there is no man to stop less attractive women and men from harming younger women than what is societyanyway? Valuable men and women are being mauled by lesser ones, nah

[Anonymous]

Maybe you should taker a break froim men for a while

[Opinion Owner]

reponse to yuor updaten: Maybe you should taker a break froim men for a while

[Juststrollinagain]

I have. I have only spoken to this man I met online.

[Juststrollinagain]

I feel like I am missing out on something. I wish I would of gotten married in my early 20s. This is a lot of financial burden, and the unrest is making it so I cannot workbecause people are so crazy and I have to have any job right now because I have to pay for my own rent I can't wait around for a job with a bad portfolio and I can't afford photoshop

[Opinion Owner]

why not get a couple of roommates

[Juststrollinagain]

why not get married? I can't I live in shoe box.

[Juststrollinagain]

When I am financially well off people like me more but I am so stressedall the time and it is near impossible to work with people here. Also, he didn't textmefor 2 days?

[Juststrollinagain]

I dont have any roomates because the rent i shigh this room is in a highly bad area but cheap. I dont have a stable income. I have one temporary job until January in retail. I just want to get married. I want to be with someone too, becuase that would be nice right?

[Opinion Owner]

it could be nice. but don't get married just because you're poor. only get married to someone that you love

[Juststrollinagain]

Well... I don't believe in sex before marriage! SO its not because of that I can really see myself with someone this guy. How do you think you know if you love someone though. Since society is backwards in marrying, and now becauseof immigration young American women are having a harder time working and 56 percent of millenials live with their parents... You should getmarried if you love someone because if youdont I dont think men really loveher becausehe spent his lifeworking to provide for a woman he loves.

[Juststrollinagain]

If you love a woman you're supposed to want to give her the world and everything you have!

[Opinion Owner]

And I would but you need to fix your life now and not wait for a guy that might never come around