How do I find a husband now that I've ruined my reputation?

[Anonymous]

I was really hurt by my ex in the past and ended up having a "hoe" phase. It was rarely anything physical. I am still a virgin. I wanted them to love me but they never did. I ended up sending nudes after nudes. I was weird and clingy. I was getting validation for my hot body though. I blocked all these guys now. Now every time i want to talk to a guy ill see if he follows one of the guys who used me or the guy from my class and there's always a link. I fucked up. I can't hide my past. Im just so scared if they ask them about me what they would say. I know my worth and I want love.

[Oliverlogan263]

Sis, it's okay - every girl makes mistakes when they're hurtin'. Don't be so hard on yourself, the past is the past.

Truth is, most guys won't care too much about some old nudes or flings as long as you're honest with em. How you carry yourself now is what matters most.

Keep focusing on school, have fun with your girlfriends, enjoy life. A real man will see your good heart and want to get to know YOU - not all the dumb rumors.

If a guy asks about your past, just own it. "Yeah I went through some stuff but I'm past that now." Don't deny or lie, just keep it light.

You got so much greatness ahead, don't let some boys' actions define who you are or hold you back from love. Believe in yourself! The right one who appreciates you will come around.

For now, dust yourself off sis. You got this! V

[Berethor]

Well for what it's worth nudity can be innocent, on the other hand sex is never innocent.

https://allthetropes.org/wiki/Innocent_Fanservice_Girl

[DishLady]

Tbh, with social media being as crazy as it is, who knows whether your photos are on some cloud and will come back to haunt you later in life. There's no guarantee of a fresh start.


To be "girlfriend" or "Wife" material I would suggest first joining a support group or therapeutic discussion forum with a professional to see WHY you started down this path, to explore HOW you truly feel about yourself and then finally do all the mental work that will help you turn your situation around and learn how to distinguish a good person from a fake or undeserving person.


After that you'd be more prepared for someone special.

[Asker]

ur right my pics are somewhere for sure. my friends are my therapists they are really great. I think I just never had a hoe phase so i went through that late. Never was alone since i was with my ex for 7 years so I tried finding it. I was really sexual with my ex but we had been together for years. He loved me unconditionally so I thought others would give me that kinda love too. I also tried to be with people who were long distance and these guys just used me. were like oh we will visit you but never did. or one guy i was in love with for 4 months and we met in the middle 2.5 hours each and i did stuff with him. He ended up saying i was too far away. like he knew the distance all along but now it was a problem.

[DishLady]

Friendly suggestion not to lean too much on your friends as “therapists” bc that gets to be very overwhelming for them after a while. Get a proper professional to counsel you through this if you can.

And moving forward just remember to be careful and value yourself.

[Asker]

ur right i tried to get a therapist school said it was unlimited but it became limited

[DishLady]

If you’re in school you’re permitted a fresh series of services every 3 months. They can’t deny you. It’s illegal. Just hang in there and assert yourself with the providers.

[Asker]

graduate school. i just used the services so i guess gotta wait 3 months

[DishLady]

No, you don’t. Spring term is about to end. Go bang on that door to set up a summer schedule.

[PeachyPie93]

Move.
My sisters friend was an escort and basically everyone I knew and she knew all heard about what she did for a living. Some of s people used to make fun of her behind her back and stuff. An old guy she was seeing paid for her to go to college and then she moved out of town and met a rich hot guy married him and now she has 2 kids with him plus one she doesn't know who the dad is from before she moved. It's one of her ex's kid but she doesn't know who because she was quite the hoe.

[Asker]

prob is all the guys were in diff states

[PeachyPie93]

Then how can everyone you like be linked to these other guys? Just don't date online then, i guess?

[Asker]

like it will be one chicago guy and he knows other Chicago guy. or guy in Maryland knows virignia guy

[Starrrboy]

This reminds me of a girl I was talking to.. she was exactly the same as you.. she told me she was a virgin but she kept sending nudes to guys she barely knows because she wanted to feel sexy and good about her body ( why are many girls like this? Lol)... normally, that would be a huge turn off and like an instant deal breaker.. But because she seemed lovely and kinda my type.. I didn't think of it right away.. instead I found myself giving it second thoughts and actually started making excuses for her thinking " technically , they never touched her or even slept in the same bed " and " girls have needs too 🤣 "... my point is, if someone really likes you, they'll treat you as an exception and break the rules for you..

[DrPepper12]

You already said it. You fucked up, you own it, you're not that person anymore. Radical sincerity. I'm proud of you! Very mature and reflective!

[BryanMoore]

Those actions should not affect your reputation and the right person will be understanding of your past decisions (especially made in a vulnerable time when you were hurting).

We all have pasts and anyone who unfairly judges you for that isn't the right person for you.

[slatyb]

Move out of whatever small town you are in. In the city no one cares.

[Asker]

prob is all the guys were from diff states that i found

[slatyb]

So who knows about your sexual history?

[Asker]

all 13 guys I've talked to

[slatyb]

Stop telling them

[Asker]

yeah but I've already done it unforutntely

[Anonymous]

Ok so if you’re still a virgin what exactly happened sexually? How many men did you have this hoe phase w? I think if it’s that bad you might try moving if that’s an option.

[Asker]

prob is i sent nudes to like at least 13 guys and like mostly all in diff states. I've only in person done things with 3 guys. i had 1 real boyfriend. we stopped at oral. i wanted to wait till marriage and he was respectful. next guy i fell in love with bc im stupid so it was a situationship. talked for 3 months met once made out with him he slapped my ass wanted to go down on me and got his dick out and i said no thank you bc i was scared of him. last guy i was also in love with and he broke up with me last month :( we talked for 4 months met once and i gave him oral

[Opinion Owner]

Oh well honestly I don’t think it’s that bad. Sure sending the pics wasn’t the best idea but the 3 encounters I don’t think is that bad. Not like some of the other women who I’ve heard w much much higher numbers.

[jahaims]

So you are saying you don't want to take accountability for your actions.

[RedInnocent69]

Don’t sound much like a hoe.