Why is it so hard to find a good guy?

Question

All I want is a simple connection seems like most guys don’t want that I just want to get to know them to see if there can be an interest at all

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

Finding a good partner is hard for everyone, but I can tell you what most women do wrong. You can only find a good partner if your choosing criteria is their morals, values, and life goals, but most women instead choose men based on their looks, their money/success, their popularity/social status, and how exciting (dangerous and unpredictable) they are. Given this, it isn't at all surprising that women have so much trouble with the men they choose.

It's the top 10% or so of men who get the top 80% of women, because the vast majority of women ONLY look at the top 10% of men. This group of men have so many options with women that they have no reason to commit or to treat any of them especially well. If one woman gets upset, or becomes difficult to deal with (wants a commitment), he has 20 other women waiting in line for their turn, and he can replace her instantly.

For the other 90% of men, it's hard to get ANY attention from women. The top guysin this group (let's say the guys from 81-90%) typically either only get occasional dates or are fortunate enough to get a relationship and they keep her. Guys 80% and below range from a couple of dates a year to nothing for years at a time. Nearly half of men under 30 are either virgins or have not had sex in over a year.

Most women only deal with the top 10% of men, who treat them badly, and just assume that ALL men are like that because all the men they choose (top 10% men) are like that. But the experience is radically different for the top 10% men and the rest, and even the top 10% men will confirm that.

So, if you really want what you say you want, you will ignore the top 10% guys that all the other girls want, and pick a guy near the top of the lower 90%, and you'll choose him based on his morals, values, and life goals, and you will build a life with him together.

magiusX26 · Accepted Answer

because more and more of us havecseen how toxic dating is, have been used beyond repair, and/or, gave up finding a quality, tolerable, and/or worthy partner. also keep in mind more and more of us also have a sort of shelf life on caring to even try, like myself, it has gotten to the point that as a man wjo would want to be a bio dad, finding a compatible partner has taken too long to where i won't try because there are aspects of such relationships that shoupd be joyous become a bitter chore because we can not fully enjoy those aspects. an example being no longer wanting yo become a father because finding ms right took so long we would be looking at having to have a spouse change our diapers along with the child's as well as we woupd not be able to physically kerp up with our child or children lwaving us feeling like a burden. think about how much of a romantic mood killer it would be on you if you felt like a burden to your partner or how sexy you would be/feel if you were having to be taken care of like a newborn. also think of how much strain that could put on a relationship.

AnnaYork · Accepted Answer

Finding a good partner can be challenging, and there are many factors that contribute to this difficulty. Here are a few possible reasons:

Limited social circles: If you're only meeting people through your existing social circles, you may not be exposed to a diverse range of potential partners.
Unrealistic expectations: If you have a long list of criteria that a partner must meet, it may be difficult to find someone who checks all the boxes. It's important to have some standards, but being too picky can limit your options.
Timing: Finding the right person often requires patience and persistence. It can take time to find someone who is compatible with you and ready for a committed relationship.
Dating culture: The dating culture in your area or age group may not be conducive to finding a long-term partner. Some people may be more interested in casual dating or hookups, which can make it harder to find someone looking for a serious relationship.
Personal factors: Sometimes, personal factors such as low self-esteem, fear of commitment, or past traumas can make it harder to find a good partner. Addressing these issues with a therapist or counselor can help you become more open to healthy relationships.
Ultimately, it's important to remember that finding a good partner takes time and effort. It's important to stay open-minded, put yourself out there, and be patient as you navigate the dating world.

Adaeva · Accepted Answer

They are all over the place. They just don't meet your expectations. I'm certain you are like most girls on GAG making similar complaints. You choose to date the hottest guys that will have sex with you and reject guys within your league that want a relationship. However, for a one-night-stand or a short fling, guys date way below their league for sex but they don't marry down.

Guy13 · Answer

Finding good spouse is difficult for both the Male and Female Sex. The majority of guys are decent no matter what the media and social media does to the average person's mind and heart. We guys feel the same way as we once struggled to find a traditional woman who has lived by those values.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Simply finding a good guy would not be enough. Compatibility of partners is not based on "are they both good people?" There are plenty of good guys who you have overlooked because they were too short, too fat, too tall, too thin, too poor, drove a beater car, didn't dress flashy, dressed too flashy, lacked education, had so much education that you felt intimidated, etc.

Pinay_ako · Answer

It’s not that hard… you just need to change your environment. Your expectations. It’s no luck either. There’s still many good guys out there.

coachTanthony · Answer

It's not hard just take a look at the guys you put in the Friend Zone. Those are they guys you should be looking at... the boring ones who have a nice job and are family oriented.

Lionman95 · Answer

Because being good is no desirable quality in modern dating. A person that just does everything like expected is what's defined as average. Since average has a bad connotation and seems to be boring many guys try to avoid that. I think what you should have is patience because many guys have felt used by women in the past so they will take time to open up since a woman that's taking it slowly is seen as a woman that's trust worthy. Sure there are guys that want to do things quickly but they are often not interested in something long term.

lightbulb27 · Answer

I'm sorry, but our culture has removed so many of the things that raise quality males.. two parents, a father, values... inserted garbate media, games, corrupt ideas of relationships. It's a mess of confusion. Females contributed to that, your friends and those before you, corrupted them.

So you have more work to do. You will have to look harder, past all the emotional damage and work with someone... and you are competing against a bunch of others that want the same guys. Hold your value high but play in the same game.

To be fair, at your age, I was awfully immature, knew nothing, messed up emotionally, so I have experience:) There are decent guys, I meet them occasionally and good news... a lot of women are not interested and will overlook them. So "see" like an Eagle when you are out and about.

What you can commit to is being a good parent in the future...

JamesHarrys · Answer

There are plenty of good men. You're probably not interested in them, yet. But you have to know a few things.

1. Men are not interested in promiscuous women (they'll sleep with you sure, but nothing more). So riding the carousel will disqualify you from good guys. Assuring paternity is hard-coded in our DNA, and promiscuity is a major red flag for pair-bonding.

2. We like feminine women who are attractive, supportive, loyal and compliant (bickering is not cute, that's how you lose a man's interest)

3. We mature slowly, we learn our values from our parents but mostly from experience. We have to figure our shit out first and that takes time. Forget about the "fixing bad boys" fantasy, you're wasting your time.

But more importantly, take your time to figure yourself out and chose your partners carefully.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

I’ve met a few of them.

The older you get the harder it is, since they already get corrupted by the worst things of life.

So, it shouldn’t be to find some very good and trustworthy 18-24 years old people in your age.

Just act accordingly and you’ll attract them.

serious · Answer

No, it is not hard at all. In fact even on this site, there are people who are genuinely nice, sweet, kind, caring etc

As for you if you simply need a connection to just talk, then I am sure you will come across quite a lot of people here.

I am not talking about only this site. What I said applies in life also, your real life also. However, you need to take the risk of trusting the guy.

Wish you good luck

Fabiloso · Answer

Most good ones marry off since they were most likely raised trad. But good is a bit of a spectrum and based on you. I mean same goes for women. And typically the fam pushes a woman to marry and all that a bit quicker, and though it's her choice it doesn't take much for baby fever to kick in for a lot of women so they'll more likely get picked up faster than men. there's a lot of growth needed by everyone. Stay strong!

loveslongnails · Answer

Why? Because you're 19 and you're dating guys in your age group. The vast majority of guys your age think of the term "connection" as a catch phrase to use when they're trying to make you think they care about you, so they can fuck you.

Mikael818 · Answer

Very Good question. It is very hard to find a loving guy because men with oxytocin or vasopressin receptors are rare. Most of the men are dopamine motivated aka sex motivated. They like the girl outward or body.. not the gender. But dont worry. There are men though rare who will love and care you just the way you love and care your cat or puppy.

BarryLiverstone · Answer

It’s a challenge meeting a stranger and expecting to feel a connection because often times what people share initially isn’t who they are. We tend to want to hold back who we really are when we meet someone for fears they will not accept us and the little human individual quirks we all have. So your desire to find a good guy likely will take more effort than the first time you meet someone. What’s your experience taught you so far?

Anonymous · Answer

You attract what you are. You might be too young to understand that, but that's the one thing I had to learn the hard way, and could have saved myself a lot of stress had I known when I was your age. In order to attract the kind of man you want, you've gotta want to be the kind of woman he'll want, and that woman will be the best version of yourself. Men love kind, soft, feminine women, and the kind of man you want, has options. So if you want that man, earn him.

Anonymous · Answer

You're too young. At your age range, guys are mostly scum. Horny duplicitous scum. You kind of have to know that going in and try to learn from the many frogs you'll date before someone turns out to have grown up into a young Prince.

Try not to marry early or get pregnant...

Dinosaursandanime65 · Answer

Because everyone now is letting their pathetic feeble delicate minds being manipulated by woke identity politics and becoming Satanic disgusting excruciatingly perverted massive gargantuan hunks of Torosaurus sh*t. You’re better off developing an unbreakable bond with a cat or something, at least they remain innocent somewhat.

WanderingLoveWizard · Answer

Given your age, I'd say the guys you're getting with probably haven't matured enough to be a good guy lol

I certainly wasn't in my early 20s. I was a man on a mission to destroy as much pussy as possible

st1ckf1ghter89 · Answer

Let me Guess you’re a 30-something has had your fun with the top 20% of men and violent thugs and now that you have most likely hit the wall and have no eggs wonder why Chad doesn't want you? You have had all the time since you were 13-14 to find a nice guy but you didn't because they weren't the top 20% or not a violent thug.

Here is the thing they don't want a Chad widow and they are either dating younger women or have gone over seas.

burlen · Answer

I guess that depends on what you mean by "good" guy. Start by describing the qualities of the "good" guy and then identify the locations you can find them.

Anonymous · Answer

Feminist controlled Society has told men that being men is evil, they have vaginalized males, falsely accused us of crimes for showing interest, they have told girls that being trashy slutty hoes is acceptable and they shouldn’t be judged for it, most women have lost all dignity and class, they have ruined basic male/female dynamics.

so good men are avoiding women like the plague.

Truthatanycost · Answer

A lot of women don't have a hard time finding a good guy, they have a hard time finding a good guy they are attracted to...

FunkyMonkee · Answer

It's not, normally, what girls go after! Didn't mom ever teach you that you're SUPPOSED to go after the raging assholes, not the nice guys, like me!

The_Shadow_Dweller · Answer

Because you are always looking far. Never close enough. Around you.

Nikki1989 · Answer

There are not many out there. You need some luck for it to happen.

mattc007007 · Answer

Most men do want that, and want a stable relationship. I don't know why it's been hard for you, but the "player" thing is very immature and not common once you hit 30.

midnightcavern01 · Answer

Your standards may be too high or you need to change your approach

Christoff92 · Answer

Because we'll find life like the Orangutans 🦧🤣

PainusNdeeAnus · Answer

Well because women didn’t hold bad women accountable they used the good guys and made them not want to even date anymore  it’s why we are currently living in a sexless generation

Anonymous · Answer

That's what you keep asking for. Stop complaining about what you dont want and start focusing on what you do want.

boobliker · Answer

your look in the wrong plase, try taking your time in the supper marcket just spend time look good and lost to what to eat.

LiamJHayden · Answer

You are in the "hook up" age range. Might want to look at guys a little older.

OddBeMe · Answer

Occam’s razor: either you have dated enough guys to have proper polling data to make this claim…. or you haven’t dated enough guys…

Twalli · Answer

Most guys you want to get to know better to find out if you want to date probably don't want to start as friends.

Anonymous · Answer

Women aren't attracted to good guys. They just use them.

Elenafairchild20 · Answer

Some guys have personal issues during their childhood that leave them a mark and if they never had difficulty with their parents then they will just be spoiled players

Anonymous · Answer

A connection? lol I don't think you're capable of that.

Anonymous · Answer

There are a lot who want the connection but most likely you aren’t attracted to those types or are in your friend zone

ThomasDavid1989 · Answer

Sometimes the best ones, are the ones you least expect

bamesjond0069 · Answer

You must not attract or even consider these men.

wannabecuck-2 · Answer

They are busy building career not on dites like these.

In_Trance · Answer

Because you keep doing the same things with the same type of guys expecting different results

SpudSteer · Answer

It really isn’t most of the good guys are in ur friend zone are good also the men you normally wouldn’t pay the time of day

tallblondejohm · Answer

It's not I'm right here but yes I believe it's hard to find a good one just like it's hard to find a good woman

malwins · Answer

Most guys r not fuckboys its just the 2 percent lol

Anonymous · Answer

Because women look for guys who are interesting. Interesting guys bring drama.

jshm2 · Answer

Because you are not a good girl.

_Just_A_girl_ · Answer

rough dating scene now

serious_miss419 · Answer

What do you need one for?

gorydetails · Answer

What are you bringing to the table?

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

Why is it so hard to find a good girl?

Anonymous · Answer

You're not really looking that's why.

Anonymous · Answer

they'll come to you unexpectedly

Anonymous · Answer

Why is it so hard to find a good woman

Anonymous · Answer

Because it's difficult to get a good girl too.

TrillXHippy · Answer

Lol.

jimmy2 · Answer

Me too dear

Why is it so hard to find a good guy?

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