Why is it hard to find decent man nowadays?

Question

IsoUser · Accepted Answer

Considering that most 20 somethings live off daddy and mommy's allowances I would say yes because most don't even work. I know that niece and nephew didn't have their first jobs until they were 19 and 20 respectively. I started working at 14 years old in a burger joint when I was 14 years old after my dad passed away from a heart attack and handed every check to my mom to help her out with the exception of maybe 15/20 bucks for my self other than that every cent went towards helping us as a family. I didn't mind because all of my older uncles and relatives said however well respected or meant pulled me aside and said you're the " Quote Man Of The House Now, Help Your Mother " So I did for each of my mom, twin sister's, and the household. I didn't care. I just knew that I was helping my family and that's all that mattered. My mom graduated nursing school as an ER Surgical Nurse, and became hired at Duke University, North Carolina and we moved into a great big home closer to her work. The rest is history I entered the US US Army right after Graduation from HighSchool and joined US Carlvay, then became a US Army Scout Sniper for the US Calvary for 6 years 4 months and 23 days, I resigned and joined USAF PJS, as an Indoc Upon condition I complete Indoc and service, I ended up serving 5 years in Iraq and another 7 years in Afghanistan as USAF PJ and only Officers knew that I was a Sniper because of bounties on Our Heads mine was 75 thousand dollars from Taliban for my Head and Rifle. So only Officers ever knew that I was a US Sniper embedded with USAF PJ'S, they would occasionally say that I needed to take out this or that target so I just did it typically a high value Isis bomber or planners I figured that I saved about 190 or so Marines and about the same for SAS troops and about 472 US Army troops and Our Own PJ'S. Then about 30 days prior to my disconnect I get the News my tour is up time to calm down and to come quote off the Edge Of The Blade, You're actually going home! The rest has lead me to a very quiet town in Northeast Pennsylvania where I enjoy the unassuming quote Quiet Life Lol

walter89 · Accepted Answer

It depends on the people you surround with or you go out to places. When you start going for looks chances are, they don't have knowledge or may have but it all depends on you, how dumb you want the guy to be.

When you start to love yourself you will attract love. When you go desperately you will attract desperately guys 😆. 🤷‍♂️.

Is never the other person, is you, who do you want in your circle. Since when was the last time to you saw the only flavor soda in the store 😆. You take your time to choose which one. Then take your time choose what guy and take your time to know him. Learn to use hand brake all the time. When a guy begins to talk to you sooooo damn sweet and honey in first dates. Make a decision do you want to get laid or do you want to walk away find someone who love taking their time same way you cook your food at your taste and then bite at your taste to enjoy.

If you are too young make decision. Do want to enjoy life first or are you ready to establish a relationship? Both genders must be knowledgable and financially stable. Remember bills and kids are not cheap and stress. Specially both parents has some knowledge when kids ask a question.

FictionalCharacter · Accepted Answer

Here’s why you’re not having luck finding a decent man. It’s probably the location and places where you meet. Especially online (Snapchat). Now I don’t know that, because you didn’t say where you’re meeting players. I’m only assuming since most players are on online and hookup places like bars and social apps.

You also probably have preferences and high standards of what type of partner you want. Which is fine and normal but it’s going to be hard to find that special partner you are visualizing.

Another thing, everyone always bumps into a bad seed. EVERYONE. That most of the time that bad seed does bloom and we see the person true colors.

You also don’t have a settle with any guy you’re not attracted to and no one can force or convince you what type of person you should date.

But in the end, you’re still learning who the players are and hopefully you don’t meet the next one.

LilyoftheLake · Accepted Answer

Honestly? I think it's always been a bit of a problem, but we've accentuated it culturally. For starters, hookup culture has made it so men don't have to change and grow to get sex. That was a problem. Secondly, a lot of the neo-feministic movements have been very disrespectful and outright derogatory to men, which lowers general esteem, leading to a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Thirdly, we claim that we don't need them, which leads to them feeling useless and like it's not worth trying to be a "decent man." In a recent discussion with a very respected male friend, he mentioned that it seems like women are NATURALLY nice, and then let go of it, while men are NATURALLY mean, and have to consciously choose to be kind and good.

Finchie40 · Answer

Cuz men are dealing with the same shit with females , Bottom line when someone has someone good in their life they tend to overlook it and think they deserve better , people always want what they don’t have , once they lose what they already had that’s when they realize how stupid they were for walking away in the first place , If people got into relationships and removed their own selfishness and wore their partners shoes like they should be wearing theirs , love would grow , but people are selfish and only really care about themselves and that’s when relationships fall apart, I feel social media played a big part on destroying relationships because people tend to compare their lives to others and then start resenting their partners thinking that’s how they should be living their lives , So if you can’t sacrifice for your partner they can’t sacrifice for you , when you don’t make your partner a priority they can’t make you a priority we can only give what we want to receive , if you are constantly giving without receiving , then the giver will eventually give to someone else that wants to receive So bottom line Selfishness is the biggest relationship killer.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Perhaps because you are looking in the wrong places, or have the wrong idea about what constitutes a decent man.

Avicenna · Answer

You’re rejecting the decent guys who would be happy to have a relationship with you because you’re chasing flashier guys.

Jaguarsxr051 · Answer

I don't believe that. You probably just have false standards and you won't accept someone who looks average with kind personality I'm not saying all woman are like that I myself were very kind to them and respecting them but no more I'm not saying I'm walking and shaming or disrespect woman of course no but they ruined the dating game with their own hands I get ton of girls when I go out with my Porsche but when I go out with my Nissan I get nothing so that give us an image about what woman wants now days I rarely meet genuinely kind woman. Good men quit dating game since long Time we bring everything and yet we could lose it and get cheated on for unimaginable reasons like there was no enough attention!! Or he had six pack !! I highly believe many good men now days paying for sex and they see it's not worth it to have relationship or marriage with woman woman have high body count and go on hot summer girl after the break up we have higher values and things to take care of. I personally prefer my Porsche engine sound than approaching a woman and have a talk because some woman makes traps fake eye contact fake attention and when you approaching her she show her true color and Change the tone with time I knew she just wanted my attention and she wanted validation and someone reach her and I'm 6.2 and fit I can't believe what shorts guys are feeling

Hulk30 · Answer

it ain't hard it's just that decent men ain't what most women want ill put it this way some women pushed for equality they even got that even superiority now yet still ain't got what they want in the datin game and all that's because of paramount basic principles that they just dont understand so ill give ya some women's fitness self improvement and protection channel's with some sites at the end so that you and every woman that really want's a decent man can actually get 1 if they simply just watch the material that im about to share with ya it's really that simple passion 4 profession tara stiles pop sugar fitness yoga with adriene tone it up body rock xhit daily fitness blender befit sarah fit bikini model fitness crossfit zuzka light rebekah borucki-bex life jessica smith tv blogialtes sciencebasedsixpack. com thehealthsite. com beauty iq amber martin vicky justiz get fit by ivana massy arias daisy keech kenicherie janaye penn tiffanie ray annabelle hayes renee mowatt abigail ekweghi mandy rose jane kate fitness the bk booty fitness roberta's gym hana milly bright side sonja lauren women's workout channel everyday bright nicolettaxo ways and how cindy flores lumowell maryam hampton glamrs rebecca-louise hello ladies with rom wills mr. locario women's channels locario speaks return of the mack lessons the elite way izm radio alexyss k. tylor auntie angel zodiac talks womenshealthmag. com scottyoung. com 2 great books must reads for women from tariq nasheed from capitaloneshopping. com are play or be played everything women need to know about men dating and relationships and the art of gold digging peace and blessins ladies

mermaidcancermoon · Answer

Not dating correctly usually. And poor standards.

can't talk to men who aren't ready for a relationship

can't match with men who have blank profiles even if he's cute

can't agree to go to bars, clubs, or homes as first dates

can't wawte time arguing with a guy for not being the right match

Must use the block/delete button when a man is flaky or doesn't align with your values and boundaries

Must focus primarily on an emotional connection and independence rather than wealth and physical appearance

Must not have a sky highh defense when chatting with a guy, it turns off the nice ones

glennos89 · Answer

Look in your friendzone! 90% of woman don't understand that they friendzone all the good guys they are looking for and end up choosing the wrong guys for the wrong reasons!

Not saying that you also do but chances are high that you fall for bad boy type of guys because they are exiting, while the guys your looking for aren't exiting enough for you that's why you friendzone them!

I base my opinion on the fact that I have lots of female friends and they all seem to do the same thing. Complain about not finding good guys but not understanding that it's their own wrong choices that puts them in that position and I clearly noticed that this is a typical problem that lots of woman have in their life!

You simply can't blame it on all the guys that easely when of you choose the wrong ones yourself because they are exiting bad ass.

If you choose bad boys then you will choose guys who aren't what you really searching for🤗

Ευδεμονια · Answer

I sincerely think “decent man” is a wide concept that has to be defined more, since most of men claim to be a decent man but most of women say men are all assholes.
I think everyone has its own concept for properly decent man, so according to your tastes and preferences you may look otherwise to find the right man since maybe you’ve watched for him in wrong places.

I’ll make an example, if you ideal man has a high moral, maybe you should go to Church social clubs so you can meet high moral value men.

MCheetah · Answer

It's not. Modern women just don't want guys less than an 8 out of 10, under six feet tall, or not possessing abs, so they only go after the top 5% of men, the Chads, who treat them like crap, then whine online that there are "no good men" even though they dismiss all the good men and assume them to be "incels" due to them not being super-attractive, tall, or successful.

... And then, these same women actually expect sympathy from people online for their own sh*tty actions and choices in men. I'm honestly so sick of seeing this sh*t. Even when women treat men like trash or commodities, it's still somehow "men's fault" for women's own actions and behavior.

Good men exist out there. You just aren't worthy of them and CLEARLY don't want them.

Why is it hard to find decent man nowadays?

Reaper1985 · Answer

what do you consider to be a decent man?

because typically the guys who are likely to settle down with a girl. are the more average looking ones with more average jobs making 25k to 75k a year. however many of them get passed over by girls so often. they slowly remove themselves from dating over time.

the fuck/bad boys or top tier guys that so many girls fall for often have over a dozen girls chasing them. so they don't typically settle down with any single one of them long term.

easiest way to tell them apart is if their willing to wait until your in a exclusive relationship for 3+ months to start doing anything sexual.

Anonymous · Answer

Get some standards. Stop bar or club hopping, stop dressing or acting like a trollop / street walker, and stop "hooking up" with any or every douchebag that smiles at you, buys you a beer, or spends a cheap compliment. ... Problem solved.

As someone said men "behave" towards a lady (or respectable woman). As the old saying goes, you can put lipstick on a pig but that doesn't make it a lady.
.

In comparison I have self-respect, and self-esteem, dress conservatively (e. g. ankle-length skirts, turtleneck blouses), don't hang out at bars or clubs desperately, etc., and have never had an issue finding a decent guy. In fact, I often attract the interest of successful businessmen because I am a respectable woman.

Adronicus · Answer

A man can tell a lot about what a woman complains about. Decent men exist but lets be honest here, do woman really want them? I'll assume you actually do for arguments sake; they're not at the bars, they're not trying to sleep with your friends, they're not out to get rich & lord it over others. They're either seeking a good woman or they're at home being that rock for the ones they love, drowned in problems that aren't theirs by anything other than their choice. They choose to sacrifice for others at the detriment to themselves & you're telling me woman want a man like that & enjoy the ride?

noless10in · Answer

It's hard to find decent men because they get up before daylight they work their ass off until dark they come home and do what they can before they go to bed and start all over again. Dedicating their entire life to her family to find out that's the wife is screwed around on him the whole time that he is making me sacrifices. Don't look at a bar for a good man don't look on the internet for a good man. Look for the guy with the dirty hands and the broken heart and that's where you'll find you're good man.

Anonymous · Answer

It might be the type of guys you date? But I also always suggest women do some approaching also, especially if you are interested in a guy. It's often the "players" that do the approaching. But it's hard these days period (for us guys finding a woman also). People are so quick to judge and make conclusions, and I find don't bother taking the time to get to know you at all. I also think sometimes if sex is brought up, women are too quick to assume that it's ALL he wants, when it's not necessarily the case with a lot of us. But because we're often "ready" quicker (and all guys would like sex), it can sometimes seems that way. You should always ask him, and never assume anything.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

Simply put most "good men" are not the type of men who cold approach women. If you're getting these guys from clubs/bars or letting random bums off the street approach you... You're getting what you deserve. Those are the PUA types (players) that value getting puss more than anything else.

Like you'll need to start overlooking the ones that get all up in your face and pushy... because you'll be wasting your time with them only if they're all in your space.

Lr_today · Answer

These answers are a f-ing cesspool of pathetic men.
OP, go on reddit and check out FDS (Female Dating Strategy) and follow the guidebook. It will help you avoid the losers like the men who've answered here so far.
The reasons include, men who think they are entitled to sex without commitment and... oh wait that's it.
If you're online dating, delete Tinder completely. Any other online dating make it clear you are looking for a relationship with a stable (emotionally and financially) guy who is less than 5 years older than you. Do not tolerate ANY sexual talk, and do not have sex with a man you are dating for at least 10 dates or around 2 months, any guy who isn't ok with that will weed themselves out as the unworthy fuckbois they are.

Jujuman12322 · Answer

From my opinion it’s usually the women who pick the wrong guy, there are plenty of good men out there, but they won’t approach you as a dating partner unless you open yourself up as one, as well, for me specifically, I just started going out with the woman I’ve always been looking for, look for the man you have similar interests with, someone who’s going to make an effort, but you need to put effort in too, don’t expect a man to do everything and be happy with it. I know I haven’t been, keep in mind also that a decent man is doing a lot of work on himself and if he thinks you’re worth the effort he will put it in.

HighValue · Answer

Because if a man is a good quality man, there are almost no women that come anywhere close to being good enough. Their morals and past makes most of them unacceptable as partners. Good men tend to just give up after years of only finding low quality (often trash) available for dating.

Jendcheuebc · Answer

It’s all about perspective. Love yourself, be patient with the process, open your mind and heart to new people and opportunities. It’s easier to manifest the right people with the right energy when you have it within yourself. Also-most people will kinda suck in general and will be weird towards everyone so don’t take it personally. But I have met many many amazing and kind men in my years. Dont be shy and don’t worry-things fall into place NATURALly. :-)

SimpleGuy95 · Answer

Because most guys that are decent aren´t solely decent. Compare guys with a dice being decent is just one side they or don´t have. If you just look for that one side it is harder to find.
There is no general to that because more than often it is luck that determines whether or not people find the right partner. Maybe a good start is looking for guys that are interested in having a relationship and set that as a standard.

MysticDevice · Answer

Cause all the decent guys are at work doing overtime and hate going to popular bars and clubs where all the players are. Cause we hate players too. Or we just go right home cause we're exhausted from work. Its really hard for decent people to meet eachother these days.

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

1. You're not a decent woman
2. You have a type
3. You're superficial. (Nothing wrong with going for looks, but a lot of people take it too far)
4. You have no boundaries or don't respect boundaries.
5. You always you can do better.
6. You're not their type
7. You're easy

It's either one or more.

garykingg · Answer

Cause many decent men are working towards their purpose and finds having a woman to be burden, a relationship isn't a good investment on time.

Most women aren't decent either, so decent men really question, "what can she possibly add to my life that I already don't have?"

baserunner611 · Answer

It's not. You caught up got a girlfriend or my boyfriend don't like him. In love my dad told me I must be self must care for what I want in a girl. My opinion only not his, no mother or friends. I must sleep with her, eat with her living with her. Not my dad mother brother or sister or friends. Think only of my needs and want. In love ❤️ only way too win

MrJMM · Answer

Social Media, men encourage other men to be more “masculine” by acting like “Be the alpha, not the beta”, who's better in bed, some think hitting on women all the time is not being a player, not asking for consent makes the men “more dominant and more masculine ”, not understanding emotions, just wanting hookups, trying to compete with other men who's the better looking or they have bigger dicks, muscles, etc. There are a lot of variables.

1GoldTwins · Answer

Maybe you're looking or talking to the wrong people. I found some decent men. They're not hard to find, you just need to know where to look and how to represent yourself. Sometimes what we do will attract certain men, and those can be indecent.

Anonymous · Answer

Easy. Women only look for players, douchebags, and assholes and ignore guys who are not.

If you see a guy who you think is sexy because he is an asshole or acts like a thug or arrogant prick... he is a player.
If you see a guy who isn’t an aggressive pile of shit, who isn’t coming at you and trying to get with you... he is likely the guy who will be a decent man... but you will likely not find him attractive.

LazerBean · Answer

Looking in the wrong places and doing things that repel decent men is usually the problem.

sheikalana · Answer

Trust me is not hard. You just need to change your mindset. There are lots of good men out there but because we're so conditioned to think that men are trash we sometimes cannot see beyond that.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

What do you do to look for them? I have no problem coming across them. But maybe our opinion on a decent man is different, we like what we like. What is a decent man for you?

Jadeli · Answer

According to the experiences of the women that surround me, it is. The man is either abusive. A free loader or a gold digger.
But decent men exist in the world it's just that women fail to recognise them or rather acknowledge them

Anonymous · Answer

If your talking personality, I agree.

If your talking looks, maybe because they are too attractive for you.

Many simps worship girls these days, and make girls delusional. I hate simps and stuck up girls.

Be girlfriend material thats all i can say.

IJhonnyI · Answer

Same way it's hard to find a decent women, women attract bad dudes, dudes attract bad women, simple as that

Shamalien · Answer

Men aren’t going to put in effort for a girl with no self respect. Ever hooked up with one of these players? Ya were they hot? Hope you enjoyed it because us men do a lot better alone than you ladies do in old age

woman_2004 · Answer

You attract what you are or who you surround yourself with. It’s that simple.

exitseven · Answer

There are not many left. Maybe the product of public education/

Sour-rose · Answer

Because we gettin' on their nerves. And I don't blame them.

Birdlegs · Answer

I guarantee the average man isn’t a player😭 it sounds like you’re finding players not some random decent guy

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Probably because you are vague. What counts as a decent man to you? What kind of person are you?  In what ways have you put yourself out there?

one1wild00 · Answer

Sounds like you are on the opposite side of the coin from me, I'm looking for a decent gal, but a decent gal with a very high sex drive while still knowing how to be prim and proper in public and over the top sexual in private.

Tiffany_VG · Answer

maybe you look for them the same way/same place, switch up how you meet guys and you'll find one.

TenderFantasy · Answer

Ever heard that men mature later? Unfortunately, that may not be just a myth/lie.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Because your field of vision is too narrow. It's like you're looking through a rifle scope.

SiberFox · Answer

You choose what kind of guy you go out with. Also, are you a decent woman? Can't ask for a good mate if you aren't one.

Andres77 · Answer

For the same reason you can't find a good woman. We're human and we're not perfect and many of us are broken but some people are just not good people to begin with.

ronaldo75 · Answer

Because today's women are broken and damaged. The "good men" and "decent men" are getting snatched up fast by women who know how to act. The rest of you get the left overs, the players and the assholes.

Anonymous · Answer

Well I don't know what your problem is but I find there are plenty of decent men in my life.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

You're not looking in the right places! None of you are! I've been here alone for a LONG time and I'm not that hard to find!

England4eva · Answer

I’m with you on this. I keep meeting low effort men

Truthatanycost · Answer

It's difficult to find what you aren't attracted to...

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

It may be hard for you because you aren’t looking in the right places.

Gent207 · Answer

There plenty of good men in the world. But the consistent ones have gone into hiding or are married.

Whatever2929292 · Answer

The same reason it is hard to find decent women I suppose... Good people shortage

Berethor · Answer

Hard to find decent woman as well, not enough conservative people nowadays.

jshm2 · Answer

It isn't. You just lack social skills to engage properly.

crossdressingrihno · Answer

What's your definition of "decent" because that's going to change how I answer the question

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Our society does absolutely nothing to encourage healthy displays of masculinity.

Deserter · Answer

Blame women for that. Players only exist cause women don't like honesty so men have to adapt. Where are all the non players? They didn't go out with you.

fred_durst · Answer

this is usually happened to women who only wait men to approach of course they always met players , because that is what they are good at , approaching women and give good first impression

Emerson28 · Answer

I don't subscribe to this. Maybe u aren't searching in the right places. They are lots of decent men scattered across the globe. Just ask for heavenly guidance to locate yours.

Why is it hard to find decent man nowadays?

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