Why can’t find a good man?

[Anonymous]

I’m an attractive, hardworking and ambitious 27 years old woman. I’m also a virgin by choice because I have strong values and I’m waiting for someone who truly respects and loves me and I go to church every Sunday.

Even though I try to be a good person, the men who approach me never stay.

Some only want sex, others lose interest when they realize I have self-respect and serious intentions.

Why is it that men don’t seem to appreciate a woman who is beautiful, goal-oriented, and has morals?

I want a man with good morals, good job and that values and appreciates me for who I am.

[Malemajor]

Here’s my advice from a man’s perspective on finding true love:

For men, feeling truly valued means their presence, time, and opinions are respected. Younger men often go along just for the sex, but as they mature, their hormones take a backseat, allowing their cognitive and emotional sides to emerge. This growth gives them the courage to pursue meaningful relationships—ones that require opening up their true selves, including their political, religious, and social beliefs. Real love means negotiating, compromising, and making mutual sacrifices together.

Many men don’t stick around because they’re approached by those seeking sex rather than genuine connection. To find something beyond physical attraction, a man usually needs to have experienced that already—not be obsessed with it. That’s why your best chance is with men who are recently out of relationships but not devastated—men who have genuine hobbies or life goals and aren’t dependent on a partner for happiness.

If you want to meet these men, try low-contact activities like tennis, volleyball, pickleball, running, or hiking—places where social pressure is low (Salsa might be a bit too intense for this, since you don't want to offer what men who come to salsa want!). Frequent spots like Trader Joe’s, Lowe’s, or Starbucks, and don’t be afraid to start a conversation with genuine questions.

Try taking on small projects that typically interest men—building a birdhouse, treehouse, or cabinet—and ask for their advice or help. You might be surprised how often this works; honestly, 90% of the guys I’ve dated started with me reaching out for help, real or not! 😉

[Anonymous]

It's rough out there. I'm your age and a virgin, probably for different reasons. I have only pursued women for marriage, but most of my friends don't share a similar strategy. It feels like my only realistic option is dating apps, but they are always are fruitless. Most of the women I have worked with I don't have real interest in, and the only other place I go is the gym. There really only has been one girl that really stood out to me, but it didn't work out (yet). I believe I'm worth someone's love, so I just remain hopeful and positive.

[Nikki1989]

Good men are rare. Your chances of meeting one are pretty slim.

[slatyb]

Because most men don't find sexual abstinence attractive. Your choice, but it's a minority opinion. You imagine that you are somehow more virtuous than sexually active women, and that feeling of superiority is unattractive. Also there are far more single women in church than single men, and the men that are there are generally looking for younger women.

[Malemajor]

Marriage was once sacred—balanced in duty and risk. Today, society piles the burden on men, turning love into a one-sided deal. If it had stayed pure, men would still gladly wait… just like generations before feminism hype and Instagram reels warped it for everyone!

[slatyb]

@Malemajor Once sacred? When? It was always on the women to be chaste while men had sex every chance they got. After WWII, only about 10% of people in the US were virgins at marriage, so it's never been popular.

[LuXtreme]

Would you accept a 26 year old who...

is open minded?
Studying for employment exams for job?
Muslim but respects/supports other religions? (not over-religious but still have great faith and afraid of God)
ambitious?
adventurous?

[Anonymous]

You're not talking to good men. Pretty simple. Don't feel bad. This is an epidemic among women today. There is a shortage of good men and good women alike. And when you don't talk to the good men and the good women it makes it near impossible.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

What an awful lot of words to say you are a boring and uninteresting wet blanket that expects to be coddled and catered to.

[Asker]

What makes you think so?

[ChicoFromThe305]

It might be harder to find but when you find what you are looking for you won't regret it and will be worth every step you took to get there, just keep moving forward and trust God

[Anonymous]

Men don't care about women being "hardworking" and most men will lose in interest if they aren't getting sex within the first few weeks, I wouldn't wait much longer than a month if I'm being honest.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Pray to God in faith for your man and just wait til he comes. Just be patient.

[Anonymous]

Try Christian mingle , cuz most men today who aren’t religious want sex

[DryGermanGuy]

Try a Christian dating website.

[Anonymous]

How many times are you going to post this?

[Jmmmfi4]

Shouldn't be that hard