How to ask to stay the night without sounding desperate?

[Anonymous]

Me and this guy met on a dating app about a week ago, really hit it off, exchanged numbers and we've been speaking ever since, texts phonecalls and facetime. He lives about 70 miles away so we've decided to meet in the middle for a date this Saturday (we are actually meeting only about 20 miles away from my place because he said it would be easier for me to get home, I'm taking the train and he's driving) He's booked a hotel in the city we're meeting in because we'll be drinking and he doesn't want to drink and drive. My question is - if things go well which I'm expecting them to, how would I go about asking to go back to his hotel with him without sounding desperate? 🤣 We haven't talked about sex happening on Saturday, but we have talked about sex in general and got a little NSFW a few times over the phone, just for context.

[SueShe]

Is it correct that you are in the age group 30-35 and you need such kind of advice?

I have a little doubt here about your age.

Nonetheless, asking to stay overnight will definitely sound desperate, regardless how you look at it. Why not just be open and tell him you secretly hope to fornicate and that the hotel is the perfect place for that. I do find it awkward that people always need to come up with phony excuses and cannot be honest enough.

In your case, you could erroneously give a fake departure time of your last train back to your city. That is, you give a departure time 30 minutes later than it actually is. He will probably take you to the station and you "realize" that you have no more train connection till the next day.

[Asker]

No I'm younger I just couldn't be bothered to correct once I'd scrolled too far.

I'd rather not give a phony excuse or lie about missing a train, I want to be honest but I don't want to sound like I just want sex

[SueShe]

What is your true motive to want to stay? Is it that you secretly hope to be able to copulate with him?

If that is your true motive to join him, then don't look for reasons. Do you honestly think for one second that he did book a hotel room because he believes he will be intoxicated? Of course not. He is probably thinking exactly the same as you do.

"How can I get into her pants without sounding desperate" and that is exactly the reason he booked a room.

[slatyb]

How hard is this? "I want to see your hotel room." Unless he's completely clueless he'll know what that means.

[slatyb]

Less demanding: "Can I see your hotel room?"

[Avicenna]

He’ll be happy if you suggest it. You won’t sound desperate. Guys don’t turn down something like that.

[Guy13]

No man will perceive you in desperation if you suggest spending quiet and quality time together.

[Wise4myage]

If it feels right, then why not?

[Asker]

Yeah I'm saying I want to if it's going well but how would I say that to the guy? He seems like the type who wouldn't just outright ask

[Wise4myage]

He got a room in a hotel, so just ask if you can come see his room. That should give him a hint.

[Asker]

Doesn't that sound really obvious though? 🤣

[Wise4myage]

Well yeah, lol.