Long Distance Texting Relationship After Amazing One Night Stand, Now Moving to Same City

[Anonymous]

Hey guys! I could really use your advice.. So I met this guy through friends of friends about 10 months ago right before I was moving to a different city. We had a crazy physical/sexual connection - I never sleep with guys unless I'm actually dating them but there was something about him that was my type to a T and I felt like I could trust him because of mutual close friends. The night before I moved we ended up having mind blowing sex after hanging out a few times with friends and we entered a texting relationship - almost every single day throughout the day texting - that turned into a lot of sexting, and sending pictures to one another for about 8-9 months as we grew closer and began trusting each other more. He's now moving across the country to the same city as me in a week and tells me how excited he is to be there and to finally hang out with me, but I can't tell if he wants to actually date me. He's sent mixed signals, as have I, but one day he's telling me he wants a girlfriend, wants me to stay with him for a weekend to have real time to hang out even if we don't hook up (because I've mentioned to him that I don't feel like I'd be willing to jump right into that), but then also tells me he's picky/looking for the perfect girl when I ask him what he wants- and I can tell he is very much looking to find the model/bombshell type to end up with. He tells me how sexy I am all the time with pics I send and we clearly had an attraction first time we met - but I actually think this guy might expect to marry a model - which is super lame and superficial in my opinion, but perhaps I misunderstood the context. Because he's mentioned before "Seeing where things go once he gets here" it makes me wonder does he just want to have sex with me and see if he actually wants to date me upon getting here- or does he just want to have sex with me because his texts/sexts are usually so sexually based - not as much asking me deep questions about who I am as a person and nothing serious at all. I'm a smart girl and my gut is telling me I shouldn't have to ask these questions - usually if you feel a guy is only interested in sex than that's the case - but I also don't want to write him off before he gets here out of fear of getting hurt (Because I'd definitely want to try dating him) if he really is just some gorgeous sex-feign who finds me cute/playful/and wants to have an immediate hookup upon moving. Because if so, I am NOT interested in. Please let me know what you think/ if you have any advice! Do I push off seeing him/see how willing he is to work to see me without going home with him? How do I explain not wanting anything physical once he gets here since I want him to prove his genuine interests in me - without seeming flakey after almost a year of sexting? And finally how can I get the answers I need from him without sounding way too invested? I feel close to him now, as he claims he does with me, but the text-based relationship is making it hard to tell.

[LilRedHead]

It seems like the two of you are awful at social skills. If he's moving over to where you are then he's into you. Just be careful with this guy with what he wants out of a relationship. Plus, you might want to start physically talking or skyping him more than texting. You can interpret a text however you want but you need to talk to the person vocally to better understand them. I went through a long distance relationship once over a dating site and the guy seemed to perfect. But when we started talking more verbally or just seeing each other once a month over every other month he wasn't what I expected. Just tread carefully and don't throw all of your eggs in one basket for this guy. Relationships aren't always about the physical. If you want to get to know him as how he is rather than what he is sexually then you need to start making the steps I suggested to you.