Girls, will you message first on dating sites/apps?

[Anonymous]

I stopped (or rarely) message first because most of the time, never get a response, and I figure that if a woman is interested enough or really would like to get to know me, SHE will do it. Is that true? I've had a few actually message first, but very few. I know women think this about guys (and no, not always), and I assume it's the same with you, only there are some women that actually "refuse" to, so they say. I simply think they aren't interested enough or they would.

[quaranta]

That's not always the case. For me it would be, but judging by some takes on this website, you can see some women actually expect the guy to contact them, and would rather try, indirectly, to make them contact them somehow. That could be either because of insecurity or because of an excessively traditional mindset. However you speak from age 36-45 and I think around your age women are definitely more direct than younger ones, as they have less time to lose with these indirect games. So yeah, let them contact you too.
You could keep messaging women but not putting much projection into that, just a "poke" to show your potential interest if she puts something on the table but that has to be forgotten, kind of like when spamming job applications a bit mindlessly, forgetting after a while who you applied to.
I may also suggest an app called Bumble. I don't use any dating app but someone I know uses it. She says it's an app where only women can start conversations. This encourages them to subscribe because they won't be submerged by spam like "hi how r u", but that also means, if they're there, they are prepared to be the ones who will start convos with guys they like (if they are liked back, I guess). So maybe in that context there is a bit higher chance to be contacted first.
However I dislike dating apps, I think they promote toxic dynamics and I've no idea how healthy this Bumble is. You can give it a try.

[1GoldTwins]

Yes I do, if I'm interested in someone I must make it known, right?

[boredgal]

if I was the one that swiped right or liked their profile yes I'd message first.