Came off too strong and she ghosted me, but still has me on social media?

[Anonymous]

Hello, so this girl and I have known each other for 10 years and we’ve been friends with benefits for the past 3 years (on and off). Recently we were in a good part of our “fwbship?”, and she brought up to me for the first time how she would eventually want to be exclusive with me, I agreed that I would want to be exclusive as well. Two days after that talk, she invited me to an event with her family, it went very well and she was very affectionate towards me, even in front of her family. The night after that, she called me and asked how my day was and that was it, typically she’d stay on the phone all night, roughly an hour or more. We got off the phone after 2-3 minutes, it was 9pm and usually we go to bed around 1am, so I got insecure about that, (why did she hang up so early? Is she talking to another guy? Etc) and so I called her back asking if we were exclusively hooking up (I know, I fucked up there) and she basically said no and said we should be honest and get tested before we hook up. I got butthurt and emotional about it and made an ass out of myself. I thought she wanted exclusivity. I then said we should take a break to see how we feel later on (stupid now that I think about it) and asked what she thought about it, she said had a long pause and said “can I have time to think about it?” I said yes and she ended the call with “thanks, I appreciate it…”

the next day, I realized the stupid shit I said and I called her twice 5 hours apart and no answer or call back, I wanted to go apologize about the night before. After the whole day passed, still nothing, I got weak again and text her saying “I guess we aren’t going to talk anymore. sorry for how things turned out, take care of yourself.” And I still haven’t heard from her, it’s been 3 days.

I know what I did was fucking stupid and I was just being emotional. She still has me on social media and is usually watches my stories within The first 30 minutes after posting them?

Did I complete fuck this up?

[HollyK21]

I think you need to take a step back and commit to giving her the space you suggested. From what I read, it’s just a whirlwind of emotions on your end, from questioning the initial phone call ending at 9pm, to suggesting space, then calling twice only to send that goodbye text. All of this without much response from her. It’s cool that you realized your faults, now stop beating yourself up about it, find a distraction and wait for her to come around. If she doesn’t, then she just doesn’t and you need to accept it. I’m not sure if you’ve heard from her since posting this. But if not then in the meantime, maybe you should address your insecurities and work on them, so they don’t pop up how they did, even if its not with her in the future, with someone else.

[Asker]

I appreciate your reply, yeah I still haven’t heard from her yet. I just regret the way I reacted but trying to move forward and accept the situation. I’m just hoping her “ghosting” is just her taking my suggestion very seriously regardless on what I might have to say.

[HollyK21]

I hear you. Just remember nobody on this earth is without fault or flaw, and we will all have a situation at least once in our lives where we really drop the ball and regret the mistake. But you can’t live in what you did wrong, because that unhelpful and counterproductive. You have to learn from it, figure out if there’s a past trauma (like cheating, a bad breakup, etc) or what exactly triggers these feelings you get so that you heal and move forward. Unfortunately not everyone we encounter is meant to be anything more a lesson, so if she doesn’t come back, then that’s how it was supposed to go. You just forgive yourself for this, and do better next time.

[devilish-cutie]

I dont understand your story, if you both decided to be exclusive, how then she said when you asked her again about being exclusively hooking up she said no? Like wasn't it already established that you were and even initiated by her? Makes no sense. Unless she changed her mind? Weird. Also I dont see you done anything that much wrong. You did all you could so dont beg now. I think ghosting is a horrible thing to do and it should make you realize even if you were in relationship with her she would do that to you again, that shows complete disrespect and immaturity. I think you should move on, stop checking on her has she seen your story and such crap. The ball is in her court, she should contact you, but dont wait or expect it, focus on your life.

[Asker]

Exactly, that’s why I was so confused. She changed her mind I guess. Thank you.

[Guy13]

If you want this woman, I would start like this: Look, I'm sorry... hear me out please. I like you obviously as we click...

[Guy13]

I am not very good in the relationship department but I have fallen for you the longer I have known you. I am hoping that we can walk through this together... bring flowers, soft eyes, voice, and open body. Good luck !!

[icetome]

leave her