Is it ever okay for a woman to ask a guy out on a date?

Question

DoctorSex · Accepted Answer

I believe women who don't practice the art of charm which is wholly linked to asking a man out, are losing out on a major party of human development.

Far too many women wait for men to approach them, their excuse being, "it's more traditional".

Traditionally, parents/grandparents would matchmake, relationships were for the most part arranged or had huge arrange pressures. Even till this day women will often introduce their friends to their boyfriends friends. These are all mutations of the arranged relationship tradition. Arranged marriages are still the norm for a large section of the human populous. India, a population of 1 billion, still practises arranged marriages. The national divorce rate in India is under 1%.

Let that sink in.

The idea that it's a man's job to approach because of tradition, is a gross distortion of human history.

What I've noticed, and I hope those women who wait on their hands for the right man realise, is that these "come get me" women tend to be the ones who finish last. By that I mean, they tend to be the last ones to reach their happy ever after.

It seems to me that the "come get me" girls, tend to play power game dynamics more than the "I'll approach girls" who exercise power in a conversational dance. By this I mean, the "come get me" girls in my experience, have a personality type that is strictly one dimension. The only cards they're able to play is the game of romance from the interview dynamic... "well you want this job as my boyfriend, so here's your interview, you better grovel, and if you're lucky I'll give you a chance" position. It's always from a perch position looking down.

An African proverb goes something like this, "the bird that flies up on the ant hill, does not realise that it is still on the ground."

This is opposed to the, "I'll approach" girl, who has more of a, "how do I figure out how to get this person to love me", which takes more nuance, more skill, more personality, and the guy genuinely feels more loved.

Kind regards,

DoctorSex

Smoothing · Accepted Answer

Yes, why not? Women have desires just like men do. I don't see what the big deal is if a woman asks a guy out. I have had all the arguments, yardiyadaya. As much as I agree that men should ask women out, I believe that the argument that women shouldn't ask a guy out holds no basis except it only benefits men by allowing th to choose the women they want. A woman will miss out on a guy they like simply because of a male invented rule.

Compatibility works out best when both women and men are aloud to make intended choices.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Of course it is ok. Though, unfortunately it is so rare than many men seem to say yes because they are flattered, or maybe feel bad about rejecting, not because they have a real interest in going on a date with the woman who ask. At least that is my experience, like when I stopped asking out on a date for the second/third one, then the man at least did not care enough to start taking some initiative.

Pinay_ako · Accepted Answer

Why the hell not?

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Sure. Do you know any of these assertive girls who "have a thing" for older men?

BullShark · Answer

I'll give you a better one. Why is it NOT okay for a woman to ask a guy out on a date?

If you like the guy, go the extra mile and ask him out. Chances are, he most probably likes you too. Fantasizing about your crush but not following up on it and expecting him to magically pop up on your doorstep is such a cliche.

NathanDavis · Answer

no is not...

every single time a woman asked me out, I gave her the same answer

" how dare you, you woman... learn your place, it is not for you to just ask me out, you get asked out by me, not the other way around... now go, leave and think of what you've just done very wrong, shaking my head, when will you all learn... "

Autember · Answer

Of course it's fine. In what world would this be an issue? If you like someone, tell them. Why waste the opportunity.

Lionman95 · Answer

I think it´s perfectly fine it´s just less common because the obstacles are for women higher since they learn from their parents that they should wait for the right guy.

What often gets missed is in the whole discussion that women could iniate a contact without making it an official date. So she could start things of without asking him out that could take away some hinderance for her.

yourpalval · Answer

I do that shit allllll the time I get rejected a lot because a bunch of guys feel emasculated by it

BadRepresentative · Answer

I wouldn't be able to because I can barely recognize my own emotions nor do I have the confidence to admit them to someone, but I think it's okay for girls in general.

ethanallen · Answer

If a woman wants to get laid, she can ask a guy out on a date but she shouldn't ask if she wants a relationship. If a woman asks a guy with the intention of starting a relationship, she is shooting herself in the foot. Guys know that a woman who asks is going to be controlling and try to keep him from doing what he wants.

Anno2 · Answer

Tried to turn the tables so made eye contact and smiled at them, expecting them to do all the work. They giggled and smiled way more but didn't ask me out.

Kinda amazing how far they'll go without saying it. Like touching my butt or making deep eye contact for a minute.

RobT312 · Answer

Yeah why not, it’s kinda sexy. I have had girlfriends hint but they never asked me out. I’d always have to do the asking so was never lucky enough to experience it

BeachMe · Answer

I never have …. But in the right situation it might be ok. I would go for lunch or coffee and make it more casual and not seem so much like a date though

ROBOH70 · Answer

Yeah. Why not?  I have been asked out a lot. One Christmas morning, a beautiful Spanish lady asked me to marry her. I did not think it was a role reversal or inappropriate.

Anonymous · Answer

It's more than okay, it's the 21st century! Lol Regardless of the gender, anyone can ask anyone out :))

EmmaMary · Answer

Just why the hell shouldn't it be? This is after all the 21st century.

AviatorTom · Answer

No, it's not OK, it's PREFERRED. That way, the guy knows she likes him and that they'll be doing something that she enjoys.

daph_neo · Answer

Society taught everyone that a man should only be doing that, but I completely disagree with that. It honestly comes down to who is more comfortable and confident to do so, at the end of the day.

BurntKeyboard · Answer

Yes, especially if he's the type who's unlikely to ask you out even if he likes you. It sucks that people put you down for your love life, but then do the same once you try to do something about it. And if you don't, they say you're not trying hard enough. It's so stupid.

mermaidcancermoon · Answer

Yes but it won't be me because i prefer assertive men.

Avicenna · Answer

It's always OK, assuming they're both single adults.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

Any time that’s appropriate for a man to ask a woman out is also appropriate for a woman to ask a man out, for sure. Now it seems it may be more appropriate for women to ask men at any given time, as a rule.

dustybiker · Answer

No. Bad idea. Then some people might end up happy.

Kazekiba · Answer

Absolutely. Women would be happier if theyd initiate instead of expecting a cheap imitation of a movie romance.

Ask him out. Suggest dates you want. If you're waiting for him to pop the question, buy the ring yourself. Or skip the rings entirely and come up with your own symbol of the love you share. If he says no, he wasn't going to ask you anyway. If he was too nervous to ask, you're doing both of you a massive favor.

YollyM · Answer

A lot of people think that it's okay which I respect. But personally I believe that a man is most likely to hold you at a higher place when he believes that he was the initiator of the relationship, the one who worked hard to get you🤷

RavVid · Answer

I'd rather she didn't.  Not necessarily going to be a no-no if she does but I'd prefer to be technically the one to ask even though she has been giving openings I could drive a Mak truck through.

honeylover21 · Answer

I think it's too forward I would ask a guy on a date there's no way , women are the prise

USLegionary · Answer

Yes. Though women do not like to be rejected. Had a girl ask me out one time, when I turned her down she slapped me, threw a drink over me then threw the glass at me.

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

It’s not agents any rules when it comes to The BRO CODE however I think it should be written in The HOE CODE that woman are allowed to ask guys out on a date.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

Er why is it a question? it’s okay for either person to ask the other out on a date. we do not live in the 6th Century.

CA4444 · Answer

I quite like it, I would expect the man to do it but as a plot twist I may do it too, to surprise him

Agent_Elflord · Answer

Yes, I’d prefer it that way honestly. I don’t want to accidentally misread a situation and assume a woman is into me when she isn’t and try to ask her out, I’d rather them directly tell me they are so that there’s no room for error on my part.

Surely · Answer

It feels nice to be desirable enough to have someone take an interest in getting to know you.

yucychan · Answer

In this modern time, I would definitely say yes. If you really like the guy, why not ask him out.

John1972 · Answer

In my home town they still have a law on record that makes it illegal for a woman to call a man and ask him out on a date.

Cutea · Answer

yes if we have been waiting for too long with him, I'll be suggesting to accompany me where I will be going

LimitedBenefits101 · Answer

Most women roughly around 93% are scared to ask men out because of rejection.

UniquelyBasic · Answer

Yes, as I feel they will have more successful responses but for some reason they are still expecting the man to do the approaching, which is fine.

MikeInHawaii · Answer

It beats the hell out of going to your high school reunion, finding out one of the hottest girls in the school had the hots for you and you didn’t know!

NovaCourier · Answer

Um... yes...  What kind of a question is this?

RACSKC0B · Answer

You do know it's 2022, right? Why wouldn't it be OK?

Haha456 · Answer

just wondering if you even have a job. asking all these useless questions

1GoldTwins · Answer

Why would it not be okay? Makes it easier for you guys too, why would it not be okay :p

Adam1978 · Answer

It's always okay as long as she can take a rejection.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

It sure is!! Especially today when guys are too scared to ask because she might have him arrested

Sixgunsound · Answer

I don’t see why not? It would certainly avoid a lot of confusion and or harassment charges.

slatyb · Answer

Of course, it’s always ok. Someone has to ask or nothing will happen.

Grubhub · Answer

Sure I’ve been approached by a number of women, mostly Latin. Last time was at the gym. Most women love big muscular tall men, trust me. Brown bunnies, white bunnies black bunnies, etc

Shy_Steve · Answer

Of course it is, Just most Girls think it isn't or comes across as Desperate or Unattractive, But usually it's a big turn on for most Guys even if it's just an average looking Girl.

LivingExample · Answer

Yes if it is someone you are interested in. He may not know you are interested and asking him out will let him know. Ask once, but Never chase after anyone!

exitseven · Answer

Yes, I was very shy and I appreciated a little push.

Fireguy17 · Answer

It sure is, anytime she wants to. I wouldn't have an issue with it at all.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

They all said yes so it's got to be okay.

HippieVeganJewslim · Answer

If a woman never asks the guy of her dreams out, she is non-proactive. Being proactive is Habit 1 of Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.

Yeetboi__ · Answer

If a specific women can sit aside her pride and ego, absolutely. 7 times out of 10 a man will say yes, but she better pay if so.

Fromdusktilldawn · Answer

If I hear or if you hear someone say "Girls shouldn't ask out guys", go to him and give him a good slap in the face

Anonymous · Answer

Me and tons of people believe it should be more socially acceptable but a part of me doubts at and I don't see it ever becoming more common at least I just doubt it

Freyke · Answer

Lol of course. Imagine a woman getting apprehended for making the first move.

ChattyGuy43 · Answer

I can't see anything wrong with that at all.

zagor · Answer

You should be asking is it ever NOT OK for a woman to ask a guy out.

KostasKouvalis · Answer

Absolutely. As a matter of fact, I really wish they would. Some men are shy.

mh170209 · Answer

I honestly prefer that with how insecure I am it's almost impossible for me to talk to girls so that's how most of my relationships start

Is it ever okay for a woman to ask a guy out on a date?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Is it ok if the girl asks the guy out for a date?

Is it ever okay for a woman to ask a guy out on a date?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Is it ok if the girl asks the guy out for a date?

We're glad to see you liked this post.