To all the shy 🙈 ones and introverts: how do you want to be approached and how do you react when someone makes a move on you?

Question

CaptainOverthink · Accepted Answer

It's hard to say exactly how would be the best approach. In a way recieving a flirty eye before an aporoach might prepair some and reduve the shock but on the other hand some conversations shouldn't be prepaired as we're prone to overthink which hinders us from achieving 'flow'.

A more manipulative way that might be better would be to use your friends to merge your group with his/her group of friends and try to jump in on their conversations or ask their friends about them (bringing attention to them through their friends might help). Then make a move.

I'm alway trying to improve from my social issues so I might just want to be met halfway or more conversationally. So if it dries up, just put me on a path, start a subject where conversation can gravitate.

But I should add, I don't identify as an introvert. Honestly I'm not entierly on board with placing myself on either side of that spectrum becsuse it would allow be to make excuses and the intro/extro- stuff is not set in stone in my opinion, it's about being so used to conversation that it won't be a burden or require much effort. Social- skill vs nature.
But that's another matter.
What I mean though is that while I may seem intro in certain situations it has more to do with overthinking and reining in one's self, to achieve flow.

- Identifying what level of conversation the person want's to talk on is crucial. Sometimes deeper topics works better though it'll ease the tension working in humor there too.
- Quickly try to gague how much between the lines you can be could be worth taking note of.

MrJMM · Accepted Answer

Texting exists for a reason. - Introvert

Rania05 · Accepted Answer

I'm an introvert with social anxiety but I'm getting better because I try to actively contact others, I wouldn't make them wait if someone confess to me I would take a night to react properly after considering things.

I'm a dreamer but because I don't want to hurt others or make my life a mess so I put my fantasies and idealistic ideas when I know I maybe has to.

If someone say they like me as person, I would show the pleased shy reaction or giggle playfully after they shut up because of my silence with a thank you.

HelloImGoodThanks · Accepted Answer

A lot of overthinking and negativity would be happening in my head wondering and questioning if the guy is playing games or messing me around as a big joke

ChiTown33 · Answer

I don't need to be approached. I mean if she WANTS to do the approaching that's fine i guess. All I ask is she be genuine. I'll approach if I really think she's something special (but that's rare as i'm almost always wrong). Women like to say a man who doesn't approach is scared. And that's an oversimplification. I fear nothing and nobody. But it's like touching a hot stove. Why would you keep touching a hot stove and get burned if there is no benefit? That's not fear! That's common sense.

The last woman I had interest in brought a date to a party and pursued me there. I thought it was both disrespectful to both me and her date. She told me in her actions that what she thought and felt superceded everyone else. I really don't want to be with a partner who thinks that way. She was fresh out of a divorce to a guy that was not a good man. And I felt/feel bad for her in that aspect. I would have liked nothing better than to have given her a hug and said she deserves better. But I couldn't because I still have to protect me. In my opinion she wasn't ready for a relationship (neither was I at the time if I'm being real honest). But that's the point I wasn't interested in being her rebound, or practice. She's since met a guy. I don't know him but she seems to be happy, and I'm happy for her.

My take on dating, on relationships is this. I'm in no hurry. If the right woman is out there for me she'll understand where I'm coming from. She'll accept both the bad with the good. And there won't be such a rush. Because we're both in it for the long haul.

Sorry, this response was probably too wordy. Lol

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

Introversion is not akin to shyness or social anxiety. As an introvert, HOW i’m approached matters less than WHEN i’m approached. If i’m already at my limit, i’m not going to be as approachable as when i’ve decompressed and refreshed.
The most important thing to know about getting to know an introvert is you DO NOT get to determine how often, when and how you connect. His or her need to decompress will take priority if they know what’s good for them. If you’re very interested, you need to respect that. Introverts are great company when we’re energized, but lousy company when we’re drained. So don’t be in a hurry to expose yourself to that side of them, especially if you’re sensitive.

Lionman95 · Answer

I would say in a rather causual not in a flirty way. Make it as honest and "normal" as possible because being shy and introvert makes me also being an overthinker so if there are many compliments involved in it or the language used is very flirty it makes me get suspicious. But instead make it personal, maybe involve writing a letter or talk about the way we´ve gone until that.

Besides that I woudn´t like if it came out of the blue but instead prepare it by showing interest in me through text or something small deed.

Also prefer rather private situations over public. I wouldn´t like a public way of asking me out because I´m uncomfortable in big groups.

YHL6965 · Answer

Personally, I want to engage with the person in a more chill, no pressure way first like just getting to know each other, talking about various stuff, to not have the pressure of "she wants me, I need to look good" or being caught in a non-flirty mood like "Who the hell is this person flirting out of nowhere, I don't know her". I like casual interactions at first that gradually get more personal, give more insight about the person then the teasing and flirting can start. It's even made easier if we're initially in a group and the focus is not on me per se but we can still kind of "gauge each other" without necessarily interacting directly.

RosieMelts · Answer

The meme is just hilarious 🤣 I’m not insecure or shy it’s just when they tell me I’m like- “oh no I cannot provide you with all the essential oils you need to thrive and live your best Gucci gang life! Away with me!” 😂😭 and then friends is like- oh okay “pass me the Doritos” as I chuck the cheetoes at their head in exchange. #WeVibin’ lol

so yea I don't know not really shy I just overthink ig. I raise dating to that supreme-sacred level ✌️🥲

NYlatefun · Answer

I’d say that introvert and shy are two different things. An introvert can be very self confident but just not interested in an active way of socializing nor in big groups of people. A shy person can be outgoing/extroverted but insecure. You can’t treat them the same way.

ObscuredBeyond · Answer

Easygoing conversation a few times in public, discuss issues happening in the world. Share social contact info. Add online. Scan each other's profiles. Leads to new things to talk about, and a preview of where to tread lightly.

That way, dating doesn't have to feel like a game of Minesweeper.

Blackcosmo · Answer

I want a guy to approach me and ask me out casually and make it brief. My delicate heart can't take all the nerves!

I'll be shocked and so nervous I bet my knees will feel like buckling if I'm interested. If I'm not interested I'll feel guilty and nervous but politely decline.

Little_Bumblebee · Answer

Honestly, slowly. Genuinely, and not dick first.

I like to get comfortable with people first, get to know them, and maybe have a semi-deep conversation to get to know them and see where they stand, what kind of person they are, and such.

I get turned off and feel like running if a guy's too fast and eager

Andres77 · Answer

If someone were to tell me that directly I'd wonder if it was a trap. I'd hope I wasn't expected to respond immediately in kind. If given time to process things could slowly pick up speed. My emotions are like a freight train. Hard to get moving but also hard to stop once they've picked up speed.

Danny_dan92 · Answer

I’m a blend of the two.

I don’t go and seek conversation but if someone approaches me I can hold a conversation.

That being said if I like her and she approaches me I might be shy at first but I’ll prefer it go that way than me going up to her

Still-alive · Answer

Well as a former introvert now ambivert i got approached once by a girl and we dated. The way she did it was about perfect. She just walked up to me and asked for my number then later that night agreed to meet for a date. It was a shocker for me as a guy and definitely an ego boost too.

Midgetmcwidget · Answer

Sometimes I panic as I feel like I’m being ambushed. Personally maybe loiter and look available so I can also be available. Treat me the same way you would approach a horse

MrPickles13 · Answer

I like it when people approach me. As I'm very shy but also have issues with anxiety and sensory overload. So it makes things easier for me that way. But honestly it's so limited very few approach me. And never anyone who was interested in more than being a friend.

beebella · Answer

I'd prefer if they act like they're not hitting on me. Lmao

Quidthonian · Answer

Gently, and responsibly. I need to be "in the mood" to be approached. You, as the extrovert, need to judge my reaction and take it from there.

Light909090 · Answer

I don’t want to be approached
I’m not amazed that Your a Human.
Im not going Give you the attention you want. And I don’t care that you exist. Wouldn’t bother me if you didn’t exist. and if I’m approached I won’t Give much of a Reaction.
The reaction you’ll get his me moving my eyes looking then going back to doing what I Was Originally doing.

LazerBean · Answer

I'm an introvert but not shy. I like people to be polite, and not have to decipher what people are actually trying to say.

YollyM · Answer

Let me break it down😅

Guy: Excuse me, Hello
Me: Hi
Guy: I had seen you around the corner and you
caught my attention I was wondering if I
could get your number?
Me: No
(Guy turns like a soldier without asking me "why" because no means no)

OR

Guy: ... could get your number?
Me: sure, it's 0...
Guy: Thank you I'll call you soon.

Very simple👌

serendipity_006 · Answer

BE DIRECT PLSSS. istg if one more person comes up to me and initiates an endless conversation of awkward small talk, i will kill myself 😁 but seriously, if you have something to say, say it. and please exclude all of the unnecessary banter jammed into the conversation.

"hey," "hi," "how are you?," "meh," "yeah, me too," ...∞ vs "hey i think ur really cute, can i get your number?" "sure :) it's..."

Razp_Sorbet · Answer

I don't want to be approached. Therefore you can leave me the fuck alone and I will ignore you 😊

slatyb · Answer

When I was a shy twenty-something, it wouldn't have mattered how someone approached me. I would have been thrilled. I might or might not have been attracted, but there was no wrong way to approach me.

Ευδεμονια · Answer

I sincerely don’t think there’s a way to approach me without making me melting like snow under the sun because of embarrassment.

VanguardTitan · Answer

I'd rather they don't approach me at all. Their time would be better spent on somebody actually worth it.

RavVid · Answer

How do you feel insecure if a hot girl/guy is making moves on you?

Fryday_Knight · Answer

I'm more of an introvert you could say. I. Hate. Small talk. Get to the point and you'll get a quick and clear reaction back. Choose small talk and I'll send that introvert meme.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Very directly but in a classy way, coz I'm both shy and dense.

JosyJosy · Answer

What zolly said, but also calm. I don't like it when someone's loud

Anonymous · Answer

I'm asshole. I'm fuckboy.  Should I not comment on this intelligent post? 😜

Twalli · Answer

As a shy person, I like it when people approach me. It is a lot easier to be in a conversation when someone else starts it.

scooogy · Answer

easy 😏

Fromdusktilldawn · Answer

Being approached alone, not invaded by 5 people. Starting a chill conversation, not too pushy

Shy_Steve · Answer

Usually I would be intimidated and I wouldn't know how to react because it never happens.

Jltakk · Answer

If someone makes a move, I'll be shocked and thank them for wasting their time with me.

Fuentes · Answer

They can tell me they just wanna smash lol

WhiteBoyChill · Answer

I don’t want women approaching me. I will approach them if I see it fit

jellybean91 · Answer

I personally prefer people to simply say that they are interested and then ask for number.

Thecubs22 · Answer

Just basically be yourself. Where a girl makes the first move, I just go with the flow.

innerman · Answer

Interesting question, If we dnt meet at a party or club when am high, you contact a friend to contact a friend to contact a friend of mine, 😂

Pkira525 · Answer

Any excuse to intimidate trump and get him to drop out.

MCheetah · Answer

Anything is fine by me.

landingout2 · Answer

I don't want to be approached

Ezra_lila · Answer

Smirk and walk away

Mcheal_arson · Answer

Just be normal, people would understand

Zolly99999 · Answer

I figure be polite , and honest.

ccampbell1 · Answer

just come up to me and say hi

jimmy2 · Answer

Just be yourself and not to be pushy

magiusX26 · Answer

just dont in my case

To all the shy 🙈 ones and introverts: how do you want to be approached and how do you react when someone makes a move on you?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

To all the shy 🙈 ones and introverts: how do you want to be approached and how do you react when someone makes a move on you?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.