To all the shy 🙈 ones and introverts: how do you want to be approached and how do you react when someone makes a move on you?

[Pinay_ako]

[CaptainOverthink]

It's hard to say exactly how would be the best approach. In a way recieving a flirty eye before an aporoach might prepair some and reduve the shock but on the other hand some conversations shouldn't be prepaired as we're prone to overthink which hinders us from achieving 'flow'.

A more manipulative way that might be better would be to use your friends to merge your group with his/her group of friends and try to jump in on their conversations or ask their friends about them (bringing attention to them through their friends might help). Then make a move.

I'm alway trying to improve from my social issues so I might just want to be met halfway or more conversationally. So if it dries up, just put me on a path, start a subject where conversation can gravitate.

But I should add, I don't identify as an introvert. Honestly I'm not entierly on board with placing myself on either side of that spectrum becsuse it would allow be to make excuses and the intro/extro- stuff is not set in stone in my opinion, it's about being so used to conversation that it won't be a burden or require much effort. Social- skill vs nature.
But that's another matter.
What I mean though is that while I may seem intro in certain situations it has more to do with overthinking and reining in one's self, to achieve flow.

- Identifying what level of conversation the person want's to talk on is crucial. Sometimes deeper topics works better though it'll ease the tension working in humor there too.
- Quickly try to gague how much between the lines you can be could be worth taking note of.

[MrJMM]

Texting exists for a reason. - Introvert

[Rania05]

I'm an introvert with social anxiety but I'm getting better because I try to actively contact others, I wouldn't make them wait if someone confess to me I would take a night to react properly after considering things.

I'm a dreamer but because I don't want to hurt others or make my life a mess so I put my fantasies and idealistic ideas when I know I maybe has to.

If someone say they like me as person, I would show the pleased shy reaction or giggle playfully after they shut up because of my silence with a thank you.

[HelloImGoodThanks]

A lot of overthinking and negativity would be happening in my head wondering and questioning if the guy is playing games or messing me around as a big joke

[Pinay_ako]

So what if he’s for real?

[ChiTown33]

I don't need to be approached. I mean if she WANTS to do the approaching that's fine i guess. All I ask is she be genuine. I'll approach if I really think she's something special (but that's rare as i'm almost always wrong). Women like to say a man who doesn't approach is scared. And that's an oversimplification. I fear nothing and nobody. But it's like touching a hot stove. Why would you keep touching a hot stove and get burned if there is no benefit? That's not fear! That's common sense.

The last woman I had interest in brought a date to a party and pursued me there. I thought it was both disrespectful to both me and her date. She told me in her actions that what she thought and felt superceded everyone else. I really don't want to be with a partner who thinks that way. She was fresh out of a divorce to a guy that was not a good man. And I felt/feel bad for her in that aspect. I would have liked nothing better than to have given her a hug and said she deserves better. But I couldn't because I still have to protect me. In my opinion she wasn't ready for a relationship (neither was I at the time if I'm being real honest). But that's the point I wasn't interested in being her rebound, or practice. She's since met a guy. I don't know him but she seems to be happy, and I'm happy for her.

My take on dating, on relationships is this. I'm in no hurry. If the right woman is out there for me she'll understand where I'm coming from. She'll accept both the bad with the good. And there won't be such a rush. Because we're both in it for the long haul.

Sorry, this response was probably too wordy. Lol

[Chazmatazz269]

Introversion is not akin to shyness or social anxiety. As an introvert, HOW i’m approached matters less than WHEN i’m approached. If i’m already at my limit, i’m not going to be as approachable as when i’ve decompressed and refreshed.
The most important thing to know about getting to know an introvert is you DO NOT get to determine how often, when and how you connect. His or her need to decompress will take priority if they know what’s good for them. If you’re very interested, you need to respect that. Introverts are great company when we’re energized, but lousy company when we’re drained. So don’t be in a hurry to expose yourself to that side of them, especially if you’re sensitive.

[Pinay_ako]

I know they’re not the same… that’s why I said AND not or… but how do you approach them?

[Chazmatazz269]

Again, ‘how’ is case by case, same as with anyone. ‘When’ is the more important cue for introverts. Chances are if you know a person is an introvert, you can decipher when they’re on from when they’re off. Just don’t push it when they’re off. It’s time to decompress.

[Lionman95]

I would say in a rather causual not in a flirty way. Make it as honest and "normal" as possible because being shy and introvert makes me also being an overthinker so if there are many compliments involved in it or the language used is very flirty it makes me get suspicious. But instead make it personal, maybe involve writing a letter or talk about the way we´ve gone until that.

Besides that I woudn´t like if it came out of the blue but instead prepare it by showing interest in me through text or something small deed.

Also prefer rather private situations over public. I wouldn´t like a public way of asking me out because I´m uncomfortable in big groups.

[YHL6965]

Personally, I want to engage with the person in a more chill, no pressure way first like just getting to know each other, talking about various stuff, to not have the pressure of "she wants me, I need to look good" or being caught in a non-flirty mood like "Who the hell is this person flirting out of nowhere, I don't know her". I like casual interactions at first that gradually get more personal, give more insight about the person then the teasing and flirting can start. It's even made easier if we're initially in a group and the focus is not on me per se but we can still kind of "gauge each other" without necessarily interacting directly.

[RosieMelts]

The meme is just hilarious 🤣 I’m not insecure or shy it’s just when they tell me I’m like- “oh no I cannot provide you with all the essential oils you need to thrive and live your best Gucci gang life! Away with me!” 😂😭 and then friends is like- oh okay “pass me the Doritos” as I chuck the cheetoes at their head in exchange. #WeVibin’ lol

so yea I don't know not really shy I just overthink ig. I raise dating to that supreme-sacred level ✌️🥲

[NYlatefun]

I’d say that introvert and shy are two different things. An introvert can be very self confident but just not interested in an active way of socializing nor in big groups of people. A shy person can be outgoing/extroverted but insecure. You can’t treat them the same way.

[Pinay_ako]

Yea and I didn’t say OR. I said to both. So which one are you? Or are you not?

[NYlatefun]

Ah true, I misread your question.
I’m in between intro and extrovert and I can be shy in certain situations.

[ObscuredBeyond]

Easygoing conversation a few times in public, discuss issues happening in the world. Share social contact info. Add online. Scan each other's profiles. Leads to new things to talk about, and a preview of where to tread lightly.

That way, dating doesn't have to feel like a game of Minesweeper.

[Blackcosmo]

I want a guy to approach me and ask me out casually and make it brief. My delicate heart can't take all the nerves!

I'll be shocked and so nervous I bet my knees will feel like buckling if I'm interested. If I'm not interested I'll feel guilty and nervous but politely decline.

[lucas262]

That's adorable

[Blackcosmo]

@lucas262 Lol :)

[Little_Bumblebee]

Honestly, slowly. Genuinely, and not dick first.

I like to get comfortable with people first, get to know them, and maybe have a semi-deep conversation to get to know them and see where they stand, what kind of person they are, and such.

I get turned off and feel like running if a guy's too fast and eager

[Andres77]

If someone were to tell me that directly I'd wonder if it was a trap. I'd hope I wasn't expected to respond immediately in kind. If given time to process things could slowly pick up speed. My emotions are like a freight train. Hard to get moving but also hard to stop once they've picked up speed.

[Danny_dan92]

I’m a blend of the two.


I don’t go and seek conversation but if someone approaches me I can hold a conversation.


That being said if I like her and she approaches me I might be shy at first but I’ll prefer it go that way than me going up to her

[Still-alive]

Well as a former introvert now ambivert i got approached once by a girl and we dated. The way she did it was about perfect. She just walked up to me and asked for my number then later that night agreed to meet for a date. It was a shocker for me as a guy and definitely an ego boost too.

[Midgetmcwidget]

Sometimes I panic as I feel like I’m being ambushed. Personally maybe loiter and look available so I can also be available. Treat me the same way you would approach a horse

[MrPickles13]

I like it when people approach me. As I'm very shy but also have issues with anxiety and sensory overload. So it makes things easier for me that way. But honestly it's so limited very few approach me. And never anyone who was interested in more than being a friend.

[Quidthonian]

Gently, and responsibly. I need to be "in the mood" to be approached. You, as the extrovert, need to judge my reaction and take it from there.

[Pinay_ako]

Gently? How

[beebella]

I'd prefer if they act like they're not hitting on me. Lmao

[Pinay_ako]

How tho? 🤔

[beebella]

I guess by just not being too flirtatious. 😂

[Pinay_ako]

😂 uhm so how do they ask you out then? 😂

[beebella]

They could still ask if I want to hang out or something. 🤷‍♀️😂

[Pinay_ako]

Oh there you go 😅

[Light909090]

I don’t want to be approached
I’m not amazed that Your a Human.
Im not going Give you the attention you want. And I don’t care that you exist. Wouldn’t bother me if you didn’t exist. and if I’m approached I won’t Give much of a Reaction.
The reaction you’ll get his me moving my eyes looking then going back to doing what I Was Originally doing.

[RosieMelts]

I hope this wasn’t directed at pinay ako 👐

[Pinay_ako]

@RosieMelts don’t matter to me. But thanks 😊 honey 🍯

[RosieMelts]

Wlc sis 🥰🤲 💕 ✨

[Pinay_ako]

@RosieMelts 💕 🤗

[tony_baloney]

... you okay, pal? '>.>

[Pinay_ako]

@tony_baloney who you talking to?

[Light909090]

I’m fine @tony_baloney

[tony_baloney]

But who hurt you? Lol

[Light909090]

@tony_baloney many Have Hurt me. Just yesterday I Was Water deprived my eyes were turning dark and I couldn’t see they weren’t Black and I didn’t experience The full effects of water deprivation. But I wasn’t scared I stood there knowing I Could black out or I couldn’t but I didn’t care. I stood there by the fridge I didn’t freak out I wasn’t scared I didn’t panic. After some seconds and I could see again. I thought about how easy it would be to Hit the weights and Sweat the water out of my body and I would be with my Mom they’d find my body eventually and I would be free. I wouldn’t be mortal anymore. Not going to Kill myself with water deprivation. but that’s just what happened yesterday.
I’m not afraid of death and if my eyes fully go black and I experience the full effects of water deprivation
I don’t think I will try to run to get some water as fast as possible. I think I will just stand there like I did yesterday and then eyes will black out completely and then I hope I don’t wake up. Life just isn’t worth living if Im water deprived enough to leave life. Not going to kill myself but I won’t save myself if I become full water deprived but that’s just how I felt yesterday.

[tony_baloney]

Buddy... seek help. I'm not even trying to be funny, you're clearly really depressed.. please go get the help you need, I'm begging you. And drink more water, damnit!

[RosieMelts]

@light909090 Well geez I agree with @tony_baloney drink water dude! I didn’t realize you were this bummed out. Another post you said you rather just focus on your studies but this shows you rather do nothing. I’m glad I never attacked you like I was gonna initially, but I’ve felt the similar before. On New Years I was crying had a terrible nose bleed and almost let myself bleed out to death on the floor but it eventually stopped. I was dizzy and blood was all over the floor. You don’t want to take your life because maybe you don’t believe in it like me and/ or partially you don’t want to feel any real pain in engaging death, but you know what I realized? In a moment on the floor as I got light headed- if I die there’s no coming back and there’s so many things I never got to try or did. I also didn’t know what was on the other side of death. Would I just be non existent? Would I go to hell? Would I be rebirthed as a stupid bug who flees their life from getting eaten by other bugs and birds? You’re a human- forget the mortality part. You’re a superior in the food chain and you’re conscience allows you to make choices. Strategic moves. Your body wants to do nothing but live and I can prove this to you. If you try holding your breath, your body will force you to breathe again because that’s ALL it wants to do.

[RosieMelts]

@rosiemelts It has that one desire. Your body is an ecosystem. Don’t destroy it. Your mind and soul wishes to live even if you don’t feel like it. You can let it live and do your best to do things you love so that you enjoy it. You’re not responsible for anyone’s happiness but to live a life of enjoyment because only one life was placed inside of your hands. It’s quick it’s not too long. It’s one life not 500 you’re responsible for. There will never be another person like you who walks this planet. See it to its completion. Get out there and enjoy all there is. So many places to see, foods to try, concerts to go to, animals to engage. Music to hear. Daring things to do like sky diving or bungee jumping or going on a roller coaster, and 8 billion people you can meet along the way as you do this. You can’t judge your whole life and call it bad when you only read the first page or lived out one part of it. You never know how the rest can turn out and the great part about it is you get to decide truly. You can move save up work do anything. Just enjoy all the fine fruits of life because there’s so much out there, truly. I’m sorry I spammed you and maybe this doesn’t make any sense or maybe I don’t understand your situation and I seem idiotic, but I just had to share my personal story to say I sympathize and I’m in agreement with your body I want you both to live too.

[RosieMelts]

@rosiemelts last part:

That’s why I had to remind you about ALLLLL the exotic fun tasty cool and beautiful and peaceful stuff there is to try. I’ll say like toney. Please drink some water and don’t give up. Life it tough, but we’re tougher. Remove yourself from the pressure and just enjoy it! That’s really all life should be. Having, fun resting, laughing, listening, tasting, doing. Being. Just be and take it all in. Take in a deep breath and let the fresh air soak into your skin and just take it the fuck in! Lol I’m sorry 😅 but yeah watch some good comedy/ comedians and get a good laugh in there. Get some fresh air if you need. Realize you’re not alone. There’s like ants 🐜 who don’t know what life is and they’re still trying to live. They try their hardest. People can relate a little bit more to you though, and we have so much to live for 🙏 stay strong brother 💕✨

[tony_baloney]

I actually thought you were talking to me for a second rosie. I was like "whoa, did I just hurt this womans feelings?"

Dont be so hard on Light. I've been in the exact same place before.

[RosieMelts]

@tony_baloney yeah if you read on, you’ll see it’s concern, but I’m trying to emphasize my urgency with the “geez.” I mean no harm to either of you. You, light, and pinay.

[Pinay_ako]

@RosieMelts peace ✌️ 💕

[RosieMelts]

@Pinay_ako 😊💕🙏

[Light909090]

I’m not depressed and I do my studying my life is perfect the way it is.
I get bored is all and I go to work and I’ve got almost everything I’ve ever wanted in life. Many things I don’t believe in. Like Jesus Christ for instance. Dude didn’t exist if you look at todays society. What’s sinful is what’s immoral. Bible was Written by the government to keep folks in line to create a Guilty society so less crime would happen and so life would be able to function. Without that Bible the world would be super chaotic and society just wouldn’t be able to function. I have an open mind to things and know Some things. And I won’t dismiss the idea of there being a afterlife as I don’t know if there is one or not.

I spoke with my brother He told me I’m not a atheist like I thought I was. but agnostic as I neither believe nor disbelieve in a god or some sort of religious doctrine.

[RosieMelts]

Alright so your life is perfect. That statement is kind of difficult for me alone to believe, but if you’re content and at peace, then I am happy for you. Keep doing what you’re doing as you see fit. You don’t need me to even say that ofc as you will do so anyways. I just encourage to keep up the good work, just stay hydrated? If you can? Stay on earth for a little bit longer. Long enough to try all those things you have yet to try. Up to you ofc.

Have a nice one <:)

[Light909090]

I will stay hydrated and alive as long as I am Healthy ounce I get cancer or Some painful condition I’ll be Leaving this Earth from lack of water.

[Light909090]

Hopefully that doesn’t happen I’m fine with getting old and Stuff as long as I can continue being Bipedal and don’t experience physical pain.

[RosieMelts]

Sounds like a plan! 😊 hopeful for you

[LazerBean]

I'm an introvert but not shy. I like people to be polite, and not have to decipher what people are actually trying to say.

[YollyM]

Let me break it down😅

Guy: Excuse me, Hello
Me: Hi
Guy: I had seen you around the corner and you
caught my attention I was wondering if I
could get your number?
Me: No
(Guy turns like a soldier without asking me "why" because no means no)

OR

Guy: ... could get your number?
Me: sure, it's 0...
Guy: Thank you I'll call you soon.

Very simple👌

[savagewolf22]

Me - you get me wrong,
I want to give your number to animal care organizations so they can take care of your. 😊

[YollyM]

@savagewolf22
Me: what do you mean, we escaped
the animal reserve together?😅

[slatyb]

When I was a shy twenty-something, it wouldn't have mattered how someone approached me. I would have been thrilled. I might or might not have been attracted, but there was no wrong way to approach me.