Girls, Would you continue dating someone who may not believe in gender roles per se, but has residual expectation of them from childhood influence?

[VIVANT]

Assuming you do not yourself adhere to gender roles. if you do then this question would seem unnecessary and odd 🙏🏼

This is not judgement against anyone’s preferred style of dating. And this is not about trying to change anyone. This would be someone who thinks they want a “fluid roles based on situation & competency not gender, egalitarian relationship’. As apposed to ‘hierarchal or strictly gender role based relationship’

So for example. They do not think they care about gender risks it’s not something something they say or think they are looking for but they have I become I explicably bothered if you’re a girl and you initiate a date or you are a boy and you ask her to take care of the plans.

personally I do not care who does what, I don’t want to control the situation and I do not want to be controlled. In dating like in a relationship I would want a team effort with people playing their strengths which will be unique to each person and hopefully comparable with their partner. I woke it get along with someone who disturbed if there is not behavioral segregation…

However, if someone had unconscious expectations of rigid gender roles, but did not consciously require it, I guess whether I stayed would depend on if they really were ok with things being fluid or only thought they were but deep down they wanted the gender role situation. I guess that’s take a bit of talking and some time to sort out.

I recognize certain traits may be more pronounced in each sex respectively, and I have nothing against anyone doing what they have natural feel for. I’m just not comfortable making an issue out of it and forcing anyone to perform in ways that they don’t gravitate towards naturally just to fulfill the idea that it “should” come naturally.

also I understand my example was heavily cliche’ — this is hypothetical and initiating is a fairly ubiquitous occurrence in dating so it seemed universally comprehensive & relatable. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I would continue dating

I would not continue dating

Depends on if they held onto the expectation & it intereferred with our relationship or they were able to let it go

Other

I would compromise meet them with some secured gender roles assuming they could also compromise

Updates

1 y

Ugh 😑 Its “chosen” 🤦🏻‍♀️ I wanted to delete it try again. Bc it was so unclear.

Ok. You notice a pattern where the guy is refusing to respond directly when YOU initiate some activity, followed swiftly by HIM initiating expecting you to respond. If confronted, he denies you initiating is a problem & BELIEVES IT. (to keep ot simple— he is into you exclusively, no one else)

Do you work with this, or walk on? Granted it may be narcissism, or insecurity, not sexism, hard to distinguish tbh 😬

[TransAm85]

I was a little irritated at first when I got serious w/my now husband b/c he's very old fashioned. He believes women are to be the submissive housewives. I was raised by a baby boomer single mom who taught me to be independent and take care of myself. But, we figured each other out..

[VIVANT]

I’m glad you had a happy ending 😊😊

by the way you like like the actress in that show 90210 the blond that was friends with Brenda, Kelly? Back from 2000s I think. She was also in a show where she lived with her younger sister. Pretty 😌

[TransAm85]

What? 😄 Well thank u very much! I nvr heard that before but I used to watch that show!

[VIVANT]

Haha oh good! Do you know who I’m talking about lol and I’m surprised you never heard that. It’s the very first thing I thought when I saw you, I just couldn’t place it. I knew you reminded me of her but I had to remember who she was 😂

[Jennz6]

Wow. That’s a lot!!! I am female having sex with men, and I have a girlfriend that I have sex with too, so what does that mean? I used to say that I am bi-sexual?

[Jennz6]

Okay, and I say she & her if they are wearing panties and bra and want to be a women? Today’s gender is what someone wants to be I suppose, but I still have a difficult time answering the question, sorry.

[VIVANT]

It’s ok I made it wayyyy too complicated but it’s sort of something I was trying to sort out retrospectively so very hard to put into words. And you are right, on asking about “ traditional views” I did not account for current cultural norms. I’ll fleet this when Able abs try again
Thanks! 😊

[KatherineJ]

It’s 2022, I don’t know too many people who rigidly follow all of the traditional gender role stuff.

[VIVANT]

Yeah I gotta at off tik tok they just keep popping up into my feed and it’s hard to look away — like bright light 😐

[DermalPunch]

No I wouldn't be dating anyone who would entertain any iota of this nonsense.

[VIVANT]

Straight to the point 👍🏼 😊