My boyfriend said he wished I had more experience because him being my first is stressing him out. help?

Question

He says he’s a good boyfriend and if I dated in the past and messed around with enough fuckboys I would appreciate him more and he said he wished I wasn’t a virgin because it’s a burden on him

Zolly99999 · Accepted Answer

Wow... what's wrong with him.. he should thank his lucky stars to find some like you.

Berethor · Accepted Answer

The gods send nuts to those who have no teeth, he don't appropriate your purity.

DaveJord · Answer

Wow!!! I am amazed to finally see a women post something like this. But let me tell you I totally get what he is saying and this is exactly why virgins are not desirable to me. I married a virgin at 20 and I in retrospect I often thought about if that was a my first major mistake.

So the issue here is that virgins, have no prior sexual or serious relationship experience. I mean if they are true virgins they may have dated other people and have dating experience, but relationships after sex take on a whole new level.

So virgins have all these ideas and beliefs in how things should be after sex, but they have no practical experience in how to be in a sexual relationship. So when they hit those bumps or obstacles in their relationships... all they have is a believe on how they think things should be. But they don't really know and when things don't turn out how they believe they should then they start to question everything. Is it him or is it you? Would it be different with someone else, but would that really be better or worse?

You have no practical experience to apply to this. See there is a difference between knowledge and wisdom. Knowledge you can acquire by reading, through education and learning. But wisdom is the accumulation of your knowledge with practical experience. You have no prior practical experience so you might be lacking a degree of wisdom and that is what he is trying to say.

So what do you do? Well I have no idea, after 20 years of marriage with my ex-wife we divorced. Throughout the entire relationship she never appreciated all the things I did and provided for her... she had this determined belief that she could do better or she deserved better and never truly appreciated me for the things I did do. So in my vast wealth of wisdom all I learned was don't get involved with virgins. Because if they can't find it within themselves to trust you and appreciate you for who you are... they will never truly trust or apricate you for who you are and what you do for them. Nor will they ever be truly happy with themselves or within the relationship.

I failed in my experience so I do not know what success looks like, but it was so painful and burdensome for so long I would never do it again.

DJB72 · Answer

Dump his ass. Everything in your description is a red flag. He's making your relationship all about his performance, not about you.

If he wants someone who's fucked around, tell him to go find someone that fits that description.

Know your value. You deserve someone who sees your worth. Besides, if he's had multiple women then who's he with in his head? Is he trying something because he thinks you'll enjoy it or because the last girl liked it? Does he see you, or is he comparing to other women he's been with?

I'd had two partners before I met my wife. That was 20 years ago and I regret that she wasn't the only girl I've been with.

JamesDiaz11 · Answer

You can do one of two things: You can either leave him, because he's not actually a man. A real man would cherish that he's your first, and no other man has had you, but the way he's acting: unable to take on the responsibility; shying away from being the first/ special- it's just very insecure, and childish.

The second thing you can do is let me smash... lol

glennos89 · Answer

That's his own insecurity which he tries to project on you blaming you for something he shouldn't blame you for but respect you for instead.

You do nothing wrong and you are beautifull the way you are. Don't let him tell you otherwise because honestly... He doesn't deserve you when he is talking to like that! Im proud of you and he should be too and supporting you making you feel less insecure and not more!! 😇

Jenny-Marie · Answer

If you are looking for a long-term relationship, this is not the guy. Why would you being a virgin be a burden? All he's doing is trying to pressure you into bed so he can add another notch to his bedpost. I think you should reconsider your future, he probably shouldn't be a part of it.

Anonymous · Answer

Why do you let him gaslight you so hard? You’re not dumb and don’t need past experiences in a relationship to know what being a decent man or person in general should look like.

RiseofArtemis · Answer

He probably feels shitty for fucking around and you being a virgin which makes him look bad. He is to be honest.

justEric · Answer

This is nonsense and he seems to be a very insecure person for saying it

Shamalien · Answer

Only guy I’ve ever heard of who’s complaining about a pure girlfriend. Is there a reason why he’d feel not appreciated?

MiseriaCantareAFI · Answer

How do you know he's your boyfriend if you haven't even had sex yet If that were true, then I've had "lots of girlfriends", even though I'm a virgin too

FilmGuy93 · Answer

There's nothing you can do besides being as low-stress as possible.

Anonymous · Answer

Dump him. He has basically told you you are a burden to him. Find a guy who will appreciate your inexperience.

Twalli · Answer

Your first boyfriend, or sex partner. If he's your first boyfriend, then I can kind of understand, sex partner, not so much.

Anonymous · Answer

He's a piece of shot who needs to get over himself and his ego

CloudMassacre · Answer

I personally would take that offensively and leave

Jay3344 · Answer

I don’t get it, I think it’s fine

My boyfriend said he wished I had more experience because him being my first is stressing him out. help?

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My boyfriend said he wished I had more experience because him being my first is stressing him out. help?

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