Why is my boyfriend a bit inexperienced & how to help?

Question

my boyfriend is an Ok boyfriend but there’s somethings that should be understood. Like back in our talking stage he didn’t not pay on the first little movie date & when he saw me carry heavy groceries because he though i had it… lol, even his mom said something it was embarrassing. Also I barely ask for much so I mentioned going on formal dates without me planning it since we’ve mainly been on movie dates & such & he hasn’t took me in 5 months until i said something recently. Also I tend to talk a lot on our phone calls so I let him talk more today & he was trying but it sounded like we were buddy’s & he asked me what’s wrong but I didn’t say anything just that i’m bored because I wanted to give him until tonight to flirt a little or something like he does & the only thing he said last night was goodnight beautiful on the phone lol after that I gave him another tip to never go a whole day without saying something loving to your partner. I’m his first girlfriend but i hate teaching him things so i decided to take a break for a day or 2 from him.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Create a joint vision.

A joint vision is an agreed upon vision for life with each other.
It's how you both want things to be.

I believe most people look for the perfect person and they'll never find it.
I believe the key is to change and grow together into two people that fit very well.
Two people that are fulfilled and a relationship that last is perfection.

If you two created one, you both would know what to work on and do.
It makes both parties well aware of what's expected and obvious when something is opposite to the vision.

If you two created one and then sat down in the morning separate or together and read it and then imagined what that looks like; it would help you both to stay on course.
If you then tried to focus on one thing from that vision to work on each day until it became habit, your relationship would go a long way.
Imagine having a set way in which to deal with disagreements.
Imagine living just the way you imagined it.
Well, you can.

It can be exactly how you two want it to be. No more self sabotage.
All you have to do is create a joint vision, apply discipline and focus to make it habit, and control the ideas and thoughts you give conscious attention to.

Everything begins with a thought. You can think of someone that made you angry or did you wrong. And you'd might feel angry thinking about it. Someone might have just cut you off on the street 5 minutes ago. And it might have made you frustrated.
But if you forgive, your body will forgive you and release those negative feelings.
Forgive is to let go. Just let go of attention on it and focus on something else and your body will follow your thoughts. And your actions will follow your feelings.
This is required. Control of self begins in the mind. No person has the strength to restrain themselves when they think thoughts of enemies all day.

Anyway, I believe this is the way to do it. It's exciting and can be challenging.
It makes two people into one. One meaning team. No longer is it him vs you or you vs him. Now all the focus shifts on being the two people you wrote down on paper and helping and supporting each other in that.

CuriousJC · Accepted Answer

You're to need to teach him if you want him to stop being a nervous wreck. He's not going to be very good. Whether that changes (and how long it takes to change) is both a function of how well you bring him up to speed and whether he figures out how to take the initiative. It's simple. Not all guys are the same. Sometimes, for one reason or another, a guy 'has trouble' with what to most people would seem to come natural. Talk to him about it, and initiate. Communication and honesty are the foundation of a relationship. If it ends, it ends. But drawing out a pointless relationship is just a waste of time. Communicate your problems to him and maybe you two can come to a compromise. It takes time. You have to somehow put him in a relaxed mood.. if I'm in my head I can think of everything but sex. Is he stressed from something outside of seeing you? Spent some daytime with him, enjoy yourselves to build some trust for each other I hope he will then loosen up. I have to think very hard about this one. My brain hurts trying to figure this out. Hope it helps.

strateguy632 · Answer

five months without talking, means not attracted to you, so find a lover.

Anonymous · Answer

I Assume he was the one that asked you out and hit on you

Why is my boyfriend a bit inexperienced & how to help?

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