What your best advice on dating?

[Justneedtokno]

Since I needed to condense my other Questions down

[242plusInfinity]

WARNING (Unusual advice)

A) Get a Notebook. Write down exactly the life you want. Key word want.
- Do that for 30 days straight

B) Write out a description of the boyfriend that fits in the life you want.
- Do that for 30 days straight

C) Write out a description of the version of you that fits in the life you want
- Do that for 30 days straight

D) Learn how to change/grow.
- It should be crystal clear

E) Create a relationship philosophy on how to have and keep a happy, harmonious relationship.

F) Start Applying D and E using the material you came up with in ABC

G) You'll know what to do next once you do A-F

@Justneedtokno Remember I warned you at the top of my comment. I think this is the best way for you to go. Otherwise you're going to have to waste countless years on dating attempting to figure out what most people never figure out anyway.

[Justneedtokno]

Thank you for taking the time to write this

[Jamie05rhs]

1. Start early.
2. Take your time. Don't rush. (Referring to an individual person.)
3. Talk, talk, talk! Do not be afraid to get to know someone! This will help you better determine whether they are a good match or not.
4. Always meet up in a public place.
5. Always tell a friend where you're going.
6. DO meet someone if you're not sure how you feel about them. DO NOT meet someone if you fear for your safety.
7. Never have sex on the first date. Or the second. Or the third. Etc. Wait until you are in a permanent relationship (preferably marriage.)
8. Do not marry someone that you do not fully know.
9. Do not move in with anyone if you don't have enough money to survive on your own without them.
10. Do NOT rush an engagement!

[Justneedtokno]

Can’t start early I’m 28

[Jamie05rhs]

@Justneedtokno Well, you have had boyfriends before; correct? Or at the very least some sort of relationship? You can use that experience to learn from past mistakes and apply those lessons to future endeavors. So, in a way, you already have a head start.

It would be good to jump in and get back in the game soon, though!
(Although I can see that you're already doing that -- by being inquisitive and thinking deeply and trying to gain wisdom from others here to prepare you for what is to come. So good job on that! :) )

[Jamie05rhs]

Thanks for the MHO!

[PositiveNote]

Wow a lot of negativity in the answers preceding mine. Here's what I say:

Always know why you are dating the guy (I assume it's a guy.) If it's not serious dating as in looking for a guy, then don't date the same guy more than a couple times.

If it's serious, then narrow your picks down to 3 guys. Date each a couple times, but pick one. Be honest with that guy and tell him you only date more than a couple times with a guy if your serious about that relationship. Then, step back and see what he says. If he's also interested and doesn't like start stuttering and run out of you place when you use the bathroom, then, keep going until it either gels or it falls apart.

Most of all, enjoy life, babe! If you are not enjoying what you are doing, look for joy until you find it.

[Sixgunsound]

It’s not a race to the finish line. Ladies, the longer you make him wait but still keep him interested the more likely he is to stick around. Wait too long and he’ll find someone else who will give it up though. It’s a balancing act. The people in the relationship are more important than the people talking about it. If you’re just not that into the other person do t waste their time or yours. Ladies, 21-26 are the best years to get married in, after that your SMV starts to decline without a whole lot of expensive effort. Like it or not, body count matters to quality men who have options. Suzanne Venker, Jennifer Moleski, and Pearl Davis have hundreds of hours of excellent dating advice between them on getting with a quality partner for women and men, a quick YouTube search will turn their massively popular channels up in short order.

[Jamie05rhs]

"Wait too long and he’ll find someone else who will give it up though."
This is bad advice. You're encouraging her to fall into the trap. Because that is precisely the leverage that those guys use to get girls to have sex with them.

[Sixgunsound]

@Jamie05rhs it’s just an observation I’ve made over the years. Do I like it or agree with it? Of course not. But the reality is both men and women with options will take them.

[Sixgunsound]

And at 28 she is in the zone where the SMV graph starts to flip. Again, not my choice or preference it just is what it is. The way the game is played at that point is much different than at 18.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Sixgunsound I'm not saying it isn't an accurate observation. It is. But my point is that it's a game. And women play it at their own peril, because they almost never win.

[Jamie05rhs]

And the fact that she's nearing the wall is even more reason to be EXTRA CAREFUL and not take any chances!

[Sixgunsound]

@Jamie05rhs As I went out of my way to state each time, I don’t agree with it or support it, nor do I disagree with you, I was just making an observation.

[Jamie05rhs]

Okay, but the context here is this young lady is asking for advice. So we need to make sure we're giving her good advice.

[Sixgunsound]

@Jamie05rhs next time I’ll lie to spare feelings then, or fail to include relevant information. At 18 I would say something more aligned with your reply, but at 28 the market has changed and so must the strategy. At 18 i would say hang on to the v card and try to be married by 23 to a guy in a graduate program because he is going to hit his economic stride soon and everything is in her favor at that point. At 28, fewer things are in her favor and men are typically in place with their careers by 28 and are looking at young and beautiful 24 year olds (not that she can’t be beautiful at 28 it’s just survey data of males from 16-60 consistently pick 23 as the most beautiful age for women, which matches up with peak fertility and energy to chase bliss around) if they have options. It’s not that I don’t understand the question it’s just that I also understand the world.

[Sixgunsound]

Chase kids around*

[Jamie05rhs]

So you're setting her up to get fucked by a lot of men who are totally okay with using her for sex but not interested in choosing her for a long-term partner. THINK, man! Take off the rose-colored glasses.

[Sixgunsound]

@Jamie05rhs It’s a crap world and timing is everything. I’ve never actually disagreed with you, I’m just a realist if anything.

[AviatorTom]

1. Be yourself, don't try to impress your date with someone you are not.

2. Accept the fact that some dates will be good, and some will be bad. That's life.

3. Date people you are interested in. Don't date someone to increase your body count.

[MikeInHawaii]

Don’t go out on even one date with someone you know you wouldn’t marry. You can’t know if you’ve found the right one on the first date. That’s what dating is for, it’s a vetting process. But, sometimes you can spot the wrong one from across the room. Don’t be like Taylor Swift. If you knew he was trouble when he walked in, DON’T HAVE SEX WITH HIM!!!”

[KrakenAttackin]

Does anyone still date? I thought "hookups" and friends with benefits have replaced dating. Perhaps your question was meant to be funny.

[Justneedtokno]

I don’t want to hook up

[Agape93]

Never compromise your safety or happiness for anyone. Never.

[TacosRAwesome]

If someone disrespects your boundaries (even in a way to do you a favour) and they get angry when you complain, they're trouble.

[242plusInfinity]

This is actually really good advice, in my opinion anyway. Assuming they knew your boundaries already.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Always protect yourself while out on dates, never leave a drink with anyone and go to the restroom and the same goes for food as well, always go with your gut feeling and watch when a date uses body language too.

[ALPHABLACK]

Dont date stay single even if you are not religious just stay single

Less drama and legal shit

[msc545]

My best advice to men is DON'T DO IT. My advice to women - try to behave reasonably.

[Anonymous]

Don't do it. Most women are a losing proposition.

[Topaz1979]

just don't do it👍.

[Topaz1979]

i'm only joking 🥴

[Justneedtokno]

It’s ok