She was my crush who rejected be brutally. Now that she loves me 6 years after rejecting, I no longer want to be with her. I hate her, the way she talked or smiles. Everything I loved about her, now I hate. Although I keep in touch with my crushes, I hate her.
After her, I was in a serious relation, which broke. Now in another.
Still my hate for her is not justified. I uncontrollably hate her. I use the same words she used to hurt me against her. Taste of her own medicine.
But my heart breaks the moment I feel she left me for someone. Some fuckboy. That she shares her body with them. The fact she never initiate contact again makes me unblock and keep lines open again, everywhere. Even if she calls I don't talk or reply cold.
It is breaking a part of me that I decided to block her to not see her pics with others or status, now that she drifted apart. But I keep connected to her on other platforms, where she could never show off her life with others.
I still want to feel 'the only man in her life' . Her validation. But I hate her.
