I understand that women get more matches, more easily on Tinder and because of biology it makes sense. I find 2 things frustrating about dating apps in general. The first is that very few women ever put any actual work into making a bio or really any effort at all, why is that? Not all guys are just super thirsty looking to hookup, finding out things you may like about the person shouldn't be left until after a match which brings me to my next frustration. I find it's always me putting the effort in to respond to messages timely or respectfully. If I don't message them and say good morning I don't hear from them, and this isn't only the first few messages, it's even after there's somewhat of a repoire built up texting off the app. It constantly feels like they don't actually want to be talking to me and I'm just supposed to be chasing them all the time which is emotionally frustrating to say the least. I'd like to hear from other guys to see if they experience this aswell and also from women to hopefully provide some insight as to why this is. I'm not saying it's not something I'm doing wrong but conversation is one of my strengths and I never fail to create interesting discussions. I'm very respectful and not creepy so I dont get it. I just can't for the life of me figure out what I could be doing wrong, is that just the way the world works now? I'm recently out of a 10 year marriage and am new to dating again. Thanks!
It's something your doing/not doing
That's just the way it is, get used to it!
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Is it normal for men to put in all the work on Tinder?
It's unfortunate but due to the ratio between men and women on dating apps, girls can just get inundated with options. This might cause them to just not put in the necessary effort, or take the time to 'invest' in someone because they can just check their option list.
And, if the chat doesn't grab them, or intrigue them enough then how easy it is to just go to the next one. I think sometimes it might also just be overwhelming which can cause someone to just not get into conversations.
It sucks, but if your profile isn't interesting/attractive enough and your initial conversation is like how everyone else chats, it's not going to shine through all the other profiles pending.
Gotta pull a rabbit out of the hat to impress random girls, too much work to be honest for too little in return. I used to seriously try and not trying has yielded the same results, actually maybe slightly better results, considering my expectations from women being decent people are much lower now lol.
Why women don't put in work? they barely have to even make a profile and they succeed is why.
It's all about your picture. You could write that you light small puppies on fire and these chicks will throw themselves at you because of the picture. I don't even try with conversation... I usually just call them a derogatory slur and then blam... they're in love. Simps don't get laid on onlyfans but they're kept around to drain the cash out of them. A place like Tinder is no place for a simp, like at all, I'm just being real with you bruah. For me, I'd complain that most of these chicks are actually cheating on a man, but yet they're on a hookup site looking for cock. If I was looking for anything more than a cheap fuck from some chick I'd spit on just to see if she likes it, I wouldn't go to Tinder. They don't want your respect... they want to get choked, called a slut, and pounded into the next universe.
Unfortunately, that’s the way it is. I used to put in effort and that yielded no results, now I put in no effort and get the same results, maybe slightly better because I have low expectations of women now. When women can’t be bothered to put in the smallest bit of effort towards someone they chose to match with, it’s like what’s the point. Just thinking about it makes me sick in the context of a relationship, am I just going to be expected impress them constantly. Too much effort for very little in return, staying single doesn’t seem so bad.
Women get more matches so the opening chat has to be different to grab our attention. If you get chatting, it should be a two way thing, asking some questions to help find out if you click and if there’s reason to meet. It shouldn’t be for having discussions. That would happen on the meeting. Maybe they get bored or realise you aren’t what they expected. Or maybe they think you aren’t serious about things, since you haven’t yet asked if they wish to meet for a coffee?
"Women get more matches so the opening chat has to be different to grab our attention"
Request denied.
When I just say "hi", it gets sent. But if I take the time to write anything interesting, it says "inbox full"
Women need to be ok with just "hi".
You girls can use our bios to find out if we are interesting, but expecting it via an intro message is extremely unrealistic. And expecting to get picked when your bio doesn't describe you well, is also unrealistic.
The stuff you think people should talk about when meeting for coffee, thats the stuff that should be on a bio, and tinder's bio character limit is too short to accommodate that, so that app is useless for dating.
Who said you can’t say hi? It’s the test I the BS that women don’t like. How’s your day. U ok babe. Wanna snap. That’s what we don’t like.
And if you choose to weed people out by their bio alone, no wonder you’re not doing well. The bio is a taster. You then match. Say some stuff. See if there’s actual communication. Then you meet. If there’s any doubt, always meet. See them in person. You may miss out on someone because if the ‘rules’ you make for yourself.
"Who said you can’t say hi?" Almost all women on dating sites.
Bios on dating sites are supposed to be very comprehensive self descriptions of personality, hobbies, interests, morals, beliefs (or lack of), goals, lifestyle preferences, tolerances, pet peeves, dealbreakers, etc. Not a few words or sentences.
Do you have any idea just how rare a good match is? You cannot expect people to use a bio as a "taster" and then hold conversations with a thousand people per day to fill in the rest for each lazy profile. You have to standout on the bio, and the first dealbreaker on it results in immediately haulting the reading of it, hitting pass, amd moving into to the next profile. Otherwise no one would find matches.
I visit 1,000 profiles per day, I only attempt to talk to ones who I find physically attractive that also have their profile bios filled out enough to mention common interests and shared hobbies, the rest I hit pass after skimming their profile for a few seconds, so I can move on and find ones with shared interests/hobbies in their bio.
For example, if her bio is just a few words, or I think she's not attractive, or she doesn't mention video games even once, or does but mentions it in a negative light, or it says she's religious, or smokes, or drinks, or does drugs, or wants kids, then there is no point to talking to her, I swipe left and move on.
Your advice would have me talking to any attractive woman who wrote pretty much nothing on their bio. Do you know how long that would take? Decades! The less than 1% of women on there who are mental matches would all be taken by the time I got to any of them.
Or at least it would take decades, if writing anything in a message that warrants a reply, didn't result in the "inbox full cannot send message" error.
I've gone through hundreds of thousands of profiles before seeing even a single woman who shares my hobbies, because most of you can't be bothered to write anything on your bios.
Just my personal experience but tinder just isn't meant for potential relationships let alone hook ups for guys. It will always be easier for women on apps like tinder and guys will end up with the short end of the stick. It's probably nothing you did wrong, but tbh you'd probably ha better luck striking a conversation with someone at the supermarket. But good like my dude!
I don't think it's normal. If you like someone you should put as much effort in your messages as the guy you matched with, after all, you chose to like the person. But I heard some actually go there for an ego boost. They kind of ruin it for the rest of us.
Have you tried other dating apps that are not tider. It is not good to looking for rwl relationships. My experience with some. Is I only got older mwn men liking me on disabled dating. Then I did try facebook dating is was a missed and hit.
