What is your opinion of this guy?

[Anonymous]

2 years ago we met from a dating app, but then I rejected him because I thought his looks (and he was heavily weighted) didn't fit me. But he suggested remaining friends, since then on he would come to visit me occasionally throughout the years. However, we didn't stay in touch as much, and only occasionally send texts to each other or call. But now that I have more time, I send more messages and call him. He responds to them. I want to give it another chance. Do you think something is there in his heart for me still? I'm not sure if I like him or not as far as more than friends, but I want to get to know him more. I know him but not that deeply.

[SomewhereElse]

Do you actually feel differently about his looks now though? Otherwise, there is really not enough information here to tell if this guy likes you or not. Who initiates messages usually, what's the flow of conversation like? Does he ask you questions? How long / detailed are his answers? Etc, etc...

[Asker]

I think his looks are fine, but his weight... I'm not sure if I'll feel attracted to him.

[Asker]

I enjoyed my time with him when we hung out together yesterday. I liked it.

[SomewhereElse]

Hmmm, I would say then maybe meet him a few more times and see how you feel. Only go for it if you feel attracted though... I understand you on the weight, and who knows, maybe he'd try to shape up. But maybe not. Has he been overweight during the entire time you've known him, and have you told him his weight is an issue for you?

[Asker]

He's been heavy the whole time. But he does tell me that he has joined the gym of his own will. I haven't really told him to lose weight or expressed any concerns. I think it is pretty obvious though that he would need to lose weight without anyone saying it. But he eats unhealthy too, which is the problem.

[SomewhereElse]

I see... if he still eats poorly, chances are the weight will not come off or stay off if it does. You could always wait and see how it is in a month or two, but unless he makes a major change in his life, weight would probably always be an issue for him. Would you be ok with that? If you don't think it's for you (and no judgement, I don't find overweight men attractive either) then it's probably best to continue looking elsewhere.

[Asker]

thanks for the honest opinion.

[Honest-Matt]

I think you need to put your internal speculation and questions aside and focus on building a friendship if you enjoy his presence and company. Don't close yourself off to the possibility of something more than a friendship but just enjoy yourselves and if you feel something, you'll feel it

[Staximus]

Sounds like he's not your first choice. Don't string him along if you're going to ditch him for somebody you find more attractive.

[Anonymous]

Why do you not say anything? Just ask him out.

[Asker]

I did ask him to hang out.

[Anonymous]

Well I know he should just stay friends with you. You by your own admission are not really interested.

[jimmy2]

He probably a neat guy, but his weight confuses you

[Asker]

He is nice. He may be clueless at times and doesn't understand someone's needs but I think he has become better.

[In_Trance]

douchebag