Why are men so obsessed with women previous partner?

[Anonymous]

What is this obsession with a man over body count why does it matter how many people I slept with like I’m sorry should I not be able to enjoy myself and wait for you instead Like women don’t ask you how much is your body count at least I don't why are you so bothered by it just why also I'm over 18 I made a mistake while putting the age in

[HighValue]

1. The more partners someone has had, the less capable they are to emotionally pair bond with someone long term. Statistics prove it to be true that the more partners someone has had, the chance of divorce increases substantially.

2. If they were promiscuous/had ONS/friends with benefits they don't think of sex as part of a special unique bond between them so the other person won't feel special or valued. (Even one time of being promiscuous/hook up/ONS is worse than 5 previous romantic partners because it shows her morals.)

[Asker]

OK my problem is why nobody showed this same energy with men and why does it only go with women huh

[HighValue]

It should, but women often think the opposite and actually turn down guys that don't have a past of many partners. The guys that don't have sex casually/don't do hook ups/ONS and wait because they greatly value an emotional bond with someone are often turned down by the majority of women. The women are the ones preferring the kinds of guys that had casual sex. And it is to their own detriment because the kinds of people (men and women) that have casual sex are much more likely to cheat because they don't think of it in the same way and it isn't special to them.

[genericname85]

you could equally ask why girls are so obsessed with him committing to a relationship before sex. it's things we care about when looking for a partner. like if you're looking for a romantic long term partner for a relationship, obviously you're not gonna get with a chick that fucks the next dude a week later right? that's why they ask about previous partners. in order to make estimations about her lifestyle and the likelyhood of her being a good choice.

[Asker]

first of how many people I slept with does not define what I want in life like if I sleep with that 20 people it does not mean that I do not want a romantic relationship with someone if that person wanna romantic relationship with me shows up I will have that romantic relationship with them but if you just wanted to be a one time thing I can do that And I do not have to be a relationship person 24 seven my whole entire liI like there is that time of life where you do not want to be in a relationship you just wanna fuck around and have fun and that’s OK because a certain time in life will come when I will want to be in a romantic relationship but it won’t make me less of a person because I slept with a lot of people

[genericname85]

well if you've been fucking 50 guys in the last year, that has everything to do with how likely it is that you're a good partner for a long term commited relationship. way more than you just saying that you want a romantic relationship. your actions define you. actions speak louder than words. you can't just expect people to ignore what you have done when they wanna judge how good a partner you're gonna be to them.

i mean you're not looking for a fuck boy either right? would you assume a guy is up for a romantic relationship if he merely says so when he also has been fucking around a lot lately? no. right?

it doesn't make you "less of a person" if you slept with lots of people. but less of a good choice for someone who is longing for a long term romantic relationship. your actions define you and your actions have consequences. you can't fuck around a lot, knowing most guys don't like that and then decide that you want to stop fucking around and expect everyone to treat you like you never did that. actions have consequences. own up to who you are and accept peoples judgements for your actions, cause you chose these actions not them.

[Asker]

You can’t have sex with 50 different guys but you can love one person in all of those people just saying also it does not mean if you had sex with a lot of people it makes you less likely to be a good partner guys fuck around all the time but somehow you’re trying to find every single reason in the whole war to try to make a woman be less then just because your body count is high and some certain way you know what honey I’m gonna fuck whoever I want when I’m horny I’m gonna fuck a guy and if I fall in love with a dude I’m gonna marry that dude and we’re gonna have a long-term relationship because me have being horny does not make me less than a person does not make me listen to love a person less to be in a relationship with a person know it means nothing I fuck you I woke up the next morning and I keep going with my day and it’ was like you never happened My body is my choice I do not tell you what you do with your cock I do not tell you why you should or should not do how many people you should fuck with your car so if I’m horny I’m gonna fuck I’m gonna fuck hard OK

[genericname85]

Well some dudes just don't want a girl who fucked around a lot, cause that makes a relationship less special. You can bitch and moan about thatv all day. But people don't care about your words and they can't read your mind. So what matters is your actions.

[Asker]

I would never let anybody make me feel bad for being horny I’m not less special because I sleep with people I’m not less special because I have a high body count I’m not Less special nothing in a whole world can make me feel less special I know my worth and I know my words good enough to know that a man won’t make me feel less then won't make me feel less love because I can find my love anywhere and if you are so insecure that you can’t stand the fact that a woman has a higher body count than you than I am very much sorry for you

[genericname85]

Well those guys won't get with you either way. So no problem.

[genericname85]

I'm not speaking about "higher body count than me". I'm not giving around like crazy and I expect a woman who wants to be with me not to live that life either. You can tell yourself whatever you want to feel good about yourself. I chose my partners according to my preference not yours. So whatever.

[Asker]

Yeah, and no women would ever want you either so we’re equal😋

[genericname85]

Fucking not giving***

[EllaNella]

it's pure insecurity. they're afraid they might not be able to keep up & that the woman realises they're a subpar partner and leaves them. And to cloak their weak character they hide it under a pretense of "women make worse partners if they had previous relationships"

[Asker]

I wish women can just realize that some of their partners are toxic and insecure they are not going to change

[HighValue]

With that kind of thinking, you should be fine dating a rapist or murderer because their past doesn't matter and you are just insecure if you don't date them.

[EllaNella]

you failed to account for the fact that raping or murdering someone drastically lowers their quality of life or ends it altogether and having a relationship or sex with someone does not. obviously these things are very different and cannot be compared in this context. next time maybe take 3 seconds to think before you post something.

[HighValue]

You are ignorant and illogical. You think that because someone doesn't want an immoral slut for a partner that they somehow think they won't be as good of a partner (insecure) as another trash person that had casual sex?

[Asker]

What is wrong with you bro did you even bother reading what you said highvalue

[EllaNella]

any proof that having sex with someone is a bad thing? doesn't count if it's from the heritage foundation because their morals around scientific practice are just as solid as your comparision of casual sex/previous relationships and murder

[Asker]

Bro just shut up and say you’re insecure and you get no bitches like

[HighValue]

You two are just immoral promiscuous women and are angry when no good guy will ever want you for long term. I'd never accept a trash partner like either of you.

[Asker]

Oh honey who told you that I want man honey I’m gonna fuck a woman I’m gonna marry a woman if that’s what I Gotta do if a man can’t stand the fact that I am hot and I can fuck whoever I want then a woman is who I should marry OK boo

[EllaNella]

I'm taking from this that you have no actual points to make so you resort to ad homs. Not what i would consider a high value conversationist but ok, we all have our own standards. I for one am in a happy long term relationship with an actual high value man. And Asker is underage, so it's really weird of you to focus on her having sex. ew.

[Asker]

Not underage

[EllaNella]

oh lol sorry, it's just what was written in your age bracket

[Asker]

That ok that age thing was a joke end badly

[tzdc21]

A guy not wanting a woman who has been ran through is not insecurity, it's a preference. Which apparently we guys aren't allowed to have nowadays.

[tzdc21]

Let me explain the four big reasons why it matters to a man when dealing with a woman. Buckle up, this is gonna take a while.

1) Men and Women are both biologically hardwired to be attracted and disgusted by certain things. It just so happens that one of the things we guys are instinctively disgusted by are promiscuous women as our girlfriend and/or wife. That's just our nature, just like how it's in a woman's nature to look for a man who can provide and protect. Now when it comes to just sex, they won't care, but a committed relationship is a whole different ballpark.

2) Stats show that the higher a woman's body count, the more likely she will initiate breakups ans divorces. AND it's more likely she will have mental problems down the long run. You lose your ability to pair bond with every new sexual partner you have, and that's what helps relationships work through tough times... or in general.

3) When you (a woman) are in a relationship with a man, you are becoming a representation of that man, whether you know it or not. That means that what you say or do is gonna affect him to. So therefore, if you're a hoe, or you say or do some crazy and stupid stuff, not only are you putting yourself in a bad light, but you're putting your boyfriend/husband in a bad light. Because everyone is gonna be like, "This crazy girl is his?" or "This hoe is who he is taking seriously?" That is embarrassing for any man, even if he won't admit it to others or himself.

4) THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT REASON. There is a reason why since the dawn of time, men have demanded that the woman they take seriously are virgins. Not all guys nowadays want virgins now, but still want lower body counts from the woman they take seriously. And the reason why is because they want to ensure paternity. I assume I would be correct if I were to say that a deep dark fear for a lot of women is being r@ped in a dark alley by some creep. That deep feeling of fear that you get, the male equivalent to that is when he busts his ass, investing his blood, sweat, and tears into raising a child, and then finding out one day that the kid was never his. That's why guys have an issue with taking promiscuous women seriously. Because if you take a promiscuous woman seriously, and she gets pregnant, there's a good chance that child may not be yours.

So, when a man is looking at a woman to take seriously, he is gonna want to know your body count, because your body count correlates to your level of promiscuity. If you have a high body count, it means you're promiscuous. And if you're promiscuous, you're a bad bet for a long term relationship. And now you know the reasons why.

[boggboss]

Many people women included are botherd by body count simple just find someone that has the same mindset as yourself

[YakubDavid]

It is just how men are. A man with decent success will never look for a 304 past one night stands or temporary relationships. Deffo not marriage. It is also partly biological and spiritual.

[Asker]

Will it dumb

[YakubDavid]

Not really. It is called having preferences and choosing what kind of a person you want to be with. Men are allowed to have that. So are women. You can't make crappy life choices and be expected to be treated like you didn't make any, man or woman.

[Berethor]

Because a man is like a key, a woman is like a lock, I don't want a relationship with a ho.

[Asker]

Ok we don't a relationship with an insecure trash bag

[boobliker]

we are not all worried about ex's it's all down to what comes out if we did it this way or that way