Is it too soon or to ask my coworker on a date sometime if I've worked with him for a year? Advice please?

[Paulalove98]

He's 25 going on 26 and im almost 24 and we've worked together here and there a year and played video games together once, he's really easygoing and laidback but a kind hearted guy although back in April he said he wasn't looking for anything and he's never had a girlfriend i still have this crush on him i just dont wanna get my hopes up but he mentioned to me we can do something soon.. i just dont know if it's too soon or pushy to ask him on a date and tell him the truth that i find him really cute and if he'd like to see if there's anything more. Thoughts?

Updates

1 y

I don't know if i should wait till we hangout a couple of more times or what. I don't wanna lose him as a friend and i also dont want it to be awkward when we work together either. I feel lost but then i don't wanna say i didn't try either especially if i am feeling this guy!

[William7489]

OK first thing, be very very careful before you entertain the thoughts of dating a coworker. Remember, the odds statistically speaking are pretty remote that this is going to be the person that you end up settling down with for good. And that means more likely than not, you all will probably break up especially since you said that this guy has never had a girlfriend? And he’s almost 26? It’s going to be a little bit rocky even if you do date for a while. My point being as if it goes sideways it’s really hard to have to see and work with an ex every single day. It’s hard to have closure if you can’t have space. The second thing is this, I would give it a little more time before actually making a move. Hang out a little longer and try a little more flirting and see how they respond. You don’t want to lose a good friendship by going to fast. It doesn’t sound like he’s done anything overtly flirtatious just yet although he does sound like he enjoys your company. Just be patient for a little while longer while you hang out and see if he gives you any more indications or if he responds more affirmatively to some of your subtle hints. Good luck!

[Paulalove98]

I totally understand the coworker part but he does plan to move jobs like next year sometime so us working together is basically temporary but we plan to stay in touch. Yes makes sense.. i think im gonna do that and hangout a few more times too. I was going back and forth because im a girl who falls fast like not in love but like crushing crushing hard on someone lol but as much as i find him cute and appealing i don't wanna lose him as a friend i think I'd feel regret and really sad😞

[Paulalove98]

I give him some hints like smile at him and laugh at what he says in a flirty way because he does make me laugh he's such a cool chill person and he's easy to talk to. I don't feel like superrr shy but he gives me the feels for sure and makes me feel comfortable toward him.

[William7489]

Well it sounds like you really like this person, so you can always drop hints that are a little more direct. You can jokingly just ask him something along the lines of, “do you think it would be weird if we were going out?“ And that way you’re putting it as a hypothetical But you’ll be able to judge from his response if he’s interested. Because if he really does like you, he’ll probably be pretty flustered, surprised or embarrassed. If it’s nothing more than that he may just kind of laugh or jokingly brush it off as you all being better friends than anything. And of course you just agree with him! You’ll have regrets if you don’t at least go ahead and give it some kind of shot. You don’t have to go in 100 miles an hour, but like I said there’s some more subtle ways you can do it. If you’re gaming with him, you can laughingly put your hand on him, punch him lightly, and just see how he reacts. Just follow your heart, be smart and see where it takes you. I wish you really good luck.

[ohsheeT]

Okay well first things first he said what he said okay and he wasn't looking for anything so you have to hear that but he did not say he wasn't looking for a good friend to hang out with if you ask him out ask him not out on a date ask him to let's go out and do whatever the moment you bring up Crush you're going to make him run you're going to make him think too deep if you guys go out you have fun you're doing it as friends and then say hey we should do this again sometime but if you mention the word Crush he's going to see you being an aggressive Maybe but also he might feel that you're trying to push him into something that he's not ready for just yet look at if you guys go out and he has a good time there you go that just means another another night or day you guys can go out and do something as friends let him make that choice you already know what you like you already know what you're in it for let him make up his mind what he's in it for is that makes sense that I can't tell you what to do when you do what you think is right

[UnknownSwede]

It sounds like he doesn't want to be in a relationship. If he said he's not looking for something and never been in a relationship.

Maybe you're setting yourself up for disappointment if he only wants to hookup and you want something more. And that could make it strange at work.

[Paulalove98]

He's never even hooked up or had sex im pretty sure. He's an attractive guy i mean in my opinion but i can just tell he's waited for the right person i just dont know if he's ready yet and that's also why i dont wanna set my hopes too high.

[UnknownSwede]

You have talked about that with him? If you're pretty sure about it. But I guess you can talk to him and see how he is feeling about dating for real? To see that you're clear about what you both wants.

[UnknownSwede]

Hit me up if you feel like talking about it.

[Big_Dong]

You should try to see how he feels about you. You have known each other for a year so if you want him try and so him that and see what type of response you get from him. You probably want to act soon than latter because you might friend zone each other by becoming close frinds, but not too fast otherwise it might get weird.

[Summeroflove]

You might as well try so long as he’s single. How long is he gonna be available?


You know. If he’s attractive. He could just ask someone else if someone else doesn’t ask him.

How’s your chance.

[bowenw]

It's not too soon. Give it a try and see what happens.

[Havthrills]

Its not too soon. Go for it. Let us know how it goes.

[Alex8736]

if you hang out do it in a group setting like after work drinks to unwind.

[WhiteBoyChill]

Keep hanging out with the guy. Don’t force things just yet

[maximumpower]

Coworker?
Bad idea.

[Paulalove98]

Oh I get it but us working together is temporary because he is moving to another field too and so am I so yeah

[CubaPirate]

Absolutely notbgo for it girl and good luck

[Anonymous]

dont date co workers... ut won't last

[Paulalove98]

He plans to move jobs

[Paulalove98]

Also we don't work in the same department.