Is it wrong for a 21M to date a 17F?

[Anonymous]

I met his mom and he told her I was 18 at first but after only two days of telling her, he told her the truth, that we had slept together and I was actually 17, he said she wasn’t mad about the age thing but that he lied. Overall she was okay with us as long as there’s no more sex, she’s more worried about my parents pressing charges if anything. Although, my older sister dated a dude his age- maybe a little older like 23, when she was my age, and although my dad didn’t necessarily agree with it per se, he didn’t take any legal action and even let him move in at some point before they broke up. But even after all that I still have to wonder, is it really wrong? I mean it’s not even a 4 year age gap, he just turned 21 and still acts like a teenager, I mean sure he’s still mature and technically an adult, but for the most part he just acts like someone my age, he doesn’t even drink either so before anyone uses that against it saying “he can drink legally, you can’t” yes I get that. Oh yeah and I’m not in school anymore either before anyone tries to use that.

[Honest-Matt]

I don't support the dictation of people's life choices as young adults so you should be free to have self determination. But by the same token I know there is a real and vast difference in life experience and maturity from the ages of 17 to 21 and onward. It's been a common trend throughout history that men who pursue much younger girls lack maturity to pursue women their own age or older, so they utilize their maturity advantage to win over younger girls as they are easier, not an insult, a reality. There's a real imbalance of experience that lends potential for manipulation and coercion of younger adults, one form is grooming young girls for their desires like sex. Do what you feel is right, but understand the circumstance you are in and think critically of things you guys are doing and what you feel about it, not what you are impressed upon with.

[Jamie05rhs]

It's not socially acceptable. And in many areas it is also illegal. Even if there's a grey area, I wouldn't really suggest doing that.

In your case, I think it would probably be alright if you guys continue your relationship as long as you don't do anything sexual. (And I mean ANYTHING.). And keep your parents involved. But if your parents don't approve, then you have to trust their judgement and you have to let him go.

... And I only say this because he's only 21. And that's really pushing it. I would almost say that if he was even 22 then that would just be too much and you should break it off completely.

[Jamie05rhs]

Thanks for the MHO.

[anonpabo]

i think the only issue would be the legal issues, but if you both love each other than i dont see a problem

[xColinx]

It's a tricky issue because of legality and all that, but it's not like some 40 year old dude is taking advantage of you. And it's good that you're both open with your parents about the situation.

How long till you turn 18? At that point, things will be more simple right?

[SnowedIn]

In a general sense, no it's not wrong. If you're still 17, then (speaking about America) in most cities/states it's not legal to have sex with someone under 18. Yes, there are some places where it's legal but very few of one party is over 18. And, please, I'm not judging. Just making the statement that legally it's dicey.

[normalice]

The fact that he still acts like a teenager is something you can expect he will do well into his 30's. Know in advance that you will outgrow him and decide what you want to do with that information.

But is it "wrong?" Oh, I don't know.. it is certainly a bit predatory on his part but at 17 you shouldn't really have an excuse to be completely naive prey. There had to be at least a few choices you made, even if it got out of hand fast.

[BJP21]

4 years isn't that big of an age gap, as long as its consensual and not forced. you're fine. Id throw some caution to the wind in the meantime. If you plan on having sex again, keep your mouths closed about your sex life until age 18. Technically you should not be sharing it with them anyway.

[andreasderjuengere]

In a few months you'll be 18 anyway. It's not that he's in his 40's :D

[Philyouup]

it’s not horrible. but i’d assume the maturity level was equal. mush older and i think it could be creepy

[HippieVeganJewslim]

Nothing wrong with that, if both agree with it.

[Brando10222]

As long as you don't call it a relationship or have sex it's fine

[CharlieDMX]

As long as you both consent, it's OK. Age difference ain't that big though

[TroyDT2]

What is the age of consent where you live?

[Asker]

It is 18

[Stevefiveo]

If he makes you happy, then no.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Depends on the age of consent

[ThebestIndian]

Having sexual stuff at 17 is illegal.

[TroyDT2]

Depends upon the state / nation. Most states in the USA have 16 as age of consent and several others have 17.

[HippieVeganJewslim]

I had sex at age 12. Should I go to jail?

[misogynistic_pig]

No.

.