Guys, will an older woman who’s still a virgin drive you away or scare/turn you off?

[Pinay_ako]

[DaveJord]

Yes, at my age that would be Red Flag to me. Means she's made it to 33 without being a serious committed romantic relationship or sexual relationship... so she had no experience with those these. Sexual relationship changes the dynamics of any relationships... and usually people her age has been through it a few times and have acquired a level of emotional maturity that has equipped her with better knowledge in how best to approach these types of relationships.

See there is a difference between knowledge and wisdom... you can acquire knowledge through all types of means, reading, learning, training... but wisdom can only be achieved when you apply knowledge with practical experience. So, a 33-year-old virgin lacks any practical experience and to less degree any true wisdom when it comes to sexual relationships.

It also can be indicator of possible "RED FLAGS", because there is a higher probability that she has elevated levels of insecurities when comes to sex, that usually stem from some level of miss trust, doubt and confidence. They will hide behind things like their fair or values... but even 90% of Christen women with high level of self-esteem have meet men, married or had sex by 33, so it's a RED FLAG to me. At my age and with my experience I find women with these types of issues exhausting.

[Havthrills]

I just want to be clear. You're saying it's a red flag because she has no experience?

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

@Havthrills if he is not saying that I am.

[DaveJord]

@Havthrills More or less, but not experience in-between the sheets or with sex in general... but no experience with being and a truly intimate and committed relationship. As anyone knows once you start having sex, the level of commitment increase within are relationship... and expectations change. So yes, it's because she has no experience within that type of relationship.

In my experience some who is still a virgin at 33 has places some type of unrealistic expectations on sex, and how it they think these types of relationships are supposed to work, versus the reality they eventually do work.

It's not about just sex... but that is what people want to make it about, and most these people that disagree with is because it all went right over their heads... and they do have the guts like you to as the really and right questions... they want to maintain their animality.

[DaveJord]

Sorry for all the typos some was talking to me while I was typing.

[DaveJord]

Disagree or not, most people that are honest and sincere and genuine... are not into virgins at my age... and the ones that are not into them for the right reasons. Thats the truth and they can disagree, but it does not change the reality.

[Monalisa77]

can't really help it if we haven't had opportunities

[Monalisa77]

And how are we supposed to get those if blokes write us off? We might actually be good at it first time

[DaveJord]

@Monalisa77 its not about being good at sex. Its about having relationship experience.. maybe it isn't the blokes... maybe it has something to do with you. You basically have never been in seriously romantic and committed relationship.

[Monalisa77]

Well its not really my fault, I've got quite a lot of health issues and abusive /controlling parents. Everytime i try to make friends people don't want to know and they back stab you. I think i would make a good girlfriend but blokes can be too shallow, even if someone did like me they probably wouldn't ask me out. I've got quite the imagination, im loyal, honest, funny, fierce, dertimined to succeed. Im trying to improve everyday im also very picky when it comes to blokes i like and im too shy currently as my crush keeps avoiding me

[DaveJord]

@Monalisa77 Not blaming you personally, or saying it's your fault, just saying all of that amounts to potential Big Red Flag, I mean you need a man to really want to take that on, before sex within a relationship, which you are already extremely mistrusting of. This speaks directly to my point.

[Monalisa77]

I don't think it should be an issue to want to trust someone is genuine about you before you go through with it, i have quite an imagination in my head about how i would go about it, i wouldn't put the burden completely on them as id want them 2 enjoy spending time with me. I have a fair idea what goes on

[Monalisa77]

I think a guy would have a lot more respect for me for wanting to be able to trust them and not shag them straight away. The guy i like atm I've pretty much lustful thoughts for, he's the hottest guy I've seen in my life and he does things 2 me no1 else has done, i don't think im particularly innocent just because I've not done it, infact probably the opposite 😂😂id be fired if my boss knew my thoughts

[Monalisa77]

I think even though i look innocent, if i had the chance to show a different side of me it could open up more possibilities

[DaveJord]

@Monalisa77 Again, you have how you imagine it in hour head, but you have no practical experience with actually doing it, because you have some mental blocks or expectations on things that you expect from a man first... which you to date have not gotten or achieved.

So again, you are exhibiting and saying all the things that speaks directly to my initial point... you have all this knowledge but lacking in experience and a wisdom. How do think you fell after the act; how do you think the relationship should progress after sex... You lived 31 years putting so much emphasis on having sex for the first time, then it happens then what? What comes next, do you think he will be your prince charming, and you will live happily ever after?

[Monalisa77]

So that means i should never have a chance and be single forever? Its not very fair. Everyone is a Virgin at some point

[Monalisa77]

Actually no, i have a lot of anxities which makes me worry would cause a break up.

[Monalisa77]

What if i find someone who matches me in personality and we have something, so he not going to persue me cos I've no experience and ignore whatever we have?

[DaveJord]

@Monalisa77 I am not speaking for all men, just me.

[Xtendable]

Gotta play catch-up

[devilish-cutie]

some will have issue with it and some will not, it really depends on the guy

and if a guy would mind it then she is not a girl for him, not saying that the guy is in the wrong but that guy probably isn't for her and she is not for him

[dustybiker]

They rarely shy from opportunities like that.

[Avicenna]

Guys would not be bothered about that at all- only if she says she'll never have sex

[ManOnFire]

That actually sounds really hot.

[ObscuredBeyond]

It all depends on her attitude with me. I tend to go for non-virgins, because they tend to be slightly less likely to be completely stuck-up, delusional, and self-righteous.

Non-virgins are also less likely to get easily weirded out by every little thing, see predation where none exists, and be lying little cowards.

I also realize that unless she's a total nerd, she probably has no idea what a machinomic is, and won't understand my passion for making them.

However, non-virgins can accept that you are passionate about a craft they didn't know existed. They don't automatically try to convince everyone that you're Patrick Bateman, out to eat their brains or whatever, just because they don't understand your hobbies.

A few too many virgins have been the types to act like if I don't eat at Buffalo Wild Wings every freakin' Saturday and have a ginormous 4k TV for watching the NFL with, that this somehow means I'm some bush jumper. It's pretty pathetic.

If you had to shop for a Blu-ray player, but got treated like you're Harvey Weinstein if you take just one second too long analyzing the package of a potential purchase to see what features that model supports (like 3D), and this happened every single freaking time you entered Wal-Mart, before you even got to finish reading the menu to find what you're looking for, you'd get pretty sick of being treated that way, right?

That's when I'd be more inclined to take my chances with whatever the hell Goodwill has in stock. It might just need to be dusted. It might be a disaster piece. It may be traumatized from playing Frozen for the little brats too many times. But if it will play my Doomsday Preppers season 4 DVDs, it's good.

Similar thing with women. That analogy makes sense, right?

[NathanDavis]

it all depends... in the very first thing that I ever learn from someone or they tell me about this

" I am a virgin, problem or not? "

then that might be an issue... lol

it will make me think and wonder about what are the reasons, or ideas, or beliefs and all these things can be a distraction from other things that are more important to me like your personality or your character or many other things that to me, are more significant and meaningful to someone as they person they truly are, lol

[Summeroflove]

Virginity is something that should be valued. I’m someone who believes in waiting until marriage. So, I would have no problem with it.

I think it says. She has morals. Obviously she’s a beautiful woman. So. She has dignity and self respect as well as respect for the man who she will be with.

I think. The type of men who just like to have sex. If they were given the opportunity they would take it. The problem is. If they aren’t given it. They’re gone pretty fast…

[Summeroflove]

She’s not even that old. She’s in her 30s.

[Summeroflove]

I’m fact. A lot of the most beautiful and handsome people you could meet are virgins. You can’t tell by looking at someone.

It’s the ones who… might. It wanna be with. Who are more of the freaks

[ZackBan]

With respect: this woman is coping.

No one is "scared" and shaking in a corner because she's a virgin.
She's just unattractive and I would assume her personality is not too much better so men stay away. She says they are scared.

I used to have that problem, I had 0 social skills and would always say "oh women are intimidated by my intensity and are afraid they can't handle me" but the truth is I just didn't know what women wanted and how social interactions are supposed to go.
And when I learned that, me, the same person managed to become very good with women, objectively good.

[PinkRose24]

Some women are saving their selves for marriage like myself.

[Realistic07]

Neither option.


Who am I to say how another person lives their life. Virginity, non-virginity.
Who cares as long as they’re living their best life, and moving forward.


We are all different and have different points of views, lifestyles, or events that even occurred in our lives. Who am I to judge anyone for their path in life, The time it takes to walk that path, and should one not want to be judged maybe one should practice the same which is why I really don’t judge others.


Oh well that’s my two cents in it. Hopefully it has contributed something to the topic.

[Realistic07]

In addition if I’m not prepared to take that path with that person then why the hell would I try and be with them?

Just saying that people make choices and those who are prepared to be in a relationship like that should really consider not being in one. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and there’s no reason to try an test the waters.

[Realistic07]

“Aren’t”

[OpenClose]

I'm not sure I've heard of virginity being a turn-off in women. I mean I could imagine some overanalyzing it as some red flag, or I guess in myself I could picture it being an asexual relationship because she is probably against premarital sex. Something easily overcome with just a quick conversation or her wanting to hit the bedroom.

As a guy, I'm more worried about how I would be perceived being a virgin who recently passed 30. I feel like there's more riding on it, because I don't think people really care about a woman's "skill" or "stamina" in bed, but it is ALWAYS called into question with men. And I feel like this is a strong red flag for women, who seem to hold more weight on a man's reputation with other women. Sort of "I can't accept him because other women must have deemd him unacceptable" or something.

[Chazmatazz269]

Big turn-off! There’s no substitute for experience, especially regarding sex. Have SOME idea how to please me, or know EVERYTHING i need to know about pleasing you, preferably both! I ain’t got time and energy to train a new kid on everything! Ell oh ell!

[Pinay_ako]

Why don’t you teach her?

[Chazmatazz269]

Because i’m from the US, and that’s delayed satisfaction. We don’t do delayed satisfaction here! Ell oh ell!

[SoIcyGang]

She must have very strange beliefs or emotional problems. I've dated plenty of girls with really fucked up beliefs. Like emotional baggage is one things. Beliefs about relationships, sex, men and women qua men and women. I've had to dump girls because they believe the most ridiculous shit.

This woman would be an immediate next. I'm not unpacking all that bullshit for her. Her mind must be a whirlwind of madness.

[Berethor]

I prefer a virgin, and men are scared because of her age, not virginity, he is hitting the wall. :)

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/no_hymen,_no_diamond

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hit%20The%20Wall

[Adam1978]

Depends on if I find it likely to be true or just one of those who think they can declare themselves virgins again. It's really not a merit at that age. There is very few paths that leads women to be virgins at this age and most signal that she is a bad pick. So yeah if you have better options you probably go for them than gamble with this one.

[mickmrly]

35 isn’t really old, but to answer the question, no I opulent be turned off. Sometimes it takes a while to find someone you feel like being intimate with. Doing a quickie with some random person just to say you’ve lost your virginity is rather pointless in the scheme of things.

[Angelo75]

I'd say... it's more than a logical part of our brains that will tell us:
"Well... if she's been alone so long, then probably no one has met her super high standards?"
And then we'd say: "Nahhh! Leave me alone. I got better things to do with my time than fight super hard to your high standards."

But maybe it's just me.

[king34]

Yeah because it's either one of 3 things, 1 she's waiting for marriage or the right man, and has curved hundreds if not thousands of men over the course of decades, which means her standards must be high as fuck and I'm just going to be next on the choping block. 2 she just can't find a relationship because she's crazy, or 3 she's just lying
Any way you cut it it isn't a good look, I do condone waiting until marriage tho

[pizzalovershouse]

I would have to date till she felt comfortable which if it's a yr before fooling around then I have to say ater a few months I can't be your guy sex isn't everything but if your into each other an feel love for one another or really care for themit isn't going to work out sense they can't trust you to make love to them eve though you use protection an are std free there's no real trust an no relationship

[normalice]

Yes. I would have to conclude sex just isn't a priority for her. Though, maybe if it's just because she really likes anal it could certianly work out, but there's no way to know that just by knowing she is a virgin.

[Heolurt]

Guys aren't afraid they just don't believe most females especially ones of slightly advanced age are virgins, they might also wonder what's wrong with her that she's still a virgin at that age when 99% of females are all about that hot girl summer shit.

[PinkRose24]

Some women like myself are saving their selves for marriage

[MrPickles13]

I wouldn't have an issue with that as long as I liked her. I don't see why it would matter if you like and care for them this is a part of that. If you wished to have a sex life and they were a virgin for a reason then its just maybe not ment to be but I wouldn't class that as scaring then off for that reason.

[DannyUk2017]

Drives me away, scares, turns me off... can i use all 3? As seriously i had to "deal" with virgin's before, and nooo way! Had enough! Too much work, too much convincing, freaking out after not being a virgin nomore... nah, not for me, Thanks!

[77five]

Freaking out how? Like excited or anxious?

[DannyUk2017]

@77five excited at first but then literally freaked out... 🤷‍♂️