My boyfriend hates that I wear PHYSICIST T-SHIRTS…is it a deal breaker?

[Anonymous]

I’m currently getting my phd in physics (Astro focused) and I guess my whole life revolves around space, physicists and people that truly inspire me.

i have a big collection of casual t-shirts with Einstein, newton, Bohr, Planck, Feynman, schrodinger, hawking and so on that I wear out and feel comfortable in.

i usually style them well and don’t look homeless but he hates that I admire these physicists so much and wishes I would wear more sexier things.

i do occasionally dress up on special occasions.

it’s getting me down how he doesn’t appreciate my life’s goals, my inspirations and so on to the point I’m thinking he’s not for me

what can I do

is this a deal breaker

[caring__1]

It sounds like a deal breaker... not necessarily due to the T-shirts, but he appears to have issues with the direction you are going in life. Maybe he feels threatened by your education and intelligence. That isn't a good sign. You're life's goals and inspirations are important to you, and you want to be with someone who can get excited about your excitement, not feel threatened by it. You're partner doesn't necessarily need to be a rocket scientist, but you don't want someone whose insecurities get in the way of a healthy relationship. My son is much like you. Though his knowledge may surpass mine in certain areas, he still reaches out when my knowledge surpasses his in others. Neither of us feel threatened by our differences. Those differences actually help both of us grow. I love hearing him share what he can about challenges he solves for spacecraft. I respect the fact he can't share everything. Much is secret or top secret.

[Asker]

That’s amazing about your son! And yes I agree on some aspect he may be threatened by my career choice not because I’d say I’m more intelligent I just think he’s into things not necessarily science related.

We actually met in Ibiza when I was doing part time modelling, he is an events manager. He’s love drinking, partying, glamorous type of life.

He hasn’t directly said he doesn’t like my career choice but with the fact he can’t stand that I look up to these scientists so much I wear t-shirts with their faces, he says it’s weird to be looking up to “old boring people” when in actual fact they are some of the most important in history

[caring__1]

I'm sure he'd like for you to get excited about things that excite him. To not reciprocate in kind leads me to believe he is probably too self-focused to be a healthy partner. He may feel like a fish out of water when it comes to science, but he's the one making it into a problem. I can appreciate a work of art, even without any formal training in art or art of my own to display. His minimizing what energizes you is not a good sign for a relationship. How long would he stick around if he tells you what excites him in bed and you respond with, "Ain't gonna happen here"? Be true to yourself. Never mold yourself to fit what someone else wants to see. Understand different people can still be respectful and considerate of the feelings of others, even when we don't share those feelings.

[Luckycharms12]

Maybe it is seem like very small thing why can't one of you back down if you are both happy

[NathanDavis]

drop him like it's Jupiter... 24.79 m/s²

[Anonymous]

You're really smart right. Well the data is pretty clear isn't it.