Guys - Would it push u away if a woman you’re dating said this?

[Anonymous]

I’m dating this guy. He’s quite busy but his replies can be like 9 hours especially when he drinks sooo much and goes out clubbing all the time. He said he really likes me and thinks I’m the most attractive woman ever and he is good with his words but his replies really annoy me.

I was planning to say when he next replies:

’I don’t like you’re inconsistency babe, if you want me you’re gonna have to try harder🤣’ or is this pyscho? I just have a fear of seeming pyscho. Im trying to say it in a jokey way since he’s very like jokey and likes jokes kinda thing. I’ve only met him twice though but we speak everyday and he claims he wants a relationship with me. But I don’t wanan waste my time if he’s gonna take long when there’s plenty other people who are trying hard with me. But I want this guy.

[itsJay]

Being honest, it sounds pretty avoidant to say that even if it's in a joking type of tone. Because even if you're trying to make it not sound that serious, it actually is isn't it?

In another perspective it can be considered knowing & showing your worth, but having someone you're interested in pretty much tell you they're thinking of leaving because of their texting consistency, does nothing but radicalise an anxious attachment style to grow. And that's simply not healthy.

There are better ways to ask for better text communication. I think he'd respect the request more if you were simply open and honest about what you'd like, with the intent of positive growth and enforcement. 💜

[Asker]

Yes I was thinking that too, that’s what I’d usually do in this situation I’d be open and honest. But he seems like the type to like things that aren’t too serious and quite unserious if that makes sense? I do want to be nice about it but I feel like he will see it as overly emotional.

[itsJay]

If he likes you as much as he says he does, then he will validate your feelings and listen to you regardless of it being serious.

Adding positive enforcement to the request would help. "Hearing from you makes me really happy, so I'd love it if you could text me more often :)" Something like that lol 💜

[Anonymous]

You’re not the one. A man will change for that one special person. You’re not it. I’d move on. You know I was really interested in this girl who I was so in love w since I met her. She she finally took an interest I was in the military. When I got deployed to the Middle East my first time I woke up in the middle of the night just to talk to her for an hour or two via email as we were con two completely different time frames. This dude you speak of can’t even text or call you now. He’s still out clubbing, drinking, etc, not a start.

[Anonymous]

So he’s dating another woman, he slept with over 100 women, 9 hours to respond, and you still want him to work to try and get you? Don’t you see he’s not that guy to get serious with? It’s been two weeks, don’t fall into the trap of picking yet another user man. You’ll be so disappointed.

[Bethany22]

That sounds assertive, not psycho

[Guy13]

I wouldn’t waste my time on a club and body hopper…,

[Twalli]

It doesn't sound like a joke, but it doesn't sound psycho. Say that you really want to make the relationship work, but you need to see him putting in effort. The relationship cannot last if you're the only one trying to make it work, and if he can't put in effort himself you may have to find someone who is willing to put in effort. Make it clear that you don't want anyone else, but you also need someone who is willing to show that they want you a lot more than he's currently doing.

[Summeroflove]

Eh... It seems like maybe he isn't the best. I don't know. 9 hours is a long time to respond especially if something is important. If you really like him then try a few dates and see how it goes.

[Truthatanycost]

Clubs are low vibration. Drinking to excess is low vibration. You are wasting your time... but then a lot of women appear to be attracted to low vibration.

[Noodle_fan]

i think it is good text to sent

the most thing is being honest , dont hesitate to say/text anything about how u feel , i also believe , general speaking , men prefer women who are direct rather than they have to read their mind

[slatyb]

Why do you want the guy with a drinking problem?

[Asker]

Cuz I drink a lot myself too lol but not as much as him