Am I expecting too much?

[Supernatural_girl]

I am 22 years old. I want a relationship that leads to marriage, but most of the guys I like are either married or see me as some annoying 11 year old. Or there are they guys that say they want to date me and they run for the hills when they find out I'm a Christian. Then there are the sleezy cheaters.

Am I asking too much for a guy to share in my believes and stay committed to me?

[DaveJord]

At 22 years old, with guys your own age... yeah you probably have unrealistic expectations for most guys. My rule is I will not talk about marriage until I have lived with someone for at least a year, and I will not live with someone unless we have been dating for at least a year before that.

So, your 22, so if you are talking or even bringing up marriage as a serious want before we have been dating for at least 6 months... it's a red flag for most guys. If we have been dating for more than a month without sex, and you are talking about Christain values, then I am gone. Honestly, one that talks about being Christain or about how important Jesus is to them within the first few weeks of dating is Red Flag to me. I am just not that person.

So, you probably should stick to Christain men, but even then, most of them are Christain and believe in Christ... but they are still men and have all the same needs and wants that men have and want from a woman. I mean the values Christ taught are important, but he was the son of God, most men know they are sinners and want to sin on some level... because that is the natural state of man... it's what we have been genetically engineered to do.

[SamK20]

No, you're not asking too much, that's a reasonable want.

Unfortunately, like you said, a lot of guys play games and lie, or run for the hills.

I'm also Christian, and 22, interesting.

[jorfan3]

No you're not, because I'm in a committed relationship with a Christian guy. But I also live in the Bible belt.

"Delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart" is the verse I followed to find my husband (Psalm 37:4) I prayed a lot too.

Have you considered trying a website, to stretch your net farther than where you live? I know some people don't like the idea, but God gives us tools to help us sometimes. You can pray about it, and see who's out there, and ask for guidance while dating.

For me, dating was horribly messy (I almost married the wrong guy), but I met my man and read the signs he was the right one, but most of all, he FELT like the right one.

I'll pray for your success.

[itsalyssaagain]

Sis if you don’t mind me asking. At what age did you meet your husband?

I’m 25 and I haven’t FELT that way with anyone yet. I think my time hasn’t come but curious to know about your experience.

[jorfan3]

@itsalyssaagain I met my husband at 24. We met at work. We became best friends almost instantly. I say almost because we lost each other's email XD He wasn't really a strong Christian, but he has become a stronger Christian now. I've always been more attracted to agnostic men. He was on the border between both. But now he is a Christian. I didn't change him. He just became a stronger Christian through my example.

[itsalyssaagain]

That’s nice :)

[itsalyssaagain]

I felt the same at your age. My best advice is just to date while staying true to your values. The more you date, the more you will learn about yourself and your needs in a relationship. Then you can settle down with the right one for you. I know this might sound harsh, but the likelihood of your perfect man just appearing at your doorstep without you taking any steps to make it happen is very, very little.

[inhua]

I'd say no based on what you've described. it looks to be all internal characteristics like personality, character, values and not external characteristics like looks, height, money.

nothing wrong with wanting a guy to stay committed to you, though proving it to them you are worth committing to is an entirely different matter.

[Lionman95]

No but we live in a day and age where dating can be hard and difficult because it´s a time where many young people are at different stages in their life while they are the same age. When I was 22 I just had started to come out of a porn addiction but I was no where from being ready for marriage.

So keep looking but also have patience and pray about it. Because that´s definetely a thing to pray about.

[Vegasrunner]

@Supernatural_girl All depends on your appearance. The hotter a women is the more a guy will tolerate. 20 something yr old men aren't generally looking for marriage nor should they be in my opinion so you're going to have to provide something to force a guy to go against his natural sexual strategy and settle for just you.

[Supernatural_girl]

I look like I'm my brothers 13 year old kid.

[Vegasrunner]

@Supernatural_girl Obviously there is no way to know what that looks like.

[Adam1978]

You have to date in church, sharing faith is otherwise too much to ask. Religion is unpopular among young people for a good reason. They want to think for themselves.

[DizzyDesii]

You're not asking for too much. Those guys you met are just not enough and you should continue to look elsewhere

[LittleMelissa9614]

No, it's not too much. That's what I expect to when it comes to that. I date to marry! And someday have a family.

[Emilyis]

You are a Christian, STOP looking for a husband. He will come along and may even surprise you.

[Berethor]

I don't think so, but there is many guys nowadays that just looking for easy sex.

[Shamalien]

Does he have to be christian? What if he has christian values but isn’t religious? Sometimes our strict criteria causes us to miss out on people who would actually male great partners for us

[rienna888]

You gotta focus on yourself and make yourself your own dream woman. Physically and mentally. Then the boys will go crazy for you

[Z1pTD]

No you aren't expecting to much. If they can't accept that you have core beliefs and be play with thag regardless of their opi ion they aren't worth your time. You'll find the one, don't worry!

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I agree with you, you are not asking for too much

[Anonymous]

Yes, you are I was the same way. But once I messed up god was kind and forgiving and sent me a good man after

[Opinion Owner]

To pull me out of the path of sin

[Stevefiveo]

You are not asking for too much. Although what you are looking for is very rare. Stick with your beliefs, the right guy will come along someday.

[Twalli]

It's hard for guys your age to wait until marriage for sex.

[exitseven]

I think you will find somebody.

[Iron_Man]

Go for it

[In_Trance]

Yeah

[ZenJen444]

You have issues. You need a therapist.

[Supernatural_girl]

Trust me. I know I have issues and a lot of them steam from PTSD and guys that try to take advantage of me. So stop judging before you understand why other people are certain way.

[ZenJen444]

Girl please, go get therapy