My boyfriend wants me to lose 10 lbs, if not he will leave me?

Question

So before COVID i literally lived at the gym. I love to workout and do weights but when COVID happened it all changed. He had a talk with me in now I needed to lose weight, and he told me the right way.
I listened and I was like you’re right I need to get back to it.
We live together, so that was an adjustment for me and I also work and go to school, so I was trying to find the time to workout.
It was tough and I wasn’t doing so great as I was and he was unhappy.
All in total I lost 25 lbs and I haven’t gone up.
I am supposed to weight 130 which is my ideal weight according to my height and age.
He gave me time to meet it, until December.
It is December and I weigh 140. He is unhappy with me and I know he is going to leave me because of it and it sucks. I tried. Yes I could have done better but I really tried and put in the effort.

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

Dang, that is really strict. Is he a drill instructor? He has a strong ethic around physical appearance and conditioning who knows why. I suspect you just need to eat differently as you age, you need to change your diet/intake. That's worth it anyways. But what happens when you have a baby... that's not gonna feel good to be under threat...

I'd say oh well and move on, or go pay a visit to your local psychologist/therapist for some quality time with him. A big part of relationship is security... whether it's emotional or physical, it's the same. If you are under threat of being left behind, that's not good... and maybe that's what's really going on with him.

There's a saying in the US Military..."we don't leave a brother behind". That is security and trust! That creates unity in the relationship of the small unit... you'll die for your brother in arms! Even Jesus on the cross said..."I am with you til the end of the age [basically forever]. That is very reassuring! This guy you have... he's got a screw loose...

He doesn't understand yet...

SteveSmith1985 · Accepted Answer

This is BULLSHIT. This whole thing is super messed up! What do you mean your boyfriend wants you to lose 10 pounds or he'll leave you? Your boyfriend (no offence to you) is a piece of fucking garbage! Are you listening to yourself right now?

This is wrong. This is wrong in SO many ways!

Please take a step back, and try and look at your situation from a more objective perspective.

WHat kind of (asshole) boyfriend... would act this way?

Deadlines? "talks about how you need to lose weight"? Threats to leave you if you don't lose weight.

You are in an abusive relationship.

Please, google "emotionally abusive relationship". You are in one.

This made my blood boil to read.

This is not normal. This is not OK!!!

LazerBean · Accepted Answer

It sounds like he's doing you a favor by leaving you. I don't know why you would put up with him anyway.

Summeroflove · Answer

Let him leave. Find someone better who really loves you

loveslongnails · Answer

You need your head examined girl. Listen to what LazerBean is telling you, and I'm going to tell you the same - he's doing you a FAVOR by leaving NOW. Just imagine what he'd say if you became ill with something that required longer term care? He'd dump you in nanosecond.

I don't know what your insecurity is that makes you want to stay, but this guy doesn't love YOU, he loves how you looked. Now that you don't "look" that way, he's going to withdraw his "love" if you don't get back to that in "X" amount of time?

If you agree you have to lose weight, do it for yourself, not for this asshole's ultimatum. You know what would be even better? Lose 15 pounds, and then leave HIM!! This is not a man you want around for the long term.

oddwaffle · Answer

I don't know women leave men when they become unemployed and can't get a job. It's normal he will leave you if you are no longer fit.

Weight control is hard. I know. I tried and I failed. I kept trying. Never once I would think my failures would mean anything until I succeed.

If he's going to leave then he's going to leave. You can't stop him. You can't make him like you. You can only change yourself so one day you can be fabulous and tell him "I am fabulous and you don't deserve me."

Anonymous · Answer

Lol fuck that POS. He’s doing you a favor. I mean duck you tried, you lost a good amount, not all but there were clearly results. Besides you should have done it cause you know you needed to for health reasons. Not cause some POS threatened to leave you. I’d love you more especially if that 10 lbs meant a more plump ass. Sorry for the statement. But seriously kick his ass to the curb. Pull that trigger first before he does. Come up w some dick excuse reason like he can’t satisfy you in bed see how he takes it. Fucking corn dog of a man you got there.

JPresidente · Answer

He's kinda a bum for doing it and the approach is wrong BUT you have to admit that his motivation worked and you did well. Dump his ass, hit the gym, rock your bod proudly and tell him this is what he could have had permanently if he hadn't been an ahole.

SnowedIn · Answer

Dump. Him. Now. Leave him. Don't let him leave you, you leave him. Eat a piece of cake as you drive away from him and count yourself lucky.

20yearsolder · Answer

I only read where it says your boyfriend wants you to lose 10 lb or he will leave you. Find a new boyfriend. He's a fucking douche.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

Leave him. Get healthy for yourself and find someone who will adore you for who you are, not how much you weigh

Anonymous · Answer

Get rid of that worthless useless prick. Tell him to get 6 pack or 8 pack abs or you'll leave him. My girl lost to much weight recently and i told her she needed to gain some weight back not for her looks but for health reasons. What i was doing was expressing concern for her physical health and well being but i didn't give her some stupid asinine ultermatim or any stupid asinine deadline. What he did was just plain wrong.

Guardian45 · Answer

ANYONE who pressures you to lose weight, you should tell them to GO FnCK themselves and dump their sorry ass!

exitseven · Answer

You are doing great during a very difficult time. Your boyfriend is being a jerk.

Wise4myage · Answer

Do yourself a huge favor, and be the one who dumps him.

AmeerX · Answer

I wouldn't leave but I would motivate the person. He is only attracted to your body

Anonymous · Answer

Just imagine how much you're going to stress eat after he dumps you to. 😆😆😆

spartan55 · Answer

He is doing you a big favor trust me.

misogynistic_pig · Answer

I don't like fat girls either.

Anonymous · Answer

That isn't a relationship, its a job.

sassyredhead · Answer

Leave him

OddBeMe · Answer

Dump him.

My boyfriend wants me to lose 10 lbs, if not he will leave me?

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