Anyways. Am I overreacting, or should I take his advice?
My boyfriend is pressuring me to lose weight. What should I do?
Anyways. Am I overreacting, or should I take his advice?
Fuck him.
My wife's always had bad body dysphoria, thanks in part to a "supportive" family member who went as far as encouraging & paying for gastric band surgery (which she describes in no uncertain terms as one of worst decisions she ever made. This is all before I came along, and I was so happy when she went through with the surgery to have it removed again). I've seen how she has to deal with that part of her that's always saying she can't have any value as a person unless she's below a certain weight. If I'd needed her to be a certain weight before I could love her? Before I could value her as a person? Then I would have had no right to be her partner, let alone her husband.
So yeah. Normally I'm super reasonable and polite about these kind of things, but this is something where I've had to watch it hurt the woman I love, over and over again. Fuck this guy. I'm sure he has his good qualities but in this he is failing you as a partner. If he can't figure out how to support you in dealing body dysphoria then you owe it to yourself to find a partner who can.
120 pounds? According to the BMI calculator, that is a normal weight if you are between 4'10 and 5'7. Your boyfriend is both ignorant and obnoxious. Do not attempt to lose weight, 120 pounds is perfect. Your boyfriend is both ignorant and obnoxious and he's stressing you out. Who needs that? Dump him and find a guy who appreciates you.
You should tell him to kiss your ass.
Why would you want to be with a man that insults and degrades you? Is he perfect? in my opinion you should tell him this is unacceptable and you are not going to become anorexic to please him and that if he truly loves you, he needs to accept you the way you are or find someone new.
If he truly cared about you (especially since you say you suffer from dysphoria) he wouldn't be encouraging you to change your appearance whatsoever (unless he hears you complain about being fat and is trying to get you to do something about it) That would be one thing..
However, its my own personal experience that when a man starts bugging you about your weight, it means he doesn't find you appealing anymore and is most likely cheating or at the very least, considering it.
You should rethink the relationship if looks are more important to him than your health.
If you're 120 lbs (depending on your height) chances are you are either 100% fine and you're both delusional or you have a high body fat percentage, which is easily fixable through a proper diet and exercise. I wouldn't advise your goal be losing weight but rather gaining lean muscle IF that's the issue.
But on to the real problem: your partner should never be pressuring you to lose weight unless you are in bad health. Even then they should be a little more constructive. I advise you make that known to this "boyfriend" of yours.
You know how to you could easily lose a bunch of weight, like really quickly? And it's guaranteed I promise.
Best way to lose 150-190lb of dead weight is to tell him to go fuck himself and that you're perfectly fine and healthy the way you are. It'll be the best diet you ever go on
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You need to drop him. Seriously. You are at a healthy weight and he's just trying to manipulate you. He knows you have body dysmorphia and he's playing into that.
I'd dump him and never look back.
Focus on school and your work like you want to.
And seek professional help with your body dysmorphia. Not because you have to but you struggle with it. Why struggle with it if their are people out there to help is my point. You'll be a much better well rounded person if you do and you'll see guys like him in the beginning and won't continue things.
if you were like 5'7'' 250-and above I would understand but if you make any attempts to diet during your focus on school it's gonna fuck up your metabolism. I'm no doctor by the way or a psychiatrist but he doesn't sound healthy for you. I have dated heavy women most of my life and I feel bad when I have to tell them to lose weight and it's not cause I want a super model it's because I care. lots of guys would give a right nut or a right wing to be with a woman of your stature so I think you should just ignore him whenever he brings it up.
I strobgly disagree with all of this people. They have probably talked about it and they both agreed. Its fine, its feedback, not accepting feedback stops growth.
That said, I tjink your weight its normal, but I you want to lose weight and your boyfriebd wants its too, just tell him you are into it and please to be patient. He will probably feel "relieved". Then, some weeks/months later, be again the one taking the initive and tell him about your results, and that you are still going to try to lose more (if thats the case). If you do this but he still insists, then maybe you should tell him to really stop.
Leave this loser. A girl I know who was about your size had a douche bag of a boyfriend too who would tell her to lose weight. She didn't need to lose any weight! Now she has become anorexic and addicted to laxatives. She is dying quickly. Do not listen to him.
It's unhealthy for someone you're dating to tell you to lose weight. He's not a doctor or a dietitian so he's not to judge. You should dump him because having a toxic person around a person with body dysmorphia doesn't help. Being in shape and losing weight are two different things. You should eating right and do light stretching.
120 lbs and 5'7, yet your boyfriend wants you to lose weight. I'd get it if you were fifty pounds more and you weren't his body type, but at your weight I think you shouldn't lose any weight. I think your boyfriend is into anorexic people. Lol
Haha. Well, where he's from I think girls are generally shorter and skinnier. So, I think I'm fat. comparatively. I'm just trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. But I don't know how much longer I can deal.
Where's he from then?
Japan
Oh, well that makes sense now. Lol
If he cannot love and accept you for who you are, dump his ass. You don't need someone who doesn't care about your feelings.
just try to focus a bit on your caloric intake if you wanna lose weight but it´s probably more sensible to advance your own life untill you have a steady job. if you have a job, you can start focusing on working out and finding a better guy if you have to :D
@Megalyssa yeah I just googled. I'm one of those metric suckers... I don't think she should lose weight but if that's what she wants, she should at least make it the last priority.
@Megalyssa well she has apparently self image issues so any guy telling her would probably make her want to.
He should not pressure you at all, if he was concerned with your health then he would be kind and supportive about it, if my converter works correctly so is 120lbs around 55kg and i have a hard time to belive that you would be overweight so dont let him poison your mind.
None of my business but no girl deserves a guy who
pressures her into losing weight that is lot to handle.
You are in a bad relationship with guy who is treating
the way this guys doing to you, i believe you deserve
better.
Well you have to ask the question. Does he love ❤ me for me , if so why is he trying to control me. Love ❤ is never about control, but love ❤ is allowing your mate to be who they are and love ❤ them for the person they are. Only if your doing something destructive should he push you to make a change, even so he should do that tenderly
You are tiny girl. Unless you were like 5 years old and weighed that much. Haha, your good. Lose it if you want to. If you don't.. then don't !
Wow, what a douche. You weigh 120 and he's talking like it's a problem?
Honestly, I think you should dump him.
I think you should do whatever will make YOU happy 😊
Dump him. You don't need that kind of negativity. Having an intimate partner criticize your weight is horrible. It's not warranted and you don't deserve to be treated that way.
Dump him. I would drop a guy in.5 seconds if he told me to lose weight.
Nope he is very superficial and a jerk. Tell him he needs to bulk up and have large muscles... seriously give him a taste of his own medicine. Them dump him because he sounds like a shallow asshole
If you don't love me at my 2007 Gucci, you don't deserve me at my 2017 Gucci. Leave him. You're only going to keep thinking you'll never look good enough.
demand he do everything you do >:) every calorie cut, every step measured.
So your boyfriend degrades you by calling you ugly. Clearly he doesn't care about your feelings.
Reconsider your relationship
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