Would you date someone who never worked because they had a trust fund?

Question

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

20 years ago, I was on a web forum that was fairly technical, and I used to write articles. A girl had joined, and she was well educated and knowledgeable, and she eventually started talking to me about my articles, and writing some of her own. She eventually asked me to write a big, consolidated article with her, based on several of my earlier ones plus some new information, and tie everything together.

We did this, all online, and I only ever knew her first name, and that she was European but spent time in the US. Then she got injured and needed knee surgery, and she went to Stanford Medical Center in the Bay Area (my general area) for the surgery.

I ended up meeting her, and she was essentially my ideal type of girl physically (I'm sure that was NOT true of me to her), and we had not only similar interests, but similar morals, values, and a similar craving for knowledge. She respected me intellectually in a way that she didn't for a lot of people.

We got along great, but I learned that she wasn't wealthy like I thought (her leg was injured in a polo horse collision, and polo isn't a sport for middle class people). The kind of wealthy she was is the "my family has owned banks for 7 generations" kind. She was a multimillionaire before she was out of high school, because just her associations gave her opportunities to make money and invest. Her passive income back then was many multiples of my current income, much less than what I was making at the time. She was also technically a princess, though she rolled her eyes at that.

As much as I wanted to pursue her romantically, I didn't. Not only would her family never accepted me, but I could have never kept up with her financially. She didn't live a lavish lifestyle, per se, but she traveled a lot, and usually by private plane, of which her family owned several. She certainly wasn't lazy and kept herself busy and productive, but she'd never had a JOB - she had board seats and investment opportunities. That was never going to square with my lower middle class past. As grounded as she was (surprisingly so), there were just things that she would never be able to relate to. She was 23 and had a staff...

WindAtMyBack · Accepted Answer

No. For someone my age it doesn't really apply. But for young people it matters. People who don't ever work don't develop right. The work itself, but especially the need to go to work every day whether you want to or not is important to grow as a person. It's even part of my definition of being an adult. There is a legal definition of adulthood, but realistically it is far more than reaching a certain age. It's about taking on the responsibilities of an adult, which includes working so you can pay the bills. It means accepting that you will work for the next several decades and not complaining about.

I have known people who never had to work. They were pretty screwed up. I hate to use a cliche like "It builds character", except that it DOES build character. Working is more than just making money. It's part of life. It's about doing something and contributing. It's about learning to work with others, whether you like them or not. It's about responsibility. It's about knowing what needs to be done, and figuring out how to do it.

If I image two people, who both inherited a bunch of money - one works and the other just lives off the inheritance, there is a huge difference in my mind between the two people. One is an adult, and the other is just a child playing.

This is related to people who ask why they should work at a minimum wage job flipping burgers. Some people think that because it doesn't pay well, and is not going to be a career, then there is no reason to do it. The reason is simple. It's because being responsible, getting up and going to work every day, and doing your job says something about you. It shows your next employer that you are both capable and willing to do it. It says something important about you as a person.

I can go to any fast food place and watch the employees for ten minutes and predict which ones are likely to be successful in life. The difference is obvious. It only takes ten minutes to see a lot about who they are. The people I've known who never worked just never had that quality.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It depends if they are generally good with managing stuff in their life and have enough money to fairly share if we get to have kids one day.

My best friend is 32 and she never worked a day in her life because her dad left her a big ass trust fund that she can easily keep spending averagely until retirement. She lives comfortable medium class. However she did finish her master degree and all, she is not stupid, she does a lot of voluntary work and dedicates a lot of time to her hobbies like content creation and writing. She is soon to get married and she doesn't mind doing the housework job since her boyfriend is working. In all honesty she was a bit spoiled as a teen, but she grew to be a wonderful person and I envy her! Wish I didn't have to work, I hate my job. :(

EvilAngel114 · Accepted Answer

That’s a hard no. I don’t tend to get a lot well with people that don’t seem to know the value of a dollar, or what it’s like to work hard for things that you want and/or need. I think people that make an honest living by working; understand, value and appreciate things, people and relationships around them.

Avicenna · Answer

Probably not since she’s unlikely to be a good manager of her money and would probably expect lots of money to be spent on her.

Guy13 · Answer

Depends if she's a Team player or a Me, Myself, and I secular humanist. If she went with the

Summeroflove · Answer

If she seems like a good person

Texaskid1 · Answer

No.

I have dealt with kids when I was younger. They were all spoiled rotten to the core. They never had to worry or plan about money. Everything given to them. They all lacked a certain hardness - a toughness. I have had some shitty jobs working with some true assholes - shitty bosses , backstabbing conniving coworkers , nepotism ( like that one cocksucker who would not do his fucking job because his mommy worked in our central headquarters and would call her every time he got into trouble) working under pressure ; i. e. I recall over ten years ago how I actually slept in the office due to an impeding deadline- it was a "do or die" situation with my name on the line.

At the time it sucked but in hindsight it toughens you up. People who have been through shit tend to be more down to Earth and pleasant to be with.

PS

Today I would not sleep in the office but back in the day I was a bit of a die-hard workaholic.

shanshu · Answer

It depends really, it's not if they are good with money or never worked but I wouldn't if they are just lazy and think they are all that.

If they were productive like did their own cooking, cleaning, and that and not had some servent or cleaner to do it then it's good because it shows they can take care of themselves.

Hopefully they have some degree or experience of past work because there's no guarantee the trustfund would last forever, plus maybe over the years they would put some money aside from the trustfund in a savings account.

So again no problem if they never worked aslong as they didn't act too spoilt.

Midgetmcwidget · Answer

I had a friend who got a job in a pet shop and his mother bought him a new mercedes as a congratulations gift. Didn't go down well at the workplace as it cost more than the managers salary.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I know this couple from Tennessee, and they came to Pennsylvania to live, and they broke apart he had a trust fund and not sure if that was the reason I know his sister handles his trust fund. He lives alone and got a drug abuse problem and buying pills and I think she drinks a lot.

ChiTown33 · Answer

Being born into money doesn't inherently make someone bad.

I asked a similar question to this a few days ago. When you say "work" I assume you mean for some form of compensation. A person can have enough money to where they don't have to work, but they can still volunteer thier time to help people.

So my answer to your question is yes I would date a trust fund baby if they still had good character, if they still had life goals.

Labokachulaa · Answer

No, I personally couldn't because I know someone who's like that and their sense of entitlement was a huge turn off.

dustybiker · Answer

If they were decent you probably wouldn’t find that out till much later anyway. Most people tend to hide their wealth when looking to get into serious relationship.

Anonymous · Answer

It depends entirely on her personality, values and priorities. If she is family-minded, and is willing and able to be a good homemaker, mother to our children, and wife to me, then on paper she is the perfect woman, and the antithesis to the modern woman we men have all been told we must accept.

But if she is just the typical modern woman, but with a trust fund, then she is of no more value to me than the excuse for a woman that other modern women represent.

Adam1978 · Answer

Well aslong as they still do their responsibilities in the home, and it's not some shady business that brings in the money, I don't care what they come from or how much or little they work.

TheUniqueOne96 · Answer

If she ticked the boxes, then yeah. If they knew a thing or two about money, then I could learn from them too or could potentially work for them around the house.

EmmaMary · Answer

No absolutely not... Simply because they would have no idea whatsoever about the value of money... They're just glorified spoilt little brats.

Mangospacho · Answer

It depends on her personality. If she uses her money to manipulate and control people and has a condescending attitude towards people who don’t have as much wealth as her, then that’s a problem and I would avoid someone like that.

jshm2 · Answer

That sort of loser will have no work, social or life skills.  Basically just be a living ATM... until the cash runs out

socair · Answer

I would or rather I would not let it put me off IF we found each other to be mutually attracted...  ... which does not necessarily include or exclude physical looks

lachuppacabra · Answer

well, my first thought was no, cause money always runs out. But also yes? cause i would just keep our finances separate, and when their money runs out thats just their own problem.

Danny_dan92 · Answer

I don't know. Believe it or not, having a job really develops a person’s moral beliefs and social skills.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I'm not sure. That is a good question. Part of me would want them to have a job at least once so that they could at least have that experience and understand the value of work.

Pudsmucker · Answer

It would be quite fun to date somebody that has never worked in their life for the funds that they receive. But then on the other hand would we be compatible.

CateM · Answer

I doubt it because someday, that money will be gone and they'll have no job experience

TaureanBull81 · Answer

It depends what they are like as a person. If they're down to earth and genuine then yesssssss I'd date them however if not then nooooooo.

sheikalana · Answer

Money eventually ends if you don't know how to manage it.

Juxtapose · Answer

Yeah I don't care. As long as she pays her half of the bills and does her half of the chores then why should I?

BJP21 · Answer

It would depend on their education level. If you're uneducated, ignorant and come from money. NOPE.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Yes, but she at least has to do volunteer work within the community.  Can't be sitting around all day. Have to be productive.

Anonymous · Answer

Are they a nice person? Are they kind, funny, honest? That's what matters

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

Fuck no. A person who has never worked for anything knows nothing about being an adult in the real world. That would basically be like dating an adult child.

Anonymous · Answer

She could always lie and make up a job. Maybe with one of her parents’ companies.

Anonymous · Answer

Why not? Plenty of women never work regardless of having a trust fund or not. It's not like we care so much about their careers.

dowser19 · Answer

Yes, but I really don't want her to buy me anything. I don't like being indebted.

Vivaldi · Answer

I am not working cause I have enough money to buy food, drinks, such.

Kaneki05 · Answer

Don't see why not.

Agape93 · Answer

Doubt it, I highly doubt we have similar interests

Smoothing · Answer

It all depends on the kind of person she is.

exitseven · Answer

If she was hot and was into me I would.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Absolutely not.

Cassie2002 · Answer

Depends on her personality.

Fuentes · Answer

Yes I would finesse her out that money lol

ZenJen444 · Answer

No sounds like a lazy bum to me

dolemite89 · Answer

no i don’t like rich kids

SnowedIn · Answer

Sure.

Anonymous · Answer

no because i am one

Literalbillionaire17 · Answer

Yeah tbh

FireFox001 · Answer

Honestly, no.

Would you date someone who never worked because they had a trust fund?

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