Turned off by how my boyfriend looks sometimes, why can’t he make an effort? (Page 2)

[B0nerD0nor]

Guys don’t do hints, just be upfront and honest.
Girls hate when guys tell them they can’t cut their hair or how to style it. Some guys are the same way so be prepared for the, “I don’t tell you know to wear your hair so don’t tell me how I will wear mine” response.
My ex-wife tried that on me and ended in a divorce when she constantly nagged me to let my hair grow out.

[DS_Madking]

be brutally honest it helps was there myself (i still dont shave often but i have decent faicial hair so idc) but when some random ass girl in class said i smelled like shit it clicked and now unless i had P. E class i rather get asked what deodorant i use

[SenseiSeptred]

Have him groom all his hair, "never" ask him to cut it. Cutting hair is cutting an individuals strength of devotion to God in general. In some peoples customs if their hair gets cut, the same instrument that cut their hair also has to go across their stomach, which if you have them do that, then you would at least get charged with manslaughter if the court system got word of such a scenario.

[Levin]

This is where you put on your big girl pants on and be honest about how you feel. It may be uncomfortable but you can still do this with tact. All relationships are about communication. Ask him if something is the matter.

[hismave]

I feel u should let him know. My boyfriend would actually tell me know when he doesn't like a thing, I on the other hand can try to be bearing but it isn't exactly good. Communication matters in a relationship. Let him know u don't like his looks and try to advice him on how to be better, also ensure ur love for him ain't based on his looks cause the relationship wouldn't last. Ones looks is an addition but not a necessity.

[Sevenpointfive]

to me that is tantamount in a relationship! you get what you give if he's not trying to be attractive then you shouldn't either. but don't adopt his lifestyle. don't get lazy. at that point it's up to you

[JamesDiaz11]

Make some comment during a movie with black guys in it and say: "I wish I was attracted to black dudes, they always take such good care of their appearance. Fresh cuts, clean, new clothes..."

[Hasan2023]

I think you should tell him about this and give him a example that if you don't clean your body and smell bad or don't shave your armpits, legs, hands or down there then how would he feel.

[Anonymous]

If it bothers you that much, TALK to him (kindly). Don't give him "hints". Guys don't read women's minds like you think they do. I guarantee you that buying him new deodorant did not register with him the way you wanted. Just talk to him.

To be honest, it sounds to me like he's suffering from depression. Maybe try having a little compassion and trying to help and support him rather than being disgusted and judgmental.

[Anonymous]

This is why women were made. Well not literally but if mothers (or fathers) fail to raise their kids to take self care at least half-assed seriously, then guess who will have to pick up on that job eventually if at all (considering it comes this far if the person is lucky enough)? It might be you.

Believe it or not but i was not taught to change my socks and underwear every day until my female coworker told me this when I was 25 years old!

[Labokachulaa]

I think you should just tell him directly. The best communication is honest & directly done. You also have to make sure you're expressing yourself in a healthy way. Give it a try.

[Adaeva]

That is because he already has you. Guy put maximum effort in getting a girl but slack off after they catch them. @MrOracle gave the the perfect answer on how to remedy the situation.

[Deydey12345]

I mean, you like pretty boys and he isn't a pretty boy, he is a manly man.

so break up with him and go fish a pretty boy... that's my solution.

[20yearsolder]

You're just going to have to bite the bullet and say something. Otherwise this relationship is doomed. You're supposed to be able to talk about the tough things with your partner.

[slatyb]

Presumably you've asked him before. He's given you an answer -- her doesn't care enough about you to change his behavior. Now it's your move -- accept it or leave.

[1cuteblackk]

Yeah I do and that’s why I love females who involve in fitness, it’s good to workout and keep in good shape. There’s nothing as powerful as looking attractive to your partner at all times and that actually makes him stay with you because lots of people don’t involve in fitness or even mind how their body looks.

[supper]

Didn't just give him a hint. You could tell him as you're the one he loves. He probs supposes you to correct his weaknesses. He might feel upset if he knows you just turn off by these small things. A strong relationship must strive for the hard situation together.

[suzzieQ]

Just communicate like a grown up. If he is doing something that you dont like, you have two options, have a conversation with him about it, which would be the mature responsible thing to do, or not say anything and just deal with it

[AdithyaR]

Normally if it had been an aesthetic issue I'd say not his fault but this seems to a dude ignoring basic hygiene.
You should probably talk to him about it directly and if he doesn't listen, think about whether you wanna be with someone like that.

[AdithyaR]

Also check if it's cause of him struggling with something like depression. That generally does cause people to not take care of themselves.

[CindyRuns]

I can't imagine what you see in this guy...

... move on... there are better guys out there !!!