We’ve been together for a little over 6 months and I’ve been concerned with the amount of effort he’s been putting into the relationship. So my love language is gift giving and quality time. I tend to get him things here and there and I pay attention to what he says he needs or wants and tend to buy them when he least expects it. He’s always appreciative. While I don’t expect to receive things in return just because I get him things, my boyfriend has bought me absolutely nothing since we’ve been together unless you count buying dinners and tickets to events and activities that we go to which we take turns purchasing for each other every other time. I’ve never received flowers, chocolates not even a little cheap necklace or whatever. He never really plans anything although he says he will and even though he’ll ask me what I want to do I know deep down he doesn’t really want to do it and that he’s just doing it for me. He’s a homebody so half the time we just stay home and watch tv or go down the street to a local restaurant to eat then come back home. We may spend a few hours on a weekend doing an activity but it’s usually because I planned it. He’s never really taken me out on a date except for when we first started dating/courting me. He has done some really nice things in the past such as leaving a family trip a few hours early to be able to see me for a day and coming over to my place (we are 40 miles apart) during the work week when I was having a rough day to make me feel better but that’s about it. He does nothing else. He also hates driving and never does it and any time we do anything or go anywhere (we have occasionally taken trips) we use my car. Due to my job flexibility and the fact that I don’t mind driving to him for the most part, I spend a good 1.5 hours on the road each time to get to him. Sometimes it can take up to 2 hours and after that time I’m exhausted yet once I arrive he still doesn’t offer to drive.
Boyfriend doesn’t seem to put in much effort. Am I hard to please or is he lazy?
Updates
5 mo
When I say once I arrive and he still doesn’t offer to drive. I’ll settle in and bring my overnight bag and we’ll sit for a minute to figure out what the plan is (usually dinner) and he won’t even offer to drive us there he’ll ask me to do it. But whenever he comes to my place (which is rare) the minute he arrives and we head back out after he parks his car he has to make note that he just drive for two hours and asks if I could drive.
