Should I forget it? Men find it hard to stick to their words?

[Anonymous]

I had an agreed friends with benefits with a guy and it didn’t really go to plan. I think he was embarrassed as I left. I Only heard from him once within 2 weeks.

I heard back and he said sorry for not being in contact I had family issues to sort out. For now I am not available for friends with benefits, I’m sorry. I’m happy to chat as friends.

is he claiming he is not available at all or right now he is not available and will contact me when he is?

[midnightmoon05]

You should forget it. “Men find it hard to stick to their worlds?” Perhaps the man you are referring to? the men who respect me and love, care about me, keep their words. so I would encourage you to meet men who has those qualities. but it comes from YOU first. If you allow yourself to be friends with benefits. Why should any men/women respect you or keep their worlds? there is no relationship… just two animals come together to have sex.. then walk away. Put it bluntly. Move on.

are you just out for fun or wanting to settle down soon? Like marriage, kids, family?

[Asker]

I would actually prefer to have a friendship with him. It looks like it’s going that way anyways. And she’s how it goes.

[midnightmoon05]

What would you do when he has a girlfriend. and ignores your calls?

[Username28]

First of all, friends with benefits doesn’t mean they keep in constant contact with you. You wouldn’t be hurt if you didn’t hear from Jessica for 2 weeks.


My guess is that it’s one of 2 things:
1) He thought you were being clingy and cut it off trying to salvage the friendship - that’s actually pretty cool of him.
2) He wasn’t feeling the sex. Shouldn’t he be about the sex too?


This doesn’t mean you’re bad at it just means the type of sex he enjoys y’all weren’t having and honestly communicating that kind of stuff can make friends with benefits complicated.

[Username28]

When you’re doing friends with benefits your feelings shouldn’t be hurt when it comes to an end cuz it’s just sex. Remember, you were using him too and you consented to being used. He just happened to end it first.

Chances a friends with benefits situation actually becoming a relationship are slim to none so never get your hopes up. friends with benefits isn’t a commitment, it’s using each other for sex.

[Asker]

I wasn’t all too impressed with it all so I left his house and he was embarrassed. I was going to ignore him but I like him as a person and we have a lot in common. So I thought maybe we can try again and if not remain friends. And yeah, I was being a little clingy. I guessed he sensed I was intrigued by him. I’ll give him space.

[Username28]

I’d say anyone that’s done the friends with benefits has had at least one where they weren’t impressed but if you wanna give it another go you gotta be kinda careful how handle things after the deed. Even for actual couples it can be a little awkward the first time if they don’t have certain conversations first.

If you don’t want it to happen again then fuck it. I had casual sex with a certain guy once. It was fucking terrible so I kicked him out before anyone came. He left his underwear so I threw them in the dumpster so he wouldn’t have a reason to come back…he called the next day saying he forgot his underwear 🥴 Told him he’ll have to climb in the dumpster 😂

[Asker]

I assume he would be embarrassed since it was a little awkward and I left his house a little dismissive. I probably squashed his ego. I’ll give him space and reach out after a few weeks. I’m hoping with space he will be happy to be friends. He is a really nice guy besides the lack of enthusiasm.

[Anemone978]

LOL if you smashed his ego why would he want to try again with you? You probably hurt him so he ended it...

[lightbulb27]

that sounds painful and a bad idea.

I personally wouldn't even consider what you were trying to do, so I have no business giving you advice. read if you want. There is no agreement to anything, there is no relationship or commitment.

You should back off, be a friend if you want, rethink what you are doing, and re-think what you want and your approach to life. Every failure is an opportunity to adapt.

[Asker]

He said he is happy to chat as fiends? Does it just seem he is trying to keep the peace of he does actually want to keep in contact?

[lightbulb27]

Maybe, hard to judge. You've seen movies where the guys needs are met, then he feels like "wants to run away". Sounds like that. Guys can have bad emotional reactions after the act.. after all his testosterone dropped. Might be he feels ashamed due to how he was raised, or who knows what.
When the T raises again soon, probably more interested again.
Leaves you baffled for sure. This is why... have commited relationship:)

[Guy13]

You expect a friends with benefits to be good in his word. 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Asker]

So does he mean he is not available anymore at all or just now available right now?

[Guy13]

Hold tight and leave him alone is what I get from it.

[suzzieQ]

I personally expect anyone to that I have a relationship with to be honest, otherwise I will not maintain a relationship with them, nor should anyone else.

[Guy13]

@suzzieQ https://youtu.be/8AtV7NTIt9g

[Summeroflove]

Well…. If you have a problem with all men you’re probably the problem. A friends with benefits……: So someone you’re just sleeping with and you expect those guys to be of upstanding character. Give me a break

[OlderAndWiser]

Maybe you should ask HIM instead of us.

[Anonymous]

You have a specific arrangement to use, and be used. It is illogical to expect anyone willing to allow such an arrangement to care about keeping their word. You should remember that there was a time when engaging in sex would mean having a family and this is still what it means despite all of the crap culture likes to feed us. Therefore as soon as you engage in friends with benefits you are sending many messages... none of them result in respect or reverence.

[Gent207-2]

You expect a casual fuck buddy to be committed to you? This goes in complete contradiction to"friends with benefits".

Also where is the grace and patience owed to a friend or do you demand their attention 24/7?🚨

[JamesDiaz11]

How does any of what you said tells me that men can't stick to their words?

[vetociw626]

It sounds like he just wants to talk right now, and not meet in person.

[suzzieQ]

How about asking him... we dont fucking know

[Anonymous]

Women find it hard not to generalize?