The reason I do this is because I think it’s smart to do this. You will be more easily willing to filter out girls you are not that compatible with. You basically maximize your chances at finding your soulmate. A soulmate is basically someone that fits your lifestyle and you match up with perfectly.
This isn’t my idea. It’s from a book I’m reading. The author calls it “spinning plates.”
This is how everyone should date, as long as they are respectful enough to do so responsibly. The days of waiting for marriage are ridiculous. And society has changed enough that this is the way to truly find happiness. Look at the divorce rate over the last 30 years…. It’s pathetic. You need to be more selective and if you are you should be dating more people.
dont believe me? Then think of it this way….. with divorce rate being as high as it is…. Do you really think you’re lucky enough to have found your soul mate within the first 10 people you’ve ever been intimate with? Strong Feelings towards someone doesn’t not make them marriage material. There are so many things to consider. Be glad that someone breaks up with you, because it’s better than finding out you’re not compatible later in life after marriage and kids. So yes, go out and date a lot. Figure out what works for you and how capable you are if making the girl of your dreams happy. I guarantee you that you will be working on yourself so that you can find this ideal person.
Divorce rate is so how because the average person doesn't put in the effort to find a good person. American society is cheap and wasteful, and what the average American wants is the cheapest fastest solution without any of the effort.
Like in your suggesting that you say to multiple people. They don't put in enough effort with one person because they're juggling multiple people trying to find the easiest solution... well the person who would make a good wife or husband gets fed up with the loser doing the juggling not putting in a good effort (because the loser is juggling work & 2-4 people) into the relationship. So all the person is left with is the dregs.
@BlackBeauty90 no, you don’t juggle multiple people. You keep browsing online dating while dating new girls. You don’t commit to anyone unless they are worthy of your time. It’s pretty simple actually. And it’s beneficial for both parties. If I’m dating you and I don’t think there a future where I would be happy, then I should stop wasting your time no matter how perfect I am for you. Vice versa, I expect the same from any girl I’ve ever dated. Be picky as fuck because if I’m not good enough, then I’m not good enough. I work on myself enough to know if you’re not happy with me in the first few dates then you’re not ever going to be happy with me.
If you were at a carnival and you were trying to win that stuffed bear, would you only want to take a chance with one ball to throw in the basket or 100 balls? (assuming both options cost the same) Which option would give you the best chance of winning the prize?
Personality and compatibility is more effective than serial dating. I know guys who dated hundreds of girls that failed to find a match and I know guys who dated thousands that failed to find a match. I also know people who married the first person they dated and stayed with them for life.
I described this to a friend a few days ago ironically.
Someone is "dating" 4 different people. That means between their work or schooling they have to split their attention between 4 people. That's great if the 4 people are merely friends with benefits & who gives a shit if they take off, they're easily replaced.
But if among those 4 you have someone special that special person is going to get fed up because you can't give them the time they deserve.
And that special person will end up saying to you fuck off, get lost, go find some prostitute or cheap whore instead because I (that special person) put in the effort for this relationship but you (the person juggling multiple people) didn't. You screwed up big time then because all you've ever find will be the cheap prostitutes.
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Asker
+1 y
The problem is that if you only talk to one girl, you can miss out on your chances to talking to another girl you are more compatible with. It’s simple math. The more options, the more possibilities at finding someone you have chemistry with. You can easily tell upon a few dates. You don’t need to date them for a long long time. You can test them and find out soon.
I described this to a friend a few days ago ironically.
Someone is "dating" 4 different people. That means between their work or schooling they have to split their attention between 4 people. That's great if the 4 people are merely friends with benefits & who gives a shit if they take off, they're easily replaced.
But if among those 4 you have someone special that special person is going to get fed up because you can't give them the time they deserve.
And that special person will end up saying to you fuck off, get lost, go find some prostitute or cheap whore instead because I (that special person) put in the effort for this relationship but you (the person juggling multiple people) didn't. You screwed up big time then because all you've ever find will be the cheap prostitutes.
That’s why this is called spinning plates. You have to learn how to do this. It isn’t something easy but it’s the best way to find the best possible person for yourself.
Problem is, simple people like you are always looking for a simple solution. Easy fix. You'll never succeed in a meaningful relationship because that takes effort. Just the way you word your comment implies that the minute a girlfriend becomes "difficult" you'll run away for the next dimwitted female that'll have you.
This is in the realms of dating and talking stages. Not the girlfriend stages. When I find a girlfriend, she was already filtered from multiple girls so there is no need for more filtering or moving on from her because she was the survival of the fittest and the best I’ll find.
So what does "spinning plates" teach you except not to commit to one person for any extended time. So WHY would a decent or respectable potential partner WANT to be bothered with you when your track history is already flimsy at best.
You don't seem to be able to comprehend what the poster said.
If you are juggling multiple people you're GOING TO MISS OUT ON THE GIRLFRIEND because you are spending TOO little time with her in your "screening" for her to be BOTHERED with you.
Of course. There is nothing wrong with getting to know a few women you’re interested in. If I were in the dating game, I would do the same. It’s completely OK to talk to multiple people at the same time, but let them know beforehand that it’s not exclusive and if you do decide to go exclusive with someone, let the other women know that you’re not interested.
Treat your relationship the same way you treat a job, and you will succeed.
You should:
A) Have a great résumé
B) Apply to as many places as possible
C) Have a great interview
Your résumé is your profile/traits. Applications are the various women you will approach, and the interview part is the first few dates when you're getting to know each other.
So yes, you should in fact do that if you are serious about finding a wife but I will emphasize that you don't waste your time sleeping with any of them because you will just be wasting your time if your main objective is marriage.
I fundamentally and categorically agree. Relationships are more so about compatibility and chemistry, not about the traditionally accepted view that the relationship is about physical attraction. I recommend all men chat with as many women as possible since its more or less a numbers game. In the past, on some apps I would have 200 profile views but 20 messages, of those 20 messages something like 2 were even worth my time. All you need is that one for the effort to be worth it.
Here's the thing about the concept of a "soulmate."
If there really is such a thing, what are the chances that any significant number of people would find their soulmate in a world population of 8 billion people. You'd be much more likely to win the billion dollar lottery.
So either the concept that there is one and only one soulmate for each of us in the world means that most of us are doomed to a life of loneliness, OR it means that we need to date around 400 million people a year.
"Soulmate"? Bro, stop. Looking for a female "soulmate" is a joke, women are too mercinary to be anyone's "soulmate". Just play the field, go balls deep in hoe's, and worry more about your life and future than anything with some female.
Talking sure, but keep in mind that you might being observed by the previous girls. So your actions can quickly be contra productive. So when you start spinning new plates, you will drop and crash old ones. Besides if you focus on new girls, you aren't giving the old the attention they want. This method is unlikely to give a deep connection required for finding a soul mate.
Someone once told me that if you plan on having a wife and kids and not getting divorced, you should date as many woman as possible and get as much experience as you can.
The self growth is almost a requirement to be skilled enough to maintain a modern relationship. Especially if you're not naturally already good at keeping women.
In my experience, the advice has been pretty solid.
Talking to people, and getting to know who they are and where they are coming from, etc, is a great way to learn about people in general and even about yourself. I am surprised that most people on this thread are posting negatively about this. It isn't like you are asking if you should be "banging lots of women".
Qruleity over qrantity If you talk to many your not really going deep to any looking at everone in a surface level you likely to completely over look the right one Over all relashinship needs work, its not like You see someone yohr eyes lock Your heart beat races You both jump on the table and start a really complicated dance number and singing about love in first sight
From experience, yes. Some women will want more, so just be honest and dont lead them on. I've found talking with many women broadened my dating options, made me feel more confident, i was more comfortable in conversations with women and ultimately it made breakups easier because there were always options.
I can understand the ploy. But it's mostly useless.
The two main reasons being that unless you're in a speed dating room, there is little chance you'll get asking that many girls the "right questions". Let alone getting the "right answers."
Also, that's a lot of rejection to pack into a small space of time. You're assuming every girl wants to talk with you. A so called "soul mate" isn't like in literature.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
"A soulmate is basically someone that fits your lifestyle and you match up with perfectly."
Go back to elementary school. A soulmate COMPLIMENTS your lifestyle it's not a bahhhing sheep. They make your stronger, compliment your weaknesses, etc. So if you're an introvert your PROPER soul mate is an extrovert NOT another introvert.
The fact you don't know something so simple means you'll ALWAYS fail in dating.
It’s not very smart. It’s stretching your resources. a man may assume that if he has lots of kids with lots of women, that he has a good chance of getting at least one kid that turns out a millionaire or basketball player… but that’s wrong. It just increases the chances of all the kids ending up messed up socially, psychologically, and economically.
it’s the same thing for relationships. If you spread your resources out, it increases chances of failure. 🤷♀️
It sounds ok in theory but if you do you’ll get a reputation and most girls will think you’re desperate. So just go for totally different girls who don’t have any friends in common or girls will stay away from you if they find out uyoure constantly trying to meet women. Just a little creepy
It's pretty common knowledge that the more you put yourself out there and meet and talk to people the better your chances at finding people who are compatible with you.
I had a friend that used to ask out every girl he thought was interesting. He told me that the worst thing that can happen is she says no. He got rejected a lot but he also went out with a lot of girls.
Yes. Dating will always be a numbers game for men. For best results a guy should date many women. Just don't be a slime and date them at the same time.
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