I’m 28 years old and I still get nervous talking to women I find attractive. I was saved in my early 20’s because a lot of the girls I messed with I knew them from school. The sad thing is I’m a handsome guy and most times I don’t get rejected. This girl gave me some many clues she wanted me to speak to her and I fumbled the thing that sucks about me is if I see her again I’ll definitely talk to her but why couldn’t I pull the trigger the first time. Do I just speak to every woman from now on? I don’t have to try and get there number it’s so I can break my shyness. It’s almost the opposite for me. Girls who are “out of my league” I can get their number but girls I’m truly attracted to like their features are what I look for I freeze I don’t get it. It’s like when I’m just sexually attracted I can talk to any women but if I want to know them deeper I freeze up
Is talking to every girl you find attractive the only way to gain confidence?
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The trick is to learn to be able to talk to everyone and anyone first. Not just girls. Outcome dependency is what causes you to freeze. Putting them on a pedestal can cause that as well. Once you become comfortable with this, you will even feel fine in silence.
I don’t put them on a pedestal at all. Outcome dependency makes sense though I’ve slept with over 100 women majority of who are beautiful women I don’t have problems with talking and approaching women overall but sometimes I do get shy and I realized I get shy when I’m attracted to someone deeper than trying to have sex. So that could be a subconscious thing because I know I’m not ready for a relationship
Then it's possible that the being attracted to someone deeper results in the outcome dependency that creates the shyness.
That makes sense
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