Really only had one serious relationship that ended in a breakup. I’d say that was mostly a “grew apart” situation, we were just different people at 21 than we were at 16. Honestly, I kind of saved her, she didn’t have much going for her family-wise, so I think I was a safe bridge to adulthood for her. After we split, the next guy she dated, she married and had kids with him, which was really what she was looking for, and EARLY (I think people from broken homes often yearn to start their own families that they feel they lack). I just didn’t know what I wanted back then, I just knew it wasn’t going to be in my early 20s. 20+ years later…. this was the right call, for both of us. I tried searching for her number to tell her when my mother died a few years ago, they had been close, and I wasn’t able to contact her, but she still has her married last name, so I think they’re still together. But anyway, at the time, I guess we just kind of faded out, then one day we were just like “what’s happening here?”, and we talked and ended up coming to the difficult decision to call it quits.
I was kind of just playing the field in my early and mid 20s, so I don’t think any hearts were truly broken, not that I know of, anyway. Probably a few situations I’d like to have back, or at least have them play out differently. One girl was actually REALLY pissed, I could’ve handled that better😅 She caught me on my best week of man-whoring of all time😂😂😂 Oh man, I was so fucking hot that week, lmao, I don’t know what stars aligned for me. Met her when I thought I had just taken an L with a chick I was really after, this gal came along and absolutely THREW it at me, I’ve told the story on here before, walked up to me a said nothing, just turned around, suddenly dropped into a squat, then dragged her butt slowly up the front of my pants, turns back around and smiles at me, then walks out the door to the deck at the bar I was bouncing at. And I’m just standing there stunned, lmao, like “ok, that did NOT just happen…”
Yadda yadda, she took me home, I want to say that was a Wednesday night, possibly a Thursday. I think that same weekend, the girl I was first into came back into play (gave both her and her best friend my number, in front of each other, cockiest move of my life, but really I just couldn’t figure out which one to go for, and maybe since I had gotten laid so recently I was just like “fuck it, roll the dice.”, and just left it up to them to decide😂 Risky play, but one actually called me, unbelievable, lmfao. Anyway, she came by on a Tuesday (I remember because she had a day-of-the-week SpongeBob thong, and I remembered laughing to myself thinking that it was a good start that she at least had on clean underwear😂…and she was a 20-year old adult, she just loved SpongeBob, I feel it necessary to include that, lmao), and that started happening, and at that point I was just like “this chick is the keeper, anyone else can come or go.” She was super hot, the other girl was kinda borderline attractive to me.
Also borderline attractive to me was this barfly from our place who I ran into at a party, and i hate to say it like this, because she was a cool gal, but the mood on her for me was “kinda skanky…. but I’d let her.” And that particular night, I let her, lmao. Met all three of these girls at the same bar that I worked at, just so we’re fully appreciative of how goddamn reckless I was lmfao. That all could have gone so much worse.
Anyway, the girl who had dragged her butt up my pants I think was trying to cuff me, and she bought us tickets to see Kanye West, who had just come out that year. I was definitely down to go, but then the girl I was really into said SHE was going with her sister, and I was like “fuck, I can’t be seen with this other girl at the show”, not that I was exclusive with anyone, but obviously that’s not a strong look. So I knew I had to bail, and as luck would have it, one of her floormates was at the same party and saw me with the barfly chick, and she’s like “HEY, STEVE.”, like it’s some gotcha moment, but at that point I was just like “fuck it, run tell everybody”😝
I hadn’t called the girl in a few days either to kind of start distancing, because I was a mature, responsible adult who deals with life issues head on🤦♂️ Then she called me on Friday, the day before the show, and she had obviously heard about the girl from the party. She was QUITE curt, lmao. But she asked if I was planning to go to the Kanye show, I kind of went into dickhead mode, which I regret, and just nonchalantly was like “I don’t care, do you want me to go?”, and predictably, she goes “I’d prefer if you DIDN’T.”, and I was just like “cool”, and she banged the jack on me, and that was that. Ran into her in a parking lot like a year later, tried to be cordial. She was not having it😂 I guess I deserved that😅😅😅
Just realized I’ve been writing stoner essays lmfao, my bad, but now you all have to read it since I wasted all this time😂
Is this your explanation or manuscript for your new book?
@Daniela1982 It’s a sample chapter, what of it?😝
I knew it!
I don't get it. When I write something I'm limited to 2,000 words. You have at least twice that. Who do you know?
@Daniela1982 I think it actually only got up to 1,000 words. Definitely feels like more though.
I will say I blamed myself and it took counseling and therapy and work on myself to understand why it happened amd how I let that shape my behaviors and approaches in relationships.
I still blame myself for a couple, but definitely not all.
This one is tricky for me to answer.
I'm to blame for the break of 3 relationships, they hadn't gotten that serious yet.
One - and the one I feel the worst for, was that I cheated - I broke up with him as soon as I got back to the country. The other two ended before they got serious because I hadn't dealt with my shit. I was in no place for a relationship and I've apologized to both when I've encountered them later in life. I wasn't the smartest teen around.
Then I had a lot of "relationships" in between the age of 12-16/17, those "relationship" kinda ended since it was with adult men often 30+.
And then it is my latest two relationships, one had to help family out - in the US, I was not willing to come with and the last one fell into addiction and I can not surround myself with that.
I'd say 50/50-
I've only had two serious relationships: the first one, we mutually broke up because we grew apart (no longer had much in common, long distance relationship, barely spoke like we used to)...
The second one ended because he cheated on me. Per him, I wasn't, "emotionally mature" enough for him so he found an older one across the world to satisfy him 😂
I WILL fess up to it being my fault for: staying in both relationships way longer than I should have, putting up with less than I deserve, and settling just for the sake of being in a relationship so I wouldn't be alone. Thankfully I'm mature enough to know I was stupid and desperate back then... not anymore!
Opinion
27Opinion
For sure…at least 50% of the Reason. Welcome to the club 😎
Generally yeah, because when he cheats I break up with him, thus I am the reason we end and so many cheat.
Everyone is part of the reason a relationship ended. How much? Hard to know unless you have a conversation with the person who broke up with you, right? And unless you have each of them across from you and everyone's honest, it's also hard to know what or how much your mistakes were involved.
Most breakups have to do with unrealistic expectations. A lot of this has to do with the youth of people involved. As people gather wisdom they usually make better choices.
However, there are those who repeat youthful, or worse yet, traumatic choices that mimic violence or modeling they learned as children. This benefits no one: i. e. choosing a physically or emotionally abusive partner.
It takes time, and often therapy, to transcend poor choices. It also takes consciousness about yourself and why you are or aren't happy in your relationships. Unless you're aware and caring, nothing new and better happens in your life.
Nope. Most ended because the guy could not respect boundaries or dealbreakers that I stated very early on. They pretended to respect them just to keep me around and once I found out the truth i was out. As for the few that I am responsible for... they would never know the self sabotage I brought on in order to escape the relationship. I will let them continue to think that they are the reason we broke up
I’ve dated 2 dudes. 3 if you count when I was a kid and didn’t know what it was. The first we broke up amicably. The second; he 100% was the problem but I was the problem as well in the sense that I refused to forgive him and give him another chance after he broke our trust.
I’m the reason and I’m also the one that filed.
it was poor judgement for me to marry who I married. Despite red flags (because I was in love). I was too gentle and generous with all of them and they all took advantage of my kindness mistaking it for weakness. And they were all surprised when I divorced them, and they all regret losing me.
no more marriage for me.
I’ve only had two serious relationships, although the first cheated on me, I ended the relationship. And the second one ended because he went to a college on the other side of the country, and I did not want a long distance relationship, so I ended it! I wouldn't say that was “responsible” for the demise of both relationships, but I was definitely the reason they ended!
Of course not. It takes two to make a relationship work, so both are responsible for failures as well.
I found asking a date how they were responsible for their failed relationships is a great way to weed out women with twisted perceptions of themselves and their exes.
I’ve had 4 serious relationships. One was a mutual ending. One was major incompatibilities (he broke up with me.) The third was also major incompatibilities (I broke up with him.) And the last was him dealing with some demons that caused pain for me.
I don’t think either myself, or the ex involved, held all the blame of the relationship ending.
I used to have a real talent for selecting the most crazy Disturbed unhappy women to have relationships with. So given this, yes I am the reason although not in the usual sense of provoking people or not getting along with them once I was with them but in the sense that I made exceedingly bad choices right in the beginning. No more of that.
I had an ectopic pregnancy and five miscarriages. Doctor told me I could never have kids and he left. Another guy did the same. It was very hard on me espicially when they got married and had kids, I dont blame them.
I met and married an older man who was a widower with a daughter. Somehow I managed to get pregnant with a son and complete our family.
The few relationships I had were during a time where I was questioning my sexuality. All of them ended because I didn't feel that romantic connection and realized I was aromantic as well as asexual and I found myself more comfortable in the platonic aspects of a relationship than in the romantic or sexual aspects. So I'm the reason all of my previous relationships ended before I donned that label and finally accepted myself for who I was.
Absolutely!
Not over cheating, lying, manipulation.
It’s simply because my career and personal choices require me to move around a lot and sometimes, partners either cannot or won’t come along. Part of the experience.
1: Destroyed it
2: Cheated
3: Mom read my journal, found out I thought her son was gay, and her son dumped me
4: Found him annoying
5: Found someone else
My last relationship, I married them
u I’m the reason why 1 of my past relationships have ended, which happened to be my longest relationship, but every other relationship it’s been the other persons fault, due to them cheating or becoming abusive/manipulative.
I'm certain I was part of the problem in most cases.
Possibly yes I agree for my part. Because I thought what I believed is right. I shouldn’t have fought to be right with my less knowledge. I just laugh at how silly I was, but I deeply regret for hurting others!! Specially the ones that I loved.!!
Only had one relationship before.
We were both 16 going on 17. Crazy about each other. I somehow ended up tellimg my parents and they made me break up with her.
So I was the reason!
I wasn't the reason but i did the dumping. First relationship, abusive, lasted 11 years. I was young and naive. Then dated for a few years I didn't want to end up in that situation again. Any redflags dumped immediately.
No, pandemic and China’s Covid-Zero policy were to blame.
I chose the wrong men. So yes, it’s my fault.
m never, no
they were all mutual and in very good terms, no blame to throw around
I ended all my prior relationships so... yeah.
They were the reason I broke up, but me breaking up is the reason we're not together anymore.
Yep, I'm definitely the reason I'm not in a relationship... usually by not getting into one in the first place.
My first relationship I was 13 and gave me a life long gift of herpes. I’ve never been in a relationship since.
They’re terrible and have no purpose because the person will seem great, but you need to keep in mind it’s all a hoax. Don’t trust anyone. Keep to yourself and work hard and mind your own business.
Seems like during school/college I had too less time and later I put too much focus on improving wealth by finding a job for me/her and making her save money if needed.
I'm not the reason
I've only had one boyfriend and he broke up with me over stupid shit, so definitely not me
Pretty much. I eventually find something intolerable about her.
I’m sure I had something to do with it, but it’s never been for lack of trying
You should always take accountability for your part.
All my relationships ended because they were so jealous.
Nope my first ended because she is a bitch and my second ghosted me.
Well women don't understand I'm about money first, maybe there some sort of confusion & jealousy. But I'm in love with dead green presidents, my child and then them... maybe they think they were first. But I don't see it that way lol
You’re pretty upfront and honest about all that. Respect to it.
It has been 50/50.
i’m the reason why i usually don’t get into relationships in the first place 😅
Everyone always say I’m amazing and how they can’t measure up to me ever. They start treating me bad and then we end up not talking. If I’m so great why does everyone keep leaving
Cheating or abuse.
I'd say it's about 50/50 🐝 Beebella.
I am responsible for some of them.
I have part of the blame
Me and the other person.
all of them ended bc of me, im a bit toxic
I know I'm not perfect.
Guy was shitty and manipulative.
Sometimes yes, sometimes no.
Still in my first relationship
Yes I most certainly am
Maybe for some but not most
voted B
Some yes, some no.
Nope 😏
Yeah 100%
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