What caused you to end your previous relationship?

Question

Ozanne · Accepted Answer

Before I met my husband, I was with a narcissist for two years. Well, let's say one year, but the grey area of the final year was getting rid of him, being apart, and cutting ties little by little. (Because a narcissist is very tough to get rid of.)

I truly only really liked the guy for maybe the first six months. But then problems set in with his behaviour. I noticed he was finished with his nice-guy phase after six months or so, and his ugly real self began to show. He started becoming incredibly jealous, had fits of rage if something didn't go his way, he was controlling, he tried to cut ties with me and my family and friends by badmouthing them and trying to fill my head with ideas about how bad they were in my life.

Let it be known that I have the most loving, stable friends and family I could ever have. My parents have been supportive and good natured with me. They give good, practical advice, they care, and they are genuinely fun parents any daughter could ever want! The same goes for my friends. I choose wisely, and the people in my life are golden. I very easily spotted this nonsense he was trying to push on me, and rejected it at every turn. just rejecting it made him angry. Narcissists hate being challenged or told they're wrong, and will bitterly fight you on it.

The next six months were me analyzing the narcissistic and often abusive behaviour that he demonstrated. I began to dislike him very much, and looked for my exit. The final year was my entire exit plan. But this was very difficult and took time because a narcissist has a poisonous way of trying to control and maintain control. I had done all the right things, including changing my phone number and email, I even later moved, changing my address. But it really did take a full year to flush this person out of my life. But it didn't stop there. Five years thereafter, he stalked me online, tried contacting my family, friends, and my workplace, putting fear in them, and even threatening them with false information about me, in hopes to sabotage my relationships with everyone.

Being with a narcissist was very scary ordeal. They mentally crawl into your life to make you think everything is against them, and they need you and praise you for being the best person to be there for them, shunning all others. With that, they badmouth and try to sabotage all the supportive people in your life, hoping you will be completely dependent on them. Once that control has been established, they can have their fun with you. They will start abusing you emotionally, argue for sport because they love the rise and love seeing you cower and beg forgiveness. When they are caught doing something wrong, they shift the blame, and defend their actions with why it was you or someone else's fault that drove them to do it. With my narcissist, I couldn't get a word in edgewise. He was a talker, and overtalked me constantly, and loudly. When all else failed and he was truly backed in a corner, he cried like a child, playing victim, and of course promising me the moon. But that same person will never change with love or any advice from friends and family. They need solid therapy, and likely for a long period of time.

That relationship put me in such a state of exhaustion that I found myself depressed and lazy. I couldn't get out of bed or even go to work as the entire thing was winding down. I got myself up and out of the house, to the doctor, where I was able to get help, get reading about depression, read about my situation as being the core problem, and from there I found strength. I was single for a good three years. When I was happy and unexpecting to find love because I was finally finding joy in my life, that's when I met my husband.♥

xKayTea · Accepted Answer

He cheated on me 3 times at the same time, so not only was I played but so were all the 3 girls.

He apologised, I tried to look past it (even though I shouldn't of, and just left) and things were just never the same since, I had terrible anxiety, body issues, trust issues and I fell out of love with him and ended it.

He tried to ask for me back but I lost any feelings I had for him whatsoever, so even if I wanted to (which I bloody well dont lol) I could not get back with him, it is very rare for me to lose all feelings like that, but he managed it for me.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Following things happened to break the fiancee;

1. It was arranged and it was hurried up.

2. I wanted some time to absorb things but she and her family wanted things to happen overnight.

3. I developed eye disease and instead of accepting my condition things just went like all whatever she wants should be done absolutely.

4. There were religious/sect differences. I wanted to downplay the role but she kept pushing it. I gave her concessions about what is acceptable to me but she kept saying I was blasphemous and accusing me all the time.

5. She didn't respect me and called me illiterate even though I didn't like how she lied about her education. Her parents told mine that she did psychology and changed from Fashion design to psychology out of honor and modesty (later she told me she changed it back to fashion design). And didn't even finish it up.

6. Then she would keep on increasing demands. I am a self made man and I expect my woman to live within means. If she had a problem she should have said so before the engagement.

7. She was trying to be manipulative with religion. One example, she said the prophets and their followers were very simple and lived simple lives. I said fine, how about you follow the example if you are so devoted and then she would fight over it.

8. In the end, I wanted things to work but she said the engagement is off. I was a little let down but I think it was for the best. She kept saying she brings blessing of God with her to my home if I let her do her thing.

9. She kept expecting me to message her and telephone her. She talked of compromise all the time but it was me doing it. I even let her have her way as she wanted to keep male friends from childhood which was skeptical to me but I was fine with it.

Finally, I was unhappy and mind you, this is the engagement stage only. In the end, she started doing things and it felt like her sister and brother in law and her mother were pulling the shots to try to control me.

It was just unfortunate but I think it was best to let it go. It couldn't be helped.

D_Bone_Steak · Accepted Answer

I was arrested (military) and was locked up on a ship for over a year. My cellphone was stolen not long after I was condemned. No communication with my Japanese fiancé for over a year, and I'm sure it was like I just disappeared.

Anyway, I finally got out and her friend basically said she wants me to fight for her, but tells me she went on some date with a British guy. I decided it was best for me to just move on because I had no control over my own life, and simply didn't have the luxury of building a relationship without the drama of something like disappearing for a year.

In short, it all ended because I went on leave while stationed in Japan, While I was on leave, my command made up a rule that there is to be no drinking past midnight. Nobody told me about this rule change, and I got arrested for it and did Captain's mass the next day and was subsequently stuck on a ship for over a year after that with no ability to communicate with the outside world. The final result is my marriage plans went to shit, and I just finished my time and got out with an honorable discharge when I would've done my 20 years with great ease.

I still miss her, and my friends are all high-ranking officers or at least in their E-8 and beyond pay status right now... but that's just how the dice rolled for me. I'm a loser baby... and that's why everyone loves me.

caring__1 · Answer

My last relationship ended because she decided I was a lump of clay to be molded by her. Other relationships ended because I was pressured to live beyond my means; because she expected significantly more than she brought to the relationship; because of poor communication and an unwillingness to improve; because I didn't consistently feel safe with her; because she was a closet alcoholic; because she was a yeller; and because she felt entitled to more consideration than anyone else.

AviatorTom · Answer

After 20 years of marriage, we had an amicable divorce. With the kids grown, it was just time for us to move on. We still get along... recently had a family get-together.

Zatsuma · Answer

It was an LDR and he was trying to recover financially after a bad divorce, well 7 months into our relationship he moved into some single mums house he called his friend to rent a room from her. After warning him that I do not trust so easily, I gave him the benefit of the doubt for a full year and put up with her random text check ups on him the few times he came to see me until the day came he decided it was better to lie to me about her texting him than to tell me. Little did he know that I saw her text come through the night before, and I even gave him a chance to be honest with me. Once a liar, always a liar. Turned out he was a typical narcissist as he went on to blame me and refuse to acknowledge his lie.

Hawkes_Lady · Answer

My last relationship ended when was called by the cops, who told me that I needed to pick up my van or they were going to tow it because my boyfriend was going to jail. After he went to jail, I found out that he'd been sleeping with at least a dozen different women. It's a good thing for him that after jail, he went to prison and then they deported him back to his original country. He's tried on several occasions since getting out to try to apologize but I don't want anything to do with him.

strawberrybaby3 · Answer

I started to suspect he was a narcissist. Just not affectionate at all anymore, wouldn’t take me on dates unless begged to do so, complimented women too often and kept doing it even though he was told I was uncomfortable with it. Couldn’t take accountability for a single thing he did and if he did, he’d quickly revoke his apology and switch everything up saying he never hurt me or did anything wrong. Then when I’d try and move on he’d be all over me and wouldn’t leave me alone. Just an all around, confusing, narcissistic individual who was never going to truly love me.

SakuraBlossoms87 · Answer

He was too passive aggressive. He'd say one thing, mean another. It gets rather tiresome after a while dealing with the emotional baggage of such people.

I mean if someone says X, means Y and you call them out for it, they'll usually admit they mean Y.

With passive aggressive people I've noticed they'll say X, mean Y and when called out for it get defensive and unnecessarily confrontational. It's not a healthy relation.

MiddleAgedClimbee · Answer

Holy cow, is that a long time ago, but she actually ended it. We were at two separate points in our lives with careers, and mine was barely starting, and she was established. I was not at a point financially where marriage was going to be a possibility. That was a few years away. It was in amicable ending, but nonetheless challenging.

Walt832 · Answer

Her parents telling her to set a time line as to marry her in three years, barely on the 4th month dating 😂 I mean we have nail it but hell that was enough for me to leave. Na man don't ever place a time line to a man because instead propose with his heart. Now it will feels like obligated or forced, barely on 4 months 😂.

Anonymous · Answer

The guy technically broke up with me and I cut contact with him. It was a situation-ship. I wasn’t his type physically and he basically kept me around until he found someone he liked better. I liked that I was able to meet and interact with people I wouldn’t have otherwise and kept spending time with him for that reason as I didn’t really put a lot of merit into us actually working for obvious reasons tbh. He insulted my weight (he also wasn’t skinny) and I ended up going to the gym with my now boyfriend. Whenever he ended it with me I took it really well and just asked for space so that we could both move past it. Was fine for a couple of days then he got really angry and started messaging me like I broke up with him. I don’t think he liked that I just accepted it. Blocked him soon afterwards

rachel776 · Answer

away too much and he didn't want to wait around, which i told him before we even got together my current boyfriend travels as much as i do and so don't bother each other with how much we're away

Miristheiss · Answer

That was years ago but we just weren't compatible. We got along good early on but more and more issues started popping up where we just saw life differently and we were fighting more and more and we just realized that although we loved each other and had a lot of qualities we appreciated in the other overall we just weren't a good fit long term.

love_conquers_lust · Answer

Saw video footage of her dress as a slutty school girl at some party she attended without my knowledge. My heart sank , anger set in, and I couldn’t bring my self to really kiss her anymore as I’d suspected she fucked her ex or something. At first, she was confused by my disengagement, trying to kiss unresponsive lips. Communication broke down. Prior to that, I had encouraged her to make out with another girl in my car. So, she cheated, we both allowed it. We both got what we deserved.

Billlewis · Answer

She and her boyfriend moved out of state due to her job.

exitseven · Answer

It was a long distance relationship. She did not put very much effort into it. I just decided that I deserved better and that being married to somebody that did not put much of a priority into our relationship would eventually suck.

FellowTraveler · Answer

My last relationship was ended by her. She said we did nothing wrong and had a great vacation. She touted that we are two separate people who put their energies into different parts of a relationship, and the energy from me was going into 'parts' of a relationship she did not respond too. I'm still baffled!

Anonymous · Answer

It was convenience for her. She didn't love me, I'm not even sure she liked me. One day I woke up to this reality and found my self respect. Didn't stop her from stalking me for the next 2 years. She was all kinds of toxic.

It's amazing what hormones in our brains will do to us. But I don't regret it because she taught me what to lookout for and avoid in the future.

SolitarySolace · Answer

She cheated like the other women I’ve been with. And blamed me because I wouldn’t have sex with her. Now I prefer to stay single. Fuck women, they’re all assholes

smilelots · Answer

my gfs mom past away so she moved out to BC to look after her dad that was in his 80s, we chatted for a while but she is not coming back and im not moving out there. the one before that was my wife and she was not interested in any intimacy or the kids we had so she left , later I found out she was shacked up with a woman lol not a guy. Did I not see that coming at all.. smiles

Sweetsurprize · Answer

I didn't end it, he did. He wants someone perfect and he's a Papa's boy/Mama's boy.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

She could not get past an argument we had and I couldn't keep reliving it once a month. We both said somethings we shouldn't have, but I thought we worked through it, apologized to each other and were on the same page going forward.

Nikki1989 · Answer

He couldn't hold a conversation. It drove me crazy.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

I caught her lying to me, stealing from me and cheating on me!

Andres77 · Answer

Cheating and opening credit cards and running us into debt.

muscles_glasses · Answer

I dont know she dumped me via text message she was leaving to go to university and eventually decided to make the move permanent I've been dumped several times and honestly I have no clue

JosyJosy · Answer

Guy was going to cheat, and I fell out of love with the second guy.

Dnice1 · Answer

Long distance and a few other reasons... He was the best I've ever had thus far in life

ArrowheadSW · Answer

It ended due to the distance, and conflicting job schedules. We "clicked" very well but over time the relationship declined.

AnusNdaPainus · Answer

She didn’t like me as much as I liked her  so I ghosted her and even if she did like me I have abandonment issues I can’t be with someone who is not direct or clear about their intentions

msc545 · Answer

A particularly disturbing personality disorder. Hers, not mine.

Mark987 · Answer

Too busy to have a relationship.. but we're still good friends

artgorgeous · Answer

Her child she never told about and I figured about it myself.

serious · Answer

Never had any relationship before. I have always been single.

scooogy · Answer

She was just looking for hookups, letting me know that I was too petite for her taste, while se was way bigger than I expected. The one before her was seriously too lazely to get a job.

shades777 · Answer

she got full of herself and im not one to take an attitude especially if its undeserved plus she started getting fussy so i said to hell with this hoe and dropped her ass

OddBeMe · Answer

Usually she stupidly got preggers and I moved across the state,

Anonymous · Answer

Him ignoring me like some entitled punk. 😑 And not giving me sex

Anonymous · Answer

Cancer I miss her everyday

LiamJHayden · Answer

She was great but we just did not click on a romance level.

Anonymous · Answer

her cheating and emotional and mental abuse

bowenw · Answer

Too much fighting.

Mansearching · Answer

She cheated so I walked out

Redstang88 · Answer

I didn’t. Never been the one to end it

TrueConfection · Answer

He wasn't ready to get married and I was.

SeaStorm1 · Answer

End because being toxic and blaming trust issue

Thumper2thump · Answer

His lack of personal growth

elizamichale1 · Answer

His jealousy n constant fighting

ScisorsAndRaisins · Answer

Christianity.

no_feet_pics · Answer

Her selfishness and pathological lying.

cnj421 · Answer

He cheated and lied.

Jkgordon · Answer

Concoct of interest

eagle1951 · Answer

she died

Luckycharms12 · Answer

She wanted kids at the time I didn't

LavLavLuv · Answer

He cheated 🤷‍♀️

In_Trance · Answer

Mismatched values

dudeinohio · Answer

She dumped me

LemiaOfThunder · Answer

being ghosted

Sinmaster · Answer

I wanted... wait for it... a kayak!!

MaxUsefull · Answer

betrayal

Anonymous · Answer

Crazy bitch.

Twalli · Answer

She didn't exist

What caused you to end your previous relationship?

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