How to stop feeling lonely?

[Anonymous]

I'm single. I don't have anyone special. I tend to have feeling for my guy friends... but they never have feeling for me and they are single as well. Many female friends calling me pretty. Some guys made a move on me, but it was only for benefits. I don't want to be their side chick. I want a lover. I'm getting older. I'm getting scared for being single. why.. I'm being treated like this. I feel like I'm losing my mind. Help...

[Anonymous]

You are too deeply focused on being with a man and need to focus on being happy on your own. I think a relationship will find you when the time is right, but in the meantime you should work on becoming happy, less lonely, and content as a single person by embracing this stage in your life. Otherwise you will become codependent of your partner to be your source of happiness and fulfillment. Not only that, but because you want a relationship so badly I believe you would sacrifice your identity to conform to his needs all for the sake of “keeping a good man”, which is the last thing you want. So try focusing on gaining a better sense of self, along with the other things I mentioned. There’s no rush to get into a relationship just because you’re getting older.

[Asker]

I think you're not single right now. You have no idea how hurt I feel right now.

[Opinion Owner]

Right now I’m not single, but I didn’t enter this relationship until I turned 30 (I’m 31 now) and prior to this I was single since 23, so I definitely get those feelings you’re having. I had the same loneliness, worries of being single forever or my eggs drying up and all that, but I didn’t find this guy until I became comfortable being a single person, which was 29, and he found me. It took a long time to get there but I was sick of waiting for a man to make milestones and memories with, or to feel adamantly happy.

[Anonymous]

Get out and find ways to meet people, and don't spend too much time alone.