Is it unattractive to be a guy on his thirties and never had a second date?

[Anonymous]

Not by choice, and not by lack of trying

Yes

No

[SteveSmith1985]

It's not ideal. But only because it carries with it certain implications (that you have been trying and are too sketchy for anyone to want to see a second time).

So while the answer to your question might be "yes." That's only when you frame yourself that way. Knowing nothing else about you, that information by itself will make you appear less attractive.

But... you absolutely don't have to "frame yourself" that way. Like don't "identify" yourself as "a dude who's 30 and never had a second date."

I'm not saying to lie, or to hide that fact. What I'm saying is, once a girl talks to you a bit, and gets some OTHER impression of you (maybe you're the super-sweet guy who makes her laugh).

Once she has you "framed" as something OTHER than "a 30 year old who's never had a second date"... that information all of a sudden becomes pretty much meaningless/irrelevant.

She will be unable to make the same assumptions about you upon finding that out. Because she now knows more about you. You are something OTHER (and something more) than that simple single factoid about you. Plus, you'll have an opportunity to explain that you weren't trying (which changes things too).

So, yes, this is unattractive. But whether or not it's any sort of stumbling block for you depends entirely on how you choose to handle it. 🙂

[Guy13]

I would not bring it up but eventually the question about long-term relationships will rear its head.

[Stressyalaire]

Don't bring it up is all I can say. If you never had a second date and have dated many times, there has to be Something wrong.

[Cassie88]

I wouldn't necessarily say that it was "unattractive", but it definitely sets off some very loud alarm bells.

[OlderAndWiser]

Why hasn't it happened?

[Anonymous]

Women are not good litmus tests for a mans true value, only perceived value. The fact is, you can be given a script to follow. Do what it says and you get a second date, relationship, or intimacy. Thus what then is the true measure of a mans worth?

[Anonymous]

Keep working at it dude, work on your appearance, style, and manners.

Also be less and less picky, remember the older your partners get the shorter the list of good reasons for her still being single.
So favor the demographics of women most likely to have good reasons such as not being the most attractive.

Otherwise your just setting yourself up for failure just like every other man who dated said woman.

[Ligerzzero]

Just don’t bring it up, if girls find out you only been on first dates they won’t even give you a first date let alone a second.

[virtual_girl]

One of the key factors to how attractive a man is to a woman is how much other women want him

[Anonymous]

That's the kind of thing you keep to yourself. It's not like you were promiscuous and lying or lying about criminal past. Not dating isn't anything bad.

[Nikki1989]

Well, it all depends on how he handles it and what he is doing about it.

[AydenHazor]

Being a guy in your thirties and never having had a second date isn't unattractive in itself, but there is likely a reason you don't get a second date despite trying

[Heolurt]

It's because I'm extremely ugly that I never got a date in the first place and gave up after all those years and I know it was because of my looks because that's how they'd reject me.

[TacosRAwesome]

He's doing something off putting that's for sure.

[Anonymous]

Just don't tell anyone and we will never know and then you'll get a second date.

[Tomisworthless]

Well I’m almost 30 and I’ve never even been on a date let alone hugged or kissed a girl