Dating with no progress. Caught her with her ex. Is she just killing time with me?

[Anonymous]

I've been seeing this girl for one and a half month. We went on numerous dates, but no progress. One week ago I tried to make a move, and she rejected. She gave me a speech about how a fire that lights up quickly also goes out quickly, and about how good things take time to develop. She assured me that if things go on in the same manner as they did until know, everything will be good. She kept texting me even more the days after that night, wanting to see me everyday, which was quite unusual until then.

The weekend was approaching, and we made plans for Sunday, to go on a day trip. Saturday was very busy for me, and I haven't initiated any texting. In the afternoon, I received a text asking "is everything okay?". I found it cute. She then proceeded saying that her girl-firends are going out, but she doesn't want to go with them, and she'd rather spend time with me. I was at a family dinner, and I had to refuse, but we did confirm our plans for Sunday are up. Sunday moring, surprise. She cancelled on me, saying she is feeling sick. She kept texting me all day, sending me photos with her in bed, with her on the couch in house, like she tried to prove she is not lying. I was concerned about her being sick, but in the evening she suddenly stopped replying.

When we started dating she mentioned she just got out from a long distance relationship, where her ex used to come to town a few days a month to see her. She said she broke up with him because the guy actually had a girlfriend in his hometown. She also said he is moving out of country soon anyways. Unfortunately, a friend working at a hotel in town saw her check in with her ex on Sunday night. So that was the reason for the sudden lack of replies.

Monday afternoon she texted. Tuesday she asked to go out with me. I didn't mention anything about Sunday, I just suggested she is in fact kiling time with me. She said I should be aware many gus want to date her, but she choses me over them.

What should I do now?

[Guy2809]

My brother, move on. As soon as she throws the "I could date other guys" you know she is not worth. She is manipulating you or trying to, and you must not fall for it. Been there, refused to, payed the price of letting go. In my case, it was my girlfriend who threatened me with doing things with another guy, it broke me, but I stood my ground. What you need to understand is that she crossed a line, and if you allow it to stick, she will eventually do something similar to what I went through. It certainly seem suspicious or weird that she sent so many pics of her home and suddenly dissapear for the rest of the evening. About that I'd say, if you doubt her, move on or be willing to constantly feel that way. You can't say for sure of what she was doing, but on the other hand, you would have to be willing to live with that sort of situation constantly. She probably has other suiters and probably feeds her attention need. So, choose what you want, a constant life of uncertainty, or the peace of setting boundries and enforcing them.

[Asker]

I can say for sure what she was doing. I couldn't believe it's true, so my friend sent me a photo of his and her car parked at the hotel at 2AM. Please don't start criticizing my friend regarding the privacy of the hotel customers, you know a friend is a friend, and when you date someone, good friends will tell you if something is off, no matter what the risks are.

Those two are probably having a great time just having sex, and in the meantime she fills the gap by going out and giving hopes to idiots like me.

[Guy2809]

I understand how you may be feeling my brother. Move on. Say what you have to say, and move on. Don't listen to explanations, don't listen to complains, she will envelope you. Stand your ground. You will be ok with time.

[MaazHussain]

It sounds like there are some red flags in this situation, particularly the fact that she cancelled on you last minute and was then seen with her ex. It's possible that she is keeping you around as a backup option while she figures out what she wants with her ex or other guys she's dating.

It's important to communicate with her about your concerns and expectations for the relationship. If you're looking for something serious and exclusive, you should make that clear and see if she is on the same page. If she is not ready or interested in that, it may be best to move on and find someone who is.

It's also important to consider your own feelings and whether or not this relationship is making you happy. If you feel like you're not making progress and you're not satisfied with the way things are going, it may be time to reevaluate whether or not this relationship is worth pursuing.

[BigWhiteWolf87]

She sounds trashy to be honest. Forget that she slept with her ex for a moment.

Saying "I should be aware many gus want to date her, but she choses me over them" isn't a compliment, it's something of an insult. She's basically saying she "settled" with you but trying to make it sound like you're special... and indirectly saying that she can dump you & go with any of these "many guys" whenever she feels like.

Women that are thinking of being involved with a guy seriously would NOT be saying this sort of garbage like she is. It's demeaning to guy that she is being involved with.

She sounds like she was a perfect match for her ex, who was cheating on her and his girlfriend in his hometown.

So unless you want to be involved with some low-grade tramp I'd suggest dumping her.

[Asker]

I didn't spell check what I wrote, I just noticed my horrible spelling. Yeah, it did sound bad. I did also stop giving a damn after the events on Sunday night, so I told her "look, I feel like you are going out with me just to kill some time". That's when she said, "there are many guys who want to go out with me, if I was killing time, I wouldn't be choosing to see you over and over again". It's still trashy as hell, but I thought about it. She knows I was looking for something serious, so she knows she can play me. Other guys are probably only trying to sleep with her, and they wouldn't accept waiting when being told she want to take thing slowly, like I did. So she found the perfect fool to date her over and over again, the perfect fool that actually showed her respect. And yeah, thinking about it, she did try to manipulate me, giving me long deep looks, which she said it meant she's looking at me with love; saying not more than once no other guy treated her like I do, and other stupid lies.

[BigWhiteWolf87]

I'm sorry you had to experience this but some women just don't have much self respect for themselves - obvious by how she KNOWS now that her "ex" was cheating on HER and HIS girlfriend and yet she STILL slept with him on Sunday - and by extension they don't have much respect for others.

Look at it this way, you dodged a bullet as they say.
You learnt this before your relationship became truly serious. Imagine if you had wasted 3, 6 or worst 12 months on this dimwitted woman thinking she was actually being honest.

Hugs

[OlderAndWiser]

You should stop worrying about what she is thinking and simply make a decision based on what is right for you.

[Anonymous]

If she checked in at a hotel with her ex then that’s the end of it. She cheated on you to sleep with her ex. Like you said she sent a bunch of selfies almost like she’s proving something to you or to strongly convince you. Then she goes out and gets a hotel room with her ex? You need to break up with her. Once a cheater always a cheater. I’m sorry this happened to you dude.

[Asker]

yeah, it's just so disapointing. Her wanting to see me four days in a row, after dating once a week for a month, felt as a breakthrough. I was exhilerated. Then Friday we crossed eachother in the same restaurant, she was with a friend, I was already there with a friend. We already had plans to meet later. She gave me a long deep look when she saw me. I sent her a message asking about that look. She replied "i was looking at you with love". Then all the texts wanting to see me again on Saturday night even though we were supposed to spend the entire Sunday together. All to be ruined by her spending Sunday to Monday night with her ex. I can't even understand why, the night before the trip, she confirmed going with me, if 24h later she knew she is going to fuck her ex. I am quite sure I was used as entertainment while her guy is away.

[ShiftingMonke]

Cut ties, my man. She made her decision. I'm sorry you had to find out, but I'm glad you aren't wasting any more time.

[Gent207-2]

LEAVE HER

They cheat? Leave

No second chances NO EXECUSES