Was my girlfriend being a little of line here? Did I do something wrong?

[Anonymous]

I'am a mechanic and last night i got a call from a friend to help this girl out because she broke down somewhere. I was with my girlfriend and she was ok with us going to do a service call. So i arrive and just get to the point and help this girl out. She was wearing a little "revealing" clothing i guess you can say but i was just trying to ask her questions about her car and see whats going on. This girl was very talkative to me and after a bit she asked "whos that in the car waiting". I said "it's my girlfriend" and she said "oh well she keeps giving me weird looks". So i told her just ignore her. So i got her car going but told her what i think was wrong. So we sat in her car and she asked if i can look more into it and i said yes, we exchanged numbers and that was it. when i got in my car i got a earful from my girlfriend lol, i was just explaining her it;s nothing and business pretty much. Idc how good this girl looks.

This morning that same girl sent me a text saying "heeyy, this car is always giving me trouble, thank you so much for helping, when can you come take a better look and fix it?". So my girlfriend seen this text because we were out for breakfast and she told me... you better not do anything or see this girls car. I keep explaing to her that idc about this girl. Then she got mad.

[SteveSmith1985]

No. You didn't do anything wrong. Not at all.

This is your girlfriend reacting inappropriately. Although I think we can all appreciate where she might have been coming from. So, while she is definitely in the wrong here... it's not totally crazy or anything.

So clearly your girlfriend sees this other woman as "a threat" to her relationship. That shit's mostly between the two of them. It's a vibe your girl gets from HER more than a vibe she got from YOU that this girl was a threat.

So, she just went into "irrational jealousy mode." She got angry with you... for no reason. That's why.

So, she was out-of-line. And you'll even be able make her see that (force her to have to admit that).

It's not even complicated. All you need to do, is to wait until she's cooled-down enough to sit down, and have a nice calm chat with you about what happened.

YOU initiate the chat. Tell her YOU want to talk to her about this. YOU take charge of setting the tone vibe of the conversation.

This is YOU complaining TO HER about HER behavior. That's what you're going to discuss.

And all you need to do, is calmly, methodically, and step-by-step talk-through everything. Ask her to explain to you exactly why she is upset with YOU. Ask her what it was she expected you to do differently, and then take a look at how REASONABLE it is for her to have expected whatever she says she wanted you to do.

Does she expect you to never take calls while you're with her? No. that'll be fine.

Does she expect you to not have any attractive customers?

Does she expect you won't be friendly and courteous while working?

Was anything you did wrong or inappropriate? If so, what exactly? Was it actually inappropriate?

Then, you need to ask her about trusting you in general.

Ask her if she expects you to call her for further instructions if your customer happens to be an attractive woman?

Ask her if she realizes that some of your other customers are attractive women?

Ask how she possibly trusts you to go work everyday without her supervision... but she's treating you like you're cheating in front of her own eyes. If she's got a problem with YOUR behavior yesterday. Remind her she would have a problem with your behavior EVERYDAY but that she's just not there to see it.

You did nothing wrong. You can easily force her to have to admit that. Because it's just a fact. There's nothing she can say.

Now, that being said. It IS fair that she expect you not to continue working on this specific woman's car.

Your girl clearly feels threatened by this woman, has a bad feeling about her or whatever. But anyway... don't be a jerk. Just... let this one customer go for the sake of your girlfriends feelings. But DO definitely get her to understand that she was wrong here. She was totally wrong.

And you need to be confident that you'll never have to deal with the same bullshit in some other situation. Get her on the same page that this wasn't justified or alright so she doesn't get any weird ideas about what IS justified or alright.

[Asker]

thank you for your very detailed reply. i will in fact do that and yes i will just say to this girl sorry but can't take this job, i can refer you to someone else. I been with her for 6 years and she gets like this, once i let her cool down, she then understands what happend. I will do just that. She has seen other girls but I don't know maybe she got a bad feeling with this one. She is usually cool and good so i was little shocked with this one. But i will have a real talk with her.

[SteveSmith1985]

Yes, she did find something about this girl in particular offensive. I could see that immidiately. This girl rubbed your girlfriend the wrong way PARTICULARILY.

And you know what? As long as that's not all-the-time it's even OKAY that your girlfriend takes some partricular dislike to some woman for this reason. What's not ok, is to be giving you any shit for it. To be either making up things you did wrong, twisting what you did into being something wrong is what's not OKAY here.

If she had had this feeling about this woman. NOT given you undeserved shit, but asked you to please refer this ONE woman for somebody else to work with... you... probably would have been willing to work with her on that.

And if she's usually cool but sometimes gets like this. Bring that shit into it too. Basically you need to make sure you never end up in this bullshit situation again. That's the overall goal. So if this happens on occasion. Bring up the pattern. Tell her the pattern isn't acceptable. And... most of all, talk with her about how YOU should be handling the situation should she lose her goddamn mind again like this and be totally irrationally pissed off with you? Are... you allowed to just not engage, and say "honey, we are not talking about this until tomorrow" and just silently sit through her screems and bitching? What's the plan if this DOES happen again that doesn't leave you taking the brunt of underserved, irrational unwarranted bullshit? I don't know what. But I'd be looking to make sure that if I DID end up in this same situation again, I would have her agreement---in advance--that I'm not expected to put up with it. There should be SOME plan to make sure you don't.

Good luck man. I hate to see anyone taking shit for no reason. It's not fair. Good luck.

[WaterIsland]

It’s not about right vs wrong here. Your girlfriend felt jealous. You felt like you were doing your job. Both perspectives and feelings are legit.


I think what is necessary tho is to sit down with your girlfriend and ensure you’re on the same page. Set boundaries and limits. She needs to understand that you have a job. And you need to understand her jealousy. Talk about where the line is between work and flirting. Talk about what she views as over the line. You tell her what you view that line is. And come to some understanding or agreement about what that line is.


You just want to do your job. She wants to feel like she’s the only one in your life you have feelings for. Both are perfectly legit. You just have to communicate to ensure you’re on the same page.

[Asker]

I will do just that, for her sake, i will just tell this girl i can refer her to someone and have a talk with my girlfriend. she is usually cool and doesn't care but i guess she got a bad vibe from this girl.

[WaterIsland]

That’s totally fair. I’d sit down with your girlfriend first tho, and talk it through. Then offer that option and ensure she’s good with it. It sounds like a good compromise to me, but it’s not me who got bad vibes. Communication is critical in any relationship and your girlfriend should truly appreciate you sitting down with her and listening to how she feels and working towards making her feel better.

[xCherryKizz]

I don't know about the guys in these comments and why they think your girlfriend is in the fault for being insecure about a potential hussy but here is my opinion...

Firstly why exchange numbers when it's an opposite gender stranger who happens to dress "revealing"? Like is it for business? Why can't she just contact the company if so?

Secondly, i think your girlfriend could use some consolation. Every girl is insecure over getting their man taken away, and she could use some comforting words like "dont worry i'll always love you. You can check my phone if you want, got nothing to hide". Little things like this made my personal relationship better, but it could just be my pov.

In all honesty, if you are faithful it would be best not to keep in contact with her to avoid further misunderstandings...

Just my 2 cents I don't know

[Asker]

Hey, thanks for you input an responce. So i work for a dealership but this was just me, myself through a friend. Kind of liking helping someone on the street type thing. That is the reason we exchanged numbers. On a side note, i seen girls try to hustle or play me when they need there cars fixed and offer "favours" and i always tell them i would rather have you walk away then disrespect your own self, i dont do that shit. I'm not like other mechanics who take these "favours". I have way too much respect and love for my girlfriend and never want to lose her because of this stuff. i been with her for way too long to screw it up.

I did speak to her today. She is usually ok with me doing this, i guess she seen something bad in this girl and i can understand that. She is free to look at my phone, texts, pictutres, etc... she will find 80% about cars anyways lol. Yup i do tell her take my phone and go through it, never had a single thing to hide.

I already messaged this girl and told her i can't look at her car and sent her somewhere else. She got mad at me but oh well. Me and my girlfriend had a good talk today about this situation.

[xCherryKizz]

Aye i'm glad you did that and have a good control of boundaries. May your relationship last long

[HateyouxD]

Nope. If you want your girl forever ditch the slut
You won't miss $100 trust me.
Your house is more expensive than that😉

[Asker]

haha, well i was going to charge her $300 depending on what i think is wrong is what it is. But i mean i could feel this girl was being a little too "friendly".

[HateyouxD]

Yea... I agree fucking slut

[Guy13]

I can see me doing that in the units with all the university students.

You give them you business card so they can make first contact and you are “free to roam about the country”

[Asker]

That's funny because she looked like a student lol

[OlderAndWiser]

This is a sign of what the future would hold for this relationship.

[Phoenix98]

I personally don't think anything you did was wrong, you got a call so you went and did a service call. Your doing your job, taking a look at and fixing her car so long as it's all business for you I don't really see the issue.

[Asker]

yup i told her it's only business, idc about this other girl

[Phoenix98]

Well there you have it.

[exitseven]

You did nothing wrong. Your girlfriend is insecure.