What does it mean when a guy dumps you for your age?

[Anonymous]

So I'm 31 and he was 29.. any ways he dumped me after discovering my age, he actually thought I was 21 and he was so sweet and nice but had a hang up after knowing my real age.

[quaranta]

Being 29 and preferring a 21 years old woman over 31 means he was most likely not serious about wanting a healthy relationship because he binned any chance of compatibility and maturity in favour of a girl from another generation who has possibly no-to-few experiences and may not know what she wants in life yet.
I doubt it's because he was afraid you wanted to settle and have babies, otherwise he would have at least asked what are your plans in the future, or what you are looking for from this dating phase. So I would think he rather wants a woman who is probably easier to manipulate and who can allow more of his mistakes because she doesn't have enough experiences to know when the abusive line is crossed. Or just an ingenuous woman to play and hookup with, getting away without taking his responsibilities.
Or course there could be other peculiar reasons, like he got a traumatic experience with a 31 years old woman, or he strictly believes the man must be always older than the woman for some cultural reasons... Who knows, it's not easy to guess.
But either way it doesn't sound promising... So maybe you actually dodged a bullet here.
Keep dating guys around your age with no problems, I get hit on from any age exactly like in my early 20s, even from much younger guys. This one was a random unfortunate exception, don't let him make you feel insecure now.

[Asker]

I'm looking out to get married but not have kids, is that alright to do?

[quaranta]

Sure, why not, as long as your future partner doesn't want kids as well... All you have to care about is to select a partner with the same vision as yours, or open to adapt.

[Asker]

Thanks this was super helpful.

[NewYorkCity]

A lot of people are a bit rude, but they do have a Solid point, If you are 31 and still have no children it is a HUGE red flag for 90%+ guys. When a women are 30+ she is on a clock that is running out real fast and most guys know that. What were you doing for the past 7 years? how come you didn't settle down and had your first kid 7 years ago? (18 should of been when you finished high school, also high school should of given you plenty of time to mess around if you are such a type of girl and 22 should of been when you should of graduated college with respectable degree and again an extra 4 years in college should of giving you more than enough time to mess around and find a potential husband. Having children at 30+ is dangerous and a whole lot riskier to have birth defects, or miscarriage and most guys won't take those type of chances. Plus, taking care of a baby from 0-10 years old is MUCH more difficult and a whole lot more energy consuming at 30+ than at 23. Biological and natural facts and again most guys know that.

[Asker]

I don't want kids and don't care about biological clock.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

It means he's selective and age is a deal-breaker for him.

I'd like to say he's been an assh*le for dumping you like that, but I admit I did the same thing in reverse - I thought she was 25, and instead she was just 20.

I was 22 at the time, no way I was dating someone so young.

Anyhow, my advice would be to move on from the guy and find someone who actually deserves you.

[Guy13]

It means he has no time to marry and have children. Date to marriage is 34 for you and that baby window closed.

[Asker]

Well he stated that he wanted kids but I don't and I didn't tell him that though. And there is a baby window?

[rosemilk]

asker, the baby window is by no means "closed at age 34" lmao do not listen to this guy.

[Asker]

@rosemilk got it and thanks!

[UncleBilll]

They want younger girls, not cougars. I try to date more than half my age.

[In_Trance]

wtf are you even doing?

[Asker]

What you mean?