What the difference from asking someone out vs Harassment?

[Anonymous]

what the difference from asking someone out vs Harassment? Like I try to chat with girls on https://www.okcupid.com/ and I got band for harassment I think. I was just trying to ask the women about there profile and I want to see if they want to do any thing like go out with me or something. I know one girl got mad and I don't know how I broke the rules on there bit I did.

I just try to ask her thing about her profile.

I get reject a lot and I am trying to meet people online cause I not good at chat with people in real life. I try to chat with girl that the site call a match.

I am not good at the line between to much. I just want someone to like me and I do not want upset any one. I not sure why I do this stuff? what wrong with me? I not had much luck on website or anything any way.

[Anonymous]

Asking someone out involves expressing your interest in spending time with another person in a romantic or social context. It is typically a respectful and consensual interaction, where both parties are free to accept or decline the invitation without fear of coercion, intimidation, or manipulation.

Harassment, on the other hand, involves behavior that is unwanted, unwelcome, or offensive, and can cause discomfort, distress, or harm to the other person. It can take many forms, including verbal, physical, or online behavior, and can be directed towards someone based on their gender, race, sexual orientation, or other characteristics.

The key difference between asking someone out and harassment is the presence or absence of consent and respect. If the other person is receptive and willing to engage in the interaction, and if both parties are treating each other with respect and consideration, it is likely a consensual and positive interaction.

However, if the other person is not interested or feels uncomfortable with the interaction, or if the person asking is using coercion, manipulation, or intimidation tactics to try to change their mind, it can be considered harassment.

It's important to always prioritize consent and respect in all of your interactions with others, and to be mindful of the other person's feelings and boundaries. If you are unsure about whether your behavior is appropriate, it may be helpful to seek the guidance of a trusted friend or professional counselor, who can provide support and guidance in navigating these dynamics.

and

It's understandable that you may feel frustrated and confused by your experiences on online dating websites, and it's important to reflect on your behavior and to try to learn from your mistakes.

Harassment can take many forms, including repeatedly messaging someone who has indicated that they are not interested, making inappropriate comments or requests, or using manipulative or coercive tactics to try to change someone's mind.

It's important to respect other people's boundaries and to be mindful of their feelings and comfort levels. If someone is not interested in talking or meeting with you, it's important to respect their decision and to move on.

It may be helpful to seek the guidance of a trusted friend, counselor, or therapist, who can provide support and guidance in navigating social interactions and building healthy relationships.

Remember that healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, communication, and consent, and that it is important to prioritize these values in all of your interactions with others.

[Anonymous]

They do not tolerate hateful, hurtful, or harassing content on OkCupid. They consider unsolicited sexual content and messages to be sexual harassment. If they find you to be in violation of the Community Guidelines and/or their Terms of Service they will ban your account.

[SpanishRose]

How exactly were you talking to them? Or how did you ask them out? What type of things are you saying? All of that information will be useful to give you the proper advice...

If you come on to strong it will creep most (not all) women out, if you come on to soft then most (not all) will find you boring. You need to find a in-between to help you get over the initial meeting. Get them engaged in a nice conversation. Try simple things at first then slowly get into more details.

Wish you the best. Good luck 👍

[SpanishRose]

Thank you for mho ❤

[Asker]

your welcome

[AdithyaR]

Okay a lot of incels and bitter guys will tell you the difference is whether they're attracted to you or not but that's just nonsense.
Its purely based on the situation and how you approach.
First thing, read the room. For example, approaching someone reading in a library or working out at a gym is a bad idea cause they're at the place to get some work done. Try out places that oriented towards social interaction, clubs, parties, activity classes and so on.

Secondly body language and vibe. You have present yourself as non threatening and open. Don't push physical boundaries and keep it chill. Be conversational and don't just directly jump to asking for their number or something, build some rapport with casual talk. During the casual talk, guage the body language and type of responses from her to know whether she's interested in a conversation or not. Also if generally helps to not put them on the spot and instead give them the freedom of choice. Instead of asking for her number or social media handle, give her yours and that gives her the choice of reaching out if she's interested.
Also keep it light, make small talk and if she's interested in talking and you've managed to exchange numbers or something, you can say your goodbye and go about your day. That shows that you're not needy.
On the contrary, if she's closed off while trying to talk or actually rejects you, don't react badly. Its not a personal attack. Simply say, sorry to bother or thank you for your time. Or you can even just I understand, have a nice day and move on with your life. Taking a rejection gracefully is one of the most mature habits you can display.

So yeah being polite, non threatening and mature makes it asking out. Being overbearing, creepy and aggressive makes it harrassment. Hope this helps. Good luck.

[DarkLegacy]

The incels are right

[AdithyaR]

Lol sure buddy 🤪

[Anonymous]

You have to give girls an opening, then allow them to take the lead.
They say they want a man to lead, but that's horseshit. That only applies in the bedroom.

Don't just bombard them with a bunch of questions.
Start the topic of conversation and engage in active listening.

Say you ask what she likes to do, and she says horseback riding (speaking of horseshit)

Instead of saying, "That's cool. What else do you like to do?"

"Where do you live?"
"Where did go to school?" Blah blah blah

Just say, "Damn, that's awesome. I've always wanted to learn to ride a horse. They're so cool!"
(Then let her go on about horses for the next half hour lol)


I don't know if this applies to harassment per se, but it's always a good thing to know when talking to girls. It's not an interview, it's a conversation and it's about her (with a little bit of you)

[KrakenAttackin]

If she finds you attractive it's fine to ask her out. If she thinks you are unattractive it is harassment. Keep in mind that women believe 80+% of men are "below average" in attractiveness, which is statistically impossible. This just exemplifies the delusion of modern women.

[inhua]

the difference is if they find you attractive or not. when they find you unattractive this is called harassment. the morality of the behavior is subjective but it's not reciprocated because you aren't found to be attractive by them.

[Anonymous]

If a media influence 'attractive' guy asks a woman out it is called asking them out. if a media influenced 'unattractive' guy or a guy with Autism and learning difficulties asks a woman out then it is harassment and creepy, weird. Modern women mentality right there

[genericname85]

i would say the persisting after understanding that they don't want to go out with you makes "asking someone out" "harrassment".

[Quackthulu2]

If you don't know the difference you shouldn't be allowed to date anyone.

[DarkLegacy]

Why because the feminists says so. Nope women accuse men for harassment if they don't fit the media ideology of attractive or if the guy has Autism and learning disabilities.

[Anonymous]

This.

[DarkLegacy]

My thoughts exactly

[Anonymous]

If they're attracted to you it's ok, if they're not, then it's harassment.

[Anonymous]

The difference is whether she likes you or not.

if you ask and she doesn’t like you… it’s harassment. But if she likes you, you can literally grope her and it will be “cute flirting”

[Lakeshow12]

You only ask a girl out once if she gave you a NO and you continue to ask her again then it’s considered harassment

[Anonymous]

If the girls are on OKCupid they can't complain about getting messages. But you're wasting your time with those bitches anyway.

[JamesRandiDebates]

The difference is whether or not the female thinks you are worthy of asking her out.

[JesseJayNeak]

Asking out when you’re attractive. Harassment when you’re not

[Charlesbrandonf]

If the girl thinks harassing then it’s harassment

[DarkLegacy]

No it is not

[boobliker]

A VERY fine line.

[In_Trance]

you ask her out once. That's it

[Heterosketero]

About 8+