Would a older woman see me as being too young at 30 ?

[Anonymous]

Hi there, Iv always loved an older woman I’m now 30 years old would older woman see me as a juvenile?

[Anonymous]

Is this the same woman who used to do your hair and wouldn’t date you because of the age gap? If so, I don't know what else we can say about this. All you can do is go visit her and ask her out. If she agrees to the date and it goes well, confess your feelings. But if you can’t bring yourself to do that then you have to stop talking about this because we can’t make you become brave.

[Asker]

Well just in general really I have been thinking about something but what worries me the most is being a pain I don’t want to be a bother

[Opinion Owner]

Rejection is scary, but if that happens then at least you’d have your answer and can move on with your life. If I’m not mistaken you said you’ve had these feelings for years now so clearly they aren’t going anywhere, which to me says this is a risk worth taking.

[Asker]

Yes it is very scary and very upsetting to the point is that I don’t know what she thinks but she doesn’t know how much I love her and I can’t get over her for 10 years now ! It was just after my 21st birthday that all my feelings started yes the risk is worth taking just wondering how do confesson letters go with women?

[Opinion Owner]

If you want her to see you as a man then don’t do a childish thing like send a letter. Be brave and tell her in person. I think you’re afraid of her response since you’ve loved her so long and by not telling her then in your mind you still have a chance. After 10 years though dude you need to stop that and man up. If she isn’t interested, then you can finally move on with your life, find a nice woman, get married have kids, have a real life. You shouldn’t waste another 10 years desiring this woman, it isn’t healthy.

[Asker]

I am afraid of her response and your right because Iv loved her for 10 years and not by telling her I so hope I am in with a chance

[Opinion Owner]

Well you certainly won’t get that chance if she were to be with another man, I think that it would hurt you more than being rejected. I think you should go visit, maybe tell her you’d like to invite her out for dinner or coffee or something just as a thank you for inspiring you to go to school and get your license. If she says yes then take her someplace nice. If the moment comes then tell her why you actually asked her out. However if she turns it down without offering another plan or the reschedule then you will know she’s disinterested and can move on.

[Asker]

That sounds great yes it would absolutely kill me if she was with another man I am unable to cry I haven’t cried in 5 years the last time was when she turned me down and I fell off my chair in my room crying I’d love to thank her for giving me the life changing opportunity I needed by getting my hairdressing license this must be easier than it looks and sounds in my head

[Opinion Owner]

I think it sounds difficult in your mind because you’ve spent more time talking yourself out of it than convincing yourself you can do it. Since she’s already said no once you worry it will happen again, and for all you know it could. But that was a long time ago, mindsets change and she may see you differently now. You’ll never know unless you ask, though.

[Asker]

Yes it does sound difficult in my mind Iv spent many days and nights taking my self out of it but I can’t I find her so very unique and yes your right due to her saying no in the past that’s what worries me I hope she see me differently now we have a connection I hope she knows that?

[Opinion Owner]

You’ve said you haven’t seen her in a long time right? If so then there’s no way to know what she thinks of you.

[Asker]

Yes not since 2018

[Opinion Owner]

That’s a long time, so who knows what her thoughts are but I think you know we can’t tell you with validity since we aren’t in her head. Maybe you should go into this with a different mindset. It’s not like you’re gonna barge into her salon and profess your love. All you’re doing is thank her for the inspiration and inviting her out for a drink or something. I think that will be easier on you as well.

[Asker]

Yes it is I was 25 back then now I’m officially 30 years old if only we could see what she thinks oh no it’s not like I’m going to confess my love to her I really appreciate you advice I see what I can do I try to change my mindset first

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, stop telling yourself that this is the big moment where you confess your love, because then you will never make a move and waste more time obsessing. Just tell yourself it’s a simple thing, you are thanking her and inviting her for a drink or food as friends and that’s it. Worry about the confession when you are actually in the right moment.

[Asker]

The mind is sadly to powerful it’s a very big moment like we say it’s easier than we think I don’t want to waste any more time I always fear that she say no to it

[Opinion Owner]

Well if she says no then you can finally move on. Yes it’s scary to make a move but you’ve already wasted so much time, do you really want to look back 5 years from now knowing you did nothing? I think that’s scarier.

[Asker]

Well yes if she says no then that’s would be it. It’s really scary to make a move I know Iv wasted so much time no I don’t want to waste another 5 years that would be even worse !

[Opinion Owner]

Ask yourself this, if she were just some woman and you didn’t have feelings at all, do you think you’d be able to invite her out? If the answer is yes then what makes this so different? She could be anyone and still deserves a casual thank you for how she’s impacted your life.

[Asker]

Oh yes most definitely I could that’s a interesting way to look at this it’s because I do have strong feelings for her and she knows that I have a crush on her and the past haunts me yes your right a casual conversation would be wonderful and how she has impacted my life

[Opinion Owner]

Yep! A few years ago when I wanted to approach a guy I liked my friend told me the same thing, and it helped so much. You just have to put your feelings aside when you talk to her and tell yourself the truth, which is that you are simply thanking a friend and would like to buy her a drink or something for being such an influence in your life.

[Asker]

Hi there, it is so hard when you have such strong feelings for someone did you find them unique? I find that this lady is very unique she has the perfect figure in my eyes I must be thankful that I am not 18 I am 30 years old how did you do this? Did you call him?

[Opinion Owner]

It’s definitely hard! I’m naturally very shy so it took a lot of pep talking myself but then I told him. Turned out he was surprised I liked him because he liked me too he just didn’t think I’d be interested so he didn’t make a move first. We dated for a little while and ultimately didn’t work but yeah. It’s worth a shot dude because you can’t keep on doing this.

[Asker]

Yeah it is really hard ! I have been thinking about something wow that’s amazing well done for doing it ! Sorry to hear that it didn’t work out but you did it I appreciate your help it’s been really nice hearing from you when my hairdresser use to do my hair we both got on so well and have a connection do you think she knows that?