Guy I’m dating goes online and doesn’t reply?

[Anonymous]

We’ve been on 3 dates. And we’ve kissed. A lot. We haven’t gotten to know each other well enough but I guess we have chemistry. Anyways, on WhatsApp he takes minimum 30 minutes to reply. Sometimes he goes online and doesn’t read my message. And sometimes he reads my message and leave me on read for over an hour. It makes me super anxious and frustrated. Is he playing with me?

I’m 24 he’s 31

Updates

+1 y

But sometimes he sends me texts saying he wishes I was on top of him kissing him again. Is this guy just looking to make out and try to hook up with me?

Updates

+1 y

And he likes asking for pictures

[SteveSmith1985]

No he's not playing with you. At least he's not doing this on purpose or in a calculated way. That's for sure.

Does it indicate the lack of interest/priority etc. That you worry it might indicate? Maybe. But certainly not necessarily.

In other words; he really doesn't realize that he is giving you the kind of anxiety and frustration that you're experiencing. He... just doesn't realize it.

So he's really not intending to send you any signal of disinterest. Whether you want to look at it as: "well even if he's not intending to send a signal, shouldn't he be more eager to talk to me?" Is a valid point. But... it depends on everybody's expectations.

If you've been on 3 dates, and it's been mostly making-out, and very little of the getting to know each other part... I can kinda see where he's thinking he has more time than he really does to reply to you without upsetting you or making you worry.

Oh and I'm specifically talking about leaving you on read or going online and not reading your messages. The 30 minutes thing... that's unreasonable for you to expect. Period.

I think what you need to do, is to talk to him about this. Like I said, he is unaware he is making you feel this way. I would think the odds are pretty good that he would change some of this behavior if he knew the effect it was having on you.

It also gives you a pretty clear chance to make sure that he is indeed looking for the same sort of relationship (or dating experience or whatever it is you want out of this). But you make sure that you're both on the same page. You get to actually check to see whether he thinks this is more casual than what you're looking for. But you need to bring this up to him.

What you're asking for isn't unreasonable FOR A GIRL YOU"RE SEEING IN A SERIOUS WAY AND ARE GOING TO BECOME EXCLUSIVE WITH VERY SOON.

So your demand, is very much a "boyfriend" type of demand. You're saying: "hey... I don't think it's unfair for me to expect to be more of a priority for you." (make sure that's in fact true. Because if you've been on 3 dates, and haven't talked about both of you looking for something serious and long-term... this may NOT be true).

Let him know that you find it upsetting and frustrating when he leaves you on read, or when he's online but doesn't bother checking your messages.

So it depends really, on the nature of the relationship you two have; and the nature of the relationship each of you hopes this might grow to become.

He is not playing with you. Just make sure you're not making a demand that is inappropriate for the level of commitment you can reasonably expect after 3 dates (and I don't know what that is. It depends on what's been said between you two)

[Guy13]

You are simply too much with your pursuit. I am sure you have never ending texts and that is way too much. Call for a change. you keep texting like a book and Ghost is around the corner. You are ALREADY READ...

[Asker]

He said he would never ghost me. He asked me out again what does that mean?

[quaranta]

If you're looking for a bond and a possible relationship but he is not putting effort in wanting to join your life and getting to know you better, opening to you with vulnerability etc, then you're not on the same wave. If you try to have a closer bond but he responds with sexual/physical stuff (you on top of him, asking pictures) it's pretty clear what both of you are looking for and investing in. Or at least you are going at 2 different paces for sure.
You could ask him if he is looking for a relationship or for casual dating, for example. Since you had intimacy together you have totally the right to make sure you are on the same wave from now on, and to pull away if you aren't.
If you're romantically attached, don't invest in sex to get a chance to make him "interested", this is a mistake many women do, while getting even more romantically attached instead after that, and obtaining no result anyway from the guy, making you confused and addicted to get crumbles back after investing more.
Just never respond with "more" when you receive "less". If he keeps you hanging for 30 minutes and it's not okay for you, don't be available so much either, don't spend your mental energies overthinking about him, but just search that attention in other guys. Most likely he is seeing other women anyway until he is not committed to any of them, or at least talking with them, to keep his options open, especially if you met him through a dating app. So you should keep your options open the same, to find your best option among that. Don't be exclusive to someone who didn't sign the deal and who is potentially not exclusive to you either.

[Asker]

He said he’s not rushing into a relationship. He recently left one and the woman turned out to be not so good so I sense he’s finding it difficult to be vulnerable. I hope that with time he can start to feel more at ease with me. He said he’s looking to eventually get married (not necessarily to me) but he’s taking things slow. I’m just worried he’s not telling the truth.. I guess I just have to trust what he says. I don’t plan on having sex with him. And he’s not really sexual just very cuddly and kissy. Should I just go with the flow? I don't know

[Asker]

Thing is I like him. I don’t like the other guys as much. Maybe it’s because I’ve kissed him and haven’t kissed the others?

[quaranta]

If you're able to keep things slow the same (for real, not forced) then you can go with the flow. If you are still impatient and want more than what he gives, it might become unbalanced soon and end up in some ghosting or argument if it continues unbalanced. It's up to you but you have to respect yourself and what you want too. Spending all this frustration is definitely an investment already, which is not repaid so far because he isn't putting all this energy instead.

[Asker]

So do you suggest I let him go?

[quaranta]

Before that you could at least have a talk with him to understand what the perspectives are, and then you have to take a decision... The answer is between you two, from here we can only give the tools to let you understand the situation better but the decision is yours.

[mathew1543]

He's playing with you. Remember him out of your life ASAP

[Asker]

Are you sure?

[mathew1543]

Of course I am. He just wants sex and playing

[Asker]

How can you tell?

[mathew1543]

Read your post again

[In_Trance]

Stay off each other's social media. You're going to fuck things up.
If you wanna talk, call him

[BarryLiverstone]

That’s his pattern and what he’s used to. It’s not a game. Why do you feel anxious?

[LazerBean]

He's not that into you.

[Anonymous]

Find new guy...

[Asker]

Why do you say that?

[Opinion Owner]

Leave you on read for hour that means you're not his priority

[Asker]

We’ve only been on 3 dates. Should I be his priority?

[Opinion Owner]

Sweetheart you have beautiful heart... use mind you will get your answer

[Asker]

What do you think? Do you think he’s talking to other girls?

[Asker]

Follow me back

[Opinion Owner]

Lol you unfollowed me.
Such a confused cunt you're 😘

[Asker]

You seem like a massive douche bag. I read you answers.. helping women to cheat huh?

[Opinion Owner]

at least I'm honest..
You already get cheated. Who are you?