What does it mean when a guy doesn't want me to talk with other guys?

[Anonymous]

[Ihatethewill]

He's defensive. He could be insecure be of the love he has for you. He doesn't want to run the risk of you cheating or even getting remotely intimate with other guys (not EVERY guy, you should get it)

[AnonGuy9000]

He likes you a lot. Or he is controlling. If it gets abuse leave but I suggest you respect his opinion.

[SteveSmith1985]

That he is controlling and abusive. He doesn't have any idea about healthy boundaries or healthy relationships. What it means is, you should break up with that guy. Immediately.

[ZackBan]

Or he wants exclusivity with his own damn girlfriend and every other snake in the grass waiting for his turn needs to back the hell off and look elsewhere

[SteveSmith1985]

@ZackBan Nah man. I am all about exclusivity. I really am. But he's gotta trust her to do the right thing in telling other guys to back off. Exclusivity is non-negotiable. But it's not going to be secured by trying to keep your girlfriend from coming into contact with guys. The difference between your girl cheating, or being loyal shouldn't come down to "opportunity." If it does come down to "opportunity" than you're dating a cheater, and might as well dump her anyway. A loyal girl is going to be loyal regardless. Plus... women are people too. This is exactly as right and as healthy, as a woman telling her boyfriend he's not allowed to talk to other women. I think we agree on the destination here. Just disagree on how to get there.

[ZackBan]

I think we agree on way more than that.
I would never advocate insecurity or lack of trust in a partner and therfore would never tell my girlfriend who to talk to.

But I won't sit there and be happy about it because men are dogs we know that and even if she can keep them off of her that doesn't mean I want them to get the opportunity to jump.

Plus the time spent with them be spent with me and that's me being selfish but I'm not gonna apologize for it

[SteveSmith1985]

@ZackBan

Indeed, it seems we do actually agree pretty much entirely with each other.

Men are dogs, and I understand not wanting to give them the opportunity to jump. I also think it's fine to bury any motherfucker who is specifically causing you a problem in this regard.

I agree with you 100% on time spent with them isn't time spent with you. That's... not even what I'm advocating here. Unless your old best friend is in town for the weekend or some shit... then it SHOULDN"T ever be a case of you choosing to spend time with some other guy rather than me. That's not ok with me either. Not at all.

I'm more saying... I'm not going to expect you to never speak to your friend again, if he happens to be a guy. I'm not going to get all pissed-off because your boss put you on a team with one woman and 4 dudes for some project. I'm not going to expect you to not speak to your male co-workers like any regular person should be able to.

I'm not in any way saying that a guy should accept anything inapropriate. Like she should be talking to new guys. She shouldn't be engaging in any conversations where she's being hit on. '

But, as you said... you don't have to be happy about all of it. But, if your're being fair and reasonable... it's not right to try and tell your girlfriend who to talk to.

To me... trying to do that, IS controlling and abusive. It's not an appropriate thing to do. A guy who doesn't understand that it's not appropriate also has some other issues with recognizing proper boundaries (like this one). But overall, I think we actually do agree on a whole lot here.

[Asker]

@ZackBan I agree with your thoughts

[AbbyLopez]

I have this issue with my partner. He tells me that he has traumas with cheating, lying, and people dying on him constantly. So he told my I have to follow rules. No talking to men whatsoever unless they are teacher or people I work with but only if it’s necessary. Always listen to what he asks of me the first time because it’s always for my own benefit. And never lie to him. I’m having trouble following these rules because I can’t go to college when I want to because he says it’s moving too fast and I need a break. I can’t cover my coworkers shifts unless he tells me it’s ok. I can’t talk to his friends because he doesn’t trust them and some of them like me. I also can’t have an attitude towards him when I don’t like something, because I often do get attitude for how annoying these rules are to me. But we are engaged, and we live each other. I have a memory issue that I’m being checked for because I constantly forget some rules and this causes constant arguments. Is this normal? Just how men are since they are territorial? How do I get used to these rules in order lessen the arguments?

[Asker]

You should love him more so you can feel it easy to stick to his rules. Often their rules become a burden to someone who doesn't love them the way they want to get loved. You should do that to lessen your arguments with him. This guy who loves me does the same. He doesn't even want me to do a job because he thinks that some guy can manipulate me from there. He is extremely insecure and I don't know how can I manage my life depending completely on him without any job.

[MaazHussain]

If a guy doesn't want you to talk with other guys, it could be a sign of possessiveness or jealousy. He may be feeling insecure about the relationship or worried about competition from other men. However, it's important to remember that this behavior is not healthy or respectful of your autonomy. In a healthy relationship, both partners should trust each other and have open communication about their feelings and concerns. If you feel uncomfortable with his request, it's important to talk to him about it and set boundaries that make you feel safe and respected.

[Finchie40]

Define talk? Just randomly talking to another guy or one on one talk with another guy? Most guys are very territorial over their girlfriends , sometimes to territorial to the point a girl might think he is too insecure and doesn’t trust her , but the truth is your boyfriend probably doesn’t trust the guys you are Talking to , Most guys know what other guys are thinking , why guys and girls really can’t be friends , When a guy is investing a lot of his time into a girl, that’s a sign that he is interested in her and wants to be more than just acquaintances , when a guy barely talks to a girl then he doesn’t really have any interest on her , So if they guy you are talking to talks to you a lot , I can see why your boyfriend might tell you not to talk to other guys

[ZackBan]

I'm struggling with this right now as my girlfriend hangs out alone with a guy friend from time to time and I'm trying not to be controlling but I just wanna rip him apart.

It's instinctive men can't help it we are territorial and becoming a man's territory means having to accept that he won't share you and that other guys WILL try to take you from him

[Miristheiss]

Define "talk"?

Who are you talking to? How much, where at, are you hanging out with them alone, texting them, going places with them? What are we talking about here?

[Asker]

Talk means simply talking and it doesn't come under hanging out, going places with them. But some guys even oppose a simple talk with other guys

[Miristheiss]

Who they are, how you know them, why are you are around them... etc., all of this plays a role in it. Whether this is no big deal or whether a guy feels the need to set some boundaries.
Your scenarios are just way too vague.

[Jdjfjcjj]

To talk or to be friends with? I mean I don't want my girl to be friends with males, but talking unrelistic.

[Asker]

Both

[Jdjfjcjj]

Talking via technology or in person when at work, school, etc?

[Asker]

Via technology

[Jdjfjcjj]

Oh hell no lol. I agree with your boyfriend

[Asker]

But I know them in real life. Do you still agree with his restrictions of not being in contact with them via social media, technology, etc?

[Jdjfjcjj]

No one should restrict you from doing anything. That's controlling and doesn't work. The goal should be for the other to come to this decision on their own which is usually accomplished by guy always presenting himself as the best option for the girlfriend and someone who has other options and won't take unnecessary bs. If a guy does this, most girls I've met would go to the moon and back to not even leave the tinniest of doubt in guys eyes.

[Jdjfjcjj]

Presenting through action, not explaining why she should see him as best (which is counter productive)

[98girl24]

It could be because he’s insecure about something, maybe something happened where he has trust issues. I would talk to the person about it because even if it is insecurity it isn’t healthy. Your supposed to trust the person that you are with. Maybe ask him about it and see if you can talk through it together.

[Anonymous]

Guys know how guys work. From what I heard no guy would be a friend with a gurl unless he wanted to f*** her. I don't believe that as it is possible to just be friends. But I guess there is always potential unlike girls being friends with girls

[Jdjfjcjj]

While it's may not be 100% the case, I can agree personally with this. I'd even go farther and say that unless required, I'm not likely to even going to initiate a conversation with a woman unless I'm attracted to her.

[peedy]

It means he is a control freak or he is insecure and has jealous issues that will only get worse over time,

[spartan55]

It means he's an insecure, jealous control freak. He's also a domestic abuser starter kit. Run the other direction, FAST.

[megabamse]

Like in any way? Might be a huge red flag. As in a flirty way? Well he wants to date you.

[genericname85]

it means that you should leave the guy asap, cause he's too insecure and not ready to have a relationship.

[KrakenAttackin]

If he is your boyfriend he is, correctly, setting boundaries.

[Exterminatore]

It means he doesn’t want to compete with you for those other guys. He’d rather be with them than you.

[Anonymous]

He might have been cheated on previous.
Perhaps it’s something u two can work through with some pro help.

[HowardB]

He’s jealous obviously, im not gonna lie I’m like this with women I like

[In_Trance]

It means he doesn't believe he's good enough for you

[serious]

He gets jealous easily.

[Anonymous]

He is a jealous freak and you need to stay away from him. He is a pathetic loser

[Jazquee]

Red flag

... Run away

[FilmGuy93]

That he is insecure and controlling.

[msc545]

It means he doesn't trust you.

[LovingJo]

That's he's controlling and you need to get rid.

[fonduegirl]

That he's insecure

[VikingWarLord]

he wants you to have his rug-rats

[strlb]

He is jealous and controlling, run for your life!

[Anonymous]

That you're obsessed.

[karekaaaa]

He is jealous