Should women compete for a desired man, or is it a waste of time?

Question

Is it a waste of time, cause the desired man is promiscuous and will never commit.

Tinana · Accepted Answer

WASTE of time I don’t share I don’t have the energy to compete anyone who wants you wouldn’t want you to compete with someone else they’d choose you. And when you do compete for him just know you’re like a second option not his first they’ll always be someone else

TacosRAwesome · Accepted Answer

If the desired man is seeking commitment and she has a whatever in the game, then by all means compete. But if he's simply looking to get laid, don't bother competing.

Avicenna · Answer

In most cases, it would be a waste of time. But you have to judge each set of circumstances separately. I once competed for a young woman who had some qualities that were special to me. I won and had a great time dating her.

Pinay_ako · Answer

I will not waste a second of my life fighting over a man. Hell no

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Promiscuous men sometimes give up the game and settle down.

blueonblack22 · Answer

Women tend to have a very bad psychological quirk that they believe taken men are more attractive then single men when all else equal. It was insane how many other women always just came out of the woodworks when I was in past relationships.

Some of this evolutionary unfortunately. The top males would get multiple female sexual partners given they supposedly have better DNA or something to create stronger babies.

This is also the “scarcity” complex. Women generally believe that hard to get always means the male is higher value. Men can have this problem too but from my observations women are often worse when it comes to being attracted to challenge.

Anyway when you pursue a taken man (or even one who is seemingly “in demand”) here is what you create:

Temptation (and even promiscuity) among for taken men. If you want to swell a man’s ego go after him when he is already taken
Paranoia among gfs and wives about cheating.
Increased frustration and anger for single guys. Just because a man is single (and doesn’t visibly have droves of women chasing him) it doesn’t mean he wouldn’t be an ideal partner. In fact he will more likely respect and value you if given the opportunity
Self sabotaging outcomes for women. If you chase your fantasy and aren’t successful because it was a stupid idea to begin then that’s on you.

There are a lot of things men can change and improve upon when interacting romantically with women. However this is major issue above women need to be more self aware of if they really want a better “gender equal” society.

It takes mental effort but honestly this scenario harms everyone. Women in general definitely could have better self control when it comes to this.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

I guess a girl would have to feel the guy out a little. The other girl may be interested, but he may have no desire or intentions for her, and there is no competition. If the guy appears to be getting-off on having both girls being interested in him, then he is likely a player, and that is when you give him the old-heave-ho!

In regards to desired men being promiscuous, I think that is something else she would have to investigate.

If all girls automatically assume a guy is promiscuous, then they maybe missing out a great guy. I always refer back to: If one assumes, you make an "ass" out of "u" and "me", but mostly you!

JamesDiaz11 · Answer

I wouldn't say it's senseless to compete, but highly desired men have options, and many of these men will exercise them (including many who will do so after committing to the girl).

Truly high value men know that women (plural) are a distraction from their purpose and their success. We enjoy them, of course, but wasting your money and time on women will undermine your success (and even undo it); so, it's not advisable.

But, it's not good for us to be alone, and men enjoy lifelong commitment as much as women do. Highly desired/ high value men will commit, but their standards are high in terms of beauty, respectability (low body count), and support/ peace/ inspiration. If you're an average looking girl you don't really stand much chance except may be a one night stand, or at best a friends with benefits, until he finds the girl he'll settle down with.

nitsuj86 · Answer

Both sexes compete for the other whether they like to think they are or not.

Even a woman getting dressed up and going out it competing in a way. She is trying to look her best so a man she wants approaches her. She is in competition with every other woman in that space.

Men have to compete to even get a woman's attention. I have dated some very beautiful women that felt like they didn't need to do anything to keep me. And guess what, I dumped every single one of them. After the sex, if you aren't doing anything to keep me around, then why would I stay?

I don't think women realize the amount of "WORK" the average man has to put in to keep his woman happy, not complaining, and then they just end up leaving after all that. I say fuck that. Find a woman that works to keep you around, and marry that woman. Cause when the looks fade, your just gonna be left with another child to take care of.

Adaeva · Answer

80% of females are dating 20% of the men. Since most of the women a top 20% guys dates are below his league, he has no reason to commit. Based on your question, I assume you are a foolish girl that dates guys above your league and are disappointed that they don't commit. Of course, guys within you league would commit but you don't want them.

Anemone978 · Answer

I learned I could win over that type of guy but I wasn't happy because I had to change and pretend to be someone I wasn't so really not worth it.
Never chase a man.. if you have to chase they really don't want you.

Jdjfjcjj · Answer

Honestly you fucked if you and fucked if you don't. You can't use logical argument to tell women they going after wrong dude. Won't work.

If they marry young, yea they may have better chance of not getting divorced but many still do and become single mothers.

If you do chase, you likely will fail, waste your time and take on the negative traits you saw in them, then use it on some poor guy who still believes in fairytales.

I don't think much will change with current sociatal state

I'm going the leo decapreo way

Stoner710 · Answer

Yes women should compete to be desirable to a man

Yes men should compete to be desirable to women.

It goes both ways

women who look hot can cook and clean and take care of kids is when men want

a man who is financially stable and can provide for his family is what women want

the hotter the women and she can cook and clean will always out compete the women who are hot but don’t know how to cook and clean

men who make 250,000 a year out competes the man making 100,000 a year.

TenderFantasy · Answer

Compete. They do it all the time! I mean like why not. If you want him, better than giving him up to someone else. World is already very cruel and competitive that way. But lucky for younger folks, they have an edge!

AmeerX · Answer

Mostly the "desired men" is not promiscuous, just not available. And for men there is you are out of my league mentality. Same applies to women too.

Stop thinking you can get a man just because he is the hottest, best looking and so on and so forth.

You want a desired man, woman have some liberty. Multiple woman can partner with same man so I don't really see the problem why they have to compete when they can simply cooperate.

Multiple men can't be with a desired woman, not in a legal way or religious aspect at the same time

annabananna · Answer

No I do not like fresh and fit. I don’t want to lose brain cells listening to them.
I say go for it if you like a guy but if he isn’t as interesting in you as you’d like or makes you feel like you are competing with another girl he is also interested in you should take a step back.

LazerBean · Answer

Wanting a hoe is stupid, and wanting someone who doesn't want you is also stupid.

Honeysuckle12345 · Answer

S**** compete for such people. Decent woman do not have to because they attract men without having to seem like desperate cows

DizzyDesii · Answer

Competing is so “back in the school days”... i wouldn't waste my time now seeing the unlimited options

ArrowheadSW · Answer

I did work in a teaching hospital early on. A lot of doctors in training who were actually nice people and not assholes, and who were reasonable athletic, had women competing for them. So I did see that behavior in that work setting. I guess it isn't for some women, but other women were into the competing game. To each their own.

Vázquez613 · Answer

Women already do that. I mean it doesn't look like it makes them happy since they think all men just want sex. When it's only the guys chase after. But it's what they choose to do and they choose to do that. If they do it they must find some enjoy from it. So I think it is good they do it if they enjoy.

I just want what makes them happy.

Littlejugs99 · Answer

Absolutely if you want to get a good one but remember if he cheats with another to be with you he will cheat on you

Bricealan · Answer

Why would any woman lower herself to 'compete' for a man? I would not/ have not when I was young enough to be that stupid, ever competed with another man that stupid to compete for a woman.

That is laughable.

KarinMcDonald · Answer

I never compete! Life is too short to waste fighting for a man who may or may not want me. I prefer the ones that come with their hat off, and looking to please me!

elizamichale1 · Answer

Yea why not... i mean whoever is willing to do more for him should get him

Redstang88 · Answer

Here’s the thing - women “competing” for a guy is completely pointless. If he wants you he’ll choose you and if he doesn’t there is nothing you can do to change that.
We simply don’t work the same way women do

Berethor · Answer

Why competing? sharing is more feminine, how about an polyamory triad relationship? :)

Ben487 · Answer

Highly desired men have high standards and options. Lots of options. It’s not a waste of time if you can compete in that class but if you’re an average woman you probably shouldn’t waste your time with unrealistic goals. There are a lot of average guys that are going to move on without you if you focus on the elite men. Also the demands on you will be significantly higher with high class men.

genericname85 · Answer

just cause a man is desired doesn't mean he's promiscuous. it's like assuming that someone who's invisible will automatically be a thief. i mean a high quality man will be very picky. so it's very hard to get him. a good looking player is easy to get but i wouldn't call that guy desirable.

RockyHammock · Answer

Look at the lotto. One in a billion chance odds, but if you make it you think you'll be happy for life. Millions of people still buy tickets for that remote chance of happiness, yet only 1 or 2 actually enjoy the payout and most know the odds.

Should people stop? Yes, they expend more time, energy, and resources for a less than 1% chance of it actually going their way.

Will they stop? No, because emotions have a way of overpowering your thinking.

TheFlak38 · Answer

What a tragic irony women thinking it's a waste of time to compete for a man as they are surrounded by MILLIONS of other man who would commit to them. Meanwhile millions of men don't even have to compete for the woman because the chances of getting her are less than the chances of winning the lottery. Game over.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

I mean yes sometimes and no other times.

If a woman comes at me hard I'll pay more attention to her but if I don't jump at being with her, then yes I'll just fool around and not commit or anything. But if she is worth it I'll see and be 100%.

So if you think you're a poor match or have low value, don't bother. Otherwise go for it.

Anonymous · Answer

Completely waste of time. Let the man choose whomever he wants to choose.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Why wouldn't we want women to try for the best man they can get? There's nothing wrong with shooting for the moon.

whtclutgrl · Answer

I've yet to meet a man worth that type of energy. I don't compete, if a gal wants him more than me and he wants her, go for it. Most guys that like this type of attention don't have much of a personality in my experience anyway.

BungusHighFivePizza · Answer

I think competition drives us to become better regardless of what we're competing towards: men, women, trophies, or even just a slice of pizza. It's in training to defeat your competition that we all become better in life.

Haha456 · Answer

competing is usually for immature young girls who still have plenty of time to play around. by the time you get to a certain age, you realize that the right man loves you for who you are rather than a man that you need to fight for.

TheeTrybrid · Answer

I've always been a girl who does not like a guy a lot of girls want. I don't compete 😂😂 they can have him. Because thats boosting their ego and their sense of entitlement. So no I don't think that women should compete

imawfulatusernames · Answer

In my opinion no. A woman should never fight for a man, if he wants you he’ll fight for you in the beginning and if he doesn’t it’s not worth your time.

normalice · Answer

I would say a competition can make a man believe he is that much more desirable. And when believe they are desirable they tend to avoid settling down.

Jangshung · Answer

I'm all about commitment and have been trying to be in a relationship with a woman who wants a great man and can get past my looks. But I hate any form of domestic violence and arguing with a partner. And I am very passionate about making a woman's body work properly and I hope one day I will be with a woman who can see me for the person that I am. But I have no women competing for my affection. I sometimes wish they would though cause I am most definitely worth it.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Waste of time. You never chase and beg someone to be in your life.  If someone desires to be with you then they will try their all to be with you.

Chelsdope0 · Answer

Total waste of time. If he likes you let him come to you.

fralli_gator · Answer

Only if they truly want him. I'd they're doing it for the competition then it is silly

RavVid · Answer

Women do compete. In one funny case I know of, the two girls started arguing. The guy concerned decided he did not like either of them and left them to their argument.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

I don't desire such a guy. But if it's not a guy and someone else wants him too, I'm "competing".

Minahh · Answer

Who should we date then when desired men are promiscuous and not desired men are incels/narcissists with low self-esteem 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Hanrej · Answer

If it feels like a waste of time, then you know you'll likely lose or didn't want him that much after all.

Unit1 · Answer

We live in a time where there is no need to compete. Unless you are in tyrannical regions like India, where you don't get to chose your partner. I'd escape those regions first.

Likes2drive · Answer

Probably a waste of time because there’s too much competition and he’s probably just a player

NostalgiaSenpi · Answer

Shoot for the moon, so even if you fail, you'll land among the stars

UCrayCray · Answer

If I’m not his first choice, you can have him.

Crmolon · Answer

I would say try but don't compete. Doesn't hurt to throw your hat in, but I wouldn't be super actively pursuing him.

WhitneySnow · Answer

I heard most players eventually settle down and get married

melanieeeB · Answer

Waste of time and energy

4ngelic · Answer

its not a waste of time if your in his league

Nikki1989 · Answer

I wouldn't compete for any man.

magiusX26 · Answer

interesting wording. let me ask why you believe promiscuious means will not commit?

rabbitzzz · Answer

I don't know but that's what they do, I mean to some extend men compete for desired women too, so it's even.

Guardian45 · Answer

LOTS of women do it. But I WON'T do the same for women. Attraction is a two-way street. If she's NOT attracted to me WHY would I chase after her?

Heolurt · Answer

You females are already doing this to begin with, you all want the top 1% guys and maybe only 1% of females want the other 98% and there are 1% of guys who won't ever find anyone..

Orion76 · Answer

Don’t bother no, definitely a waste of time and not worth it

Should women compete for a desired man, or is it a waste of time?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Should women compete for a desired man, or is it a waste of time?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.