How could I improve my self esteem?

Question

since i got cheated on with 2 boys that i dated sometimes i start getting self conscious about myself I don't know

Justmeagain1 · Accepted Answer

I believe confidence is an inside job.
The key to confidence no matter the circumstance is to build resilience.
Resilience against external factors eg: other people and their opinions and most of all internal factors eg intrusive thoughts.

Resilience looks different to different people. In this instance building resilience surrounding emotional connections (external) is practicing saying no and not providing a reason, when an intrusive thought pops in follow it up with a positive attribute or thing you like about yourself and affirm inwards about that., not accepting any more then your boundaries allow, setting goals and promising your self like you would promise your loved one to accept you just the way you are right now , learn your triggers - understand them too triggers not react to them and work on them - take the shine off those lumps of coal. Easier said then done - I found trying to show the world you are a good person or attractive etc never works , it leads to disappointment Because you never fully get what you require from others whilst you are relying on someone else to make you happy. So rely on you. You are able to sexually satisfy yourself, you know when it’s time to out on a jumper to keep warm and protected from the weather , you know when you are hungry/tired etc - who fulfills these things for you? .. you I bet!

Work silently on these things that make you off kilter , it will be your biggest flex if you can try not to seek validation from others. I would advise to explore your vulnerabilities and above all understand that imperfect is perfect - we are not all made from the same thing shape or size.
Align yourself with people and places that soothe and feed your soul not take from you all the time. Look into love languages and what that looks like for you.
I am sorry you have been treated this way and that your left with little self esteem and a heap of emotional baggage - keep working on you and bloody work on healing please.

Your inner self depends on you to figure this out. And side note : when a partner cheats it says more about them and less about you. Cheating in a relationship is a sign of self regulation failure. Well done for regulating your emotions - them men can go play with “less”

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Isn’t it funny how these males underneath are telling you to: CHOOSE BETTER.

like there is some kind of Angel walking around? 🤡🤡

When they say “choose better” they mean that you need to “choose him” the one saying it. 🤡🤡

https://www.youtube.com/embed/Ug_yY2I7jrE

Yet those are NON-VIABLE MALES. Undesirables. And you’re not about to reproduce with an undesirable.
Id say “just share” get the guys you like and a do poly relationship. Or do F-W-B.

Attractive Men get hit on constantly. And it’s very difficult for him to stay in one boring relationship because it’s like taking a DR-GG away from an addict. He’s gonna be miserable. Ps. “All Menn” actually want to be sluts and cheaters. So you might as well stay with the BETTER GENETIC, attractive, hot male. Because the Betas, the Undesirables , WANT to be the hot cheater… “anyway “ ”regardless”

In fact, they’re all miserable and they envy. Attractive men and all women. I’m other words “average women” because even average women are sleeping with the VIABLE HEALTHY MALES. And because they are estrogen-infused derelict males, they will not pick a war with the Chads they hate. But they will go for the weaker sex. THEE WOMEN. And pick a war with you 🫵.

Choose the men you’re attracted to and listen to no one. Because YOU🫵 are risking birth not these UNDESIRABLE MALES

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It's understandable to struggle with self-esteem after experiencing infidelity in relationships. Here are some strategies that might help improve your self-esteem:

1. Practice self-care: Take care of yourself physically and emotionally by eating well, getting enough sleep, and engaging in activities that make you feel good. Exercise and other physical activities can also help boost your mood and confidence.

2. Challenge negative self-talk: Pay attention to your thoughts and try to identify negative self-talk. When you catch yourself thinking negatively about yourself, try to reframe the thought in a more positive and constructive way.

3. Surround yourself with positive people: Spend time with people who uplift and support you. Surrounding yourself with people who appreciate and value you can help build your confidence and self-esteem.

4. Set achievable goals: Setting achievable goals and working towards them can help boost your confidence and sense of accomplishment.

5. Seek professional help: If you're struggling with self-esteem, consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor. They can provide you with tools and strategies to help you improve your self-esteem and work through any underlying issues.

Remember that building self-esteem takes time and effort. Be patient and kind to yourself as you work towards building a stronger sense of self-worth and confidence.

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

There's several options here:

a) you are choosing poorly.

b) just some bad luck with immmature boys

c) or some combination of both.

Regarding (a), you are the chooser. Evaluate the character of the boys you are choosing and why you chose them.

Best thing to do is to face these challenges with courage, learn what you can about yourself and others. Learn dating and communications skills. Watch videos on why people cheat, so you understand people. Your generation, is terribly more corrupt than mine... we used to date until we broke up. Now people are lucky to date, seems there is a lot of corrupt people. Consider dating into a different culture where there are traditional values.

There is nothing wrong with you visually. I do think there is some element to "people will run over someone that doesn't have good boundaries". If you are a kind empathetic person, build your internal strength.

That is your question... how. How about doing some research on confidence. Easiest solution is to create sequential goals and achieve them. Positive reinforcement in your mind via self talk/positive affirmations. Journaling positive, ditch friends that are negative for positive ones. Meditate... and find traumas/wounds in your heart/mind and heal them. Heal them by putting the truth into them, with God's love to cure. it works.

Summeroflove · Answer

Sure improving yourself is always a good thing. But remember the right person will love you for who you are.

The same as you’ll love the right person for who they are. Just remember it’s nothing personal not everything is meant to be.

Don’t feel sad when maybe you meet a lot of great guys but they’re not the one for you. Because you have one soulmate in this life. That’s who you should be looking for.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

When nobody tells your important, you tell yourself your important and if you believe it and practice it, others will believe it too and they will treat you accordingly.

MementoMori777 · Answer

The world puts their needs over anyone's feelings, you have to come to the realization that you aren't always gonna be the problem, mostly if you've been nothing but loyal, caring, loving and supportive, the worst thing you can do is blame yourself for something you have no control over, mostly when you put your part in the relationship, even if they leave you for someone that supposedly looks better, they did you a favor by removing scum from you life, your self esteem is low because you are thinking of it in a very simple way, that you are ugly and they left you for that, what if they just can't keep their dick in their pants? Or they like to go to clubs and your company is what stops them from doing so? You gonna blame yourself for that too?

AllSmiles2 · Answer

Cheating isn’t about the person who was cheated on. It’s very difficult to realize that people don’t stray because you lack something. People stray because they lack something. It would be ok for someone to say “hey, I care about you, but I can’t be monogamous.” Anyone who isn’t capable of being honest with themselves and with you just isn’t capable of being a good partner.

I also think it helps to accept that it’s ok that our partners have sexual attractions to other people. Everyone has been in a relationship and had an attraction to someone else. It’s normal and doesn’t mean you’re not enough, but them acting on it without being honest about it and what they want just means they’re a piece of shit.

zeitgeist057 · Answer

Just fyi them cheating isn't about you, it's about them. And I know that's a cliche but it's a saying for a reason and it's bc it's true. Think about it. It doesn't matter who they were with, you or anyone else, they are going to cheat not because of anything about you or whomever, it's because they are going to cheat.

You'll be okay, queen <3 just get your status and your power from within, don't rely on external sources. You are an infinite source.

sheenagwapa · Answer

you are not the one who has the problem but them to this i mean yoy guys are just not compatible

that's what i feel now that constant feelinh of being unwanted that is takunh a toll on me and so if he cannot cut me as an option i am cutting myself as an option. people don't understand me thry just keep judging me and persecuting me i never do anything good, all i do is bad and selfish. I AM JUST DONE please Adam and family let me go. thank you so much for every help yoy give me but i cannot do this anymore. dude it's fine if yoy don't like me but to tag me alonh your wuest is cruel. i do not want you anymore too. i am tired of your persecution i never do anything right so just let me go

Soxee · Answer

This was a long time ago now but I was also cheated on and yes, it hurt a lot.

It will take some time but the hurt will heal. Spending more times with friends and family helped me through the sad times. Now, I'm happily married and I don't ever think about it.

berisky23 · Answer

Go to the gym, do things that make you happy, chat and get to know knew people. All of this can be great for self esteem and remember you are not responsible for other people's wrongs even if it's you they wronged.
I had a look at your how do I look as well and you look beautiful!
Just do you!

invalid1 · Answer

Them cheating on you, doesn't reflect anything wrong about you, but about them instead. Maybe your self-esteem made them feel like implying/affirming your notions about yourself, but not necessarily a correct consensus, you'll find a loyal man 😊❤️

Hulk_kitty · Answer

watch this video.

Rangers · Answer

Quit talking to the guys so high in machiavellianism, maybe slap some shoulders of some shy guys. You'll likely find that they're more likable than you originally thought

Anonymous · Answer

i'd skip dating at your age solely because of how boys act around that age. revisit dating in a few years. getting cheated on is horrible, i can't imagine how that must feel. just know the problem is with them, NOT YOU.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Find someone who actually likes you. Also getting cheated on isn't a measure of self worth. No one who dates a cheater is immune to being cheated on.

LovrUFFAllls · Answer

I have some of the same problems, but for different reasons. Feel free to follow me, and we can chat anytime!

You just have to accept that others will not always value you, and those people are not worth your time. But others can be :)

LivingExample · Answer

The 2 boys cheating on you is Not a Reflection of you, but who they are. Self Esteem is only about believing in yourself. Do some Self Reflection on the boys that cheated on you to try Not to pick those kind of boys again!

noohair · Answer

Men used to have to make a commitment to a woman for sex. That was love and marriage. Women wanted freedom and equality. This is the unintended consequence.

Anonymous · Answer

Raise your standards for what guys you'll date. Make sure that you don't do anything with them until they've been your committed boyfriend and proven their intentions.

riverrat3 · Answer

Realize that it was not you that caused it, they are just going to do that no matter what girl they are with

Anonymous · Answer

Boys that age are just gonna be that way. I would say you should just try not to take it so hard or all that seriously. Its freaking high school.

shades777 · Answer

Thats rough, sorry that happened to you, any particular reason you think that lead to this?

Anonymous · Answer

That really sucks and it is possible you just had bad luck with the two guys. Either there’s something wrong with you about things you can change or things you cannot.

Kidblink1 · Answer

Kick those scrubs to the curb, they don't deserve you.

LazerBean · Answer

Do a better job picking men.

Adaeva · Answer

Stop chasing after hot guys out of your league.

mommymommymommy · Answer

You were dating them at the same time?

JohnK123 · Answer

Do stuff u enjoy doing

Luckycharms12 · Answer

Don't let yourself worth be defined by others

Anonymous · Answer

Choose better next time.

es20490446e · Answer

just choose better.

Anonymous · Answer

Lose weight

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