Do I break up or stay?

[Anonymous]

so iv been dating this guy since a month now and well he is my childhood friend. He told me that he could never fall in love with me cause he doesn't even know what love is and this really hurt me. Do you think its right for me to stay or let go?

Updates

+1 y

well we did end breaking up

[PrettyPriya]

Does anyone really know what love is until they have fallen in love though? I am not talking about love for a child or for your parents. I am talking about love of a partner. Someone you want to spend your life with. Until you experience that, I think anyone can make the claim he is making.

However, it is really apparent that he does not have those feelings for you if he can say that. Either that, or he is making an excuse to get out of the relationship. Honestly, I would be hurt too. That said, you cannot force love.

Without more information, my advice is to let him go. There is no longterm potential if that is what he truly believes. I am only assuming that you are dating him (or anyone else) with the idea that if things get serious, you would take the next steps in the relationship, like marriage.

I think that is where this is a dead end. If he can say that to you, there is no prospect of the relationship going any further. So, if you are happy with just the way things are, then great. If you were looking for more (again, marriage) best to let this one go.

[Asker]

its my first relationship and i didn't think it would come to such an extent that makes me think that he just wants me temporarily until college. i really like him and i dont want to let go. its both of ours first relationship. i want love and he can't or doesn't even want to try and give that so i think its best to let go isn't it

[PrettyPriya]

I get that you like him. You wouldn't be dating otherwise. Sounds like this was a fling for him. I see in other replies you mention he is talking about breaking it off because of uni.

I think he said what he did as an excuse now, which is kinda the feeling I got in the first place. Just a way to get out of the relationship.

[Asker]

he's being so confusing he told me he "never wants to let go and just be in the moment and make what we have of now" and then he's talking of how long distance doesn't work also he said he doesn't do flings which i get seeing that im his first

[PrettyPriya]

Thank you for the MHO 🙂

[Asker]

of course <3

[Anonymous]

Stay. Things may change. He could have went through something traumatic to make him be withdrawn when it comes to love. You have to show him the way by just being there and being patient. Love will come eventually I believe.

[Asker]

okay :) thank you

[Opinion Owner]

You're welcome!

[Ben487]

I don't think you should let go. A childhood friend is a keeper. You both know each other so well. He's just young an he will likely grow out of this phase. I wish I stayed close with my childhood friends. Especially some of the girls that long since moved on. Plus when you go to college there is fewer men than women. Most girls just get pumped and dumped in college chasing the 'golden penis' boys.

[Asker]

he is going to break things off in a year anyway then why stay in the first place is my question? my feelings are going to keep building up and ultimately i might end up loving him and that feeling is not gonna be mutual.

[Ben487]

well if you know he's going to break things off then yeah I guess that's that and you should move on. I would bet that's going to be a disappointment for him later when he see's what the dating world is like after college.

[Asker]

how is it after college?

[Ben487]

Its very shitty for men. I mean until they level up which you can't do easily.

[Asker]

i see. thank you for the help

[OlderAndWiser]

"He told me that. . . he doesn't even know what love is" That MAY be true and, if it is, it is a reflection of his past experiences. It is not a derogatory statement about you.

[Asker]

i know but he can't just be so blunt about not loving me can he

[OlderAndWiser]

What he said was "he could never fall in love with you" You have only been dating for one month and if you expect him to be in love with you now, that is unrealistic. The statement he made was a foolish one to make, and I understand why you are concerned, but it doesn't mean that he won't fall in love with you in the future. At your age, people do not know themselves very well.

[Asker]

I do not expect him to fall in love with me right now at all. But what if he actually sticks to what he said and doesn't while i do over couple months? its going to be extremely hard to move on for me then

[OlderAndWiser]

The statement he made came from his head. If he falls in love, it will come from his heart.

[OlderAndWiser]

Just read some other comments. What is your real age?

[Asker]

yeah i agree thank you

[Asker]

im 17

[OlderAndWiser]

I understand that you hope to date, fall in love, and stay committed to your first partner forever but that is not the experience that most people have.

[Asker]

facts ma'am

[Asker]

that really helped a lot thank you

[Asker]

you think i should stay then?

[OlderAndWiser]

I think you should give it a chance but be careful with your heart.

[Asker]

whats your name

[OlderAndWiser]

I prefer to remain anonymous online but you should feel free to DM me. After I talk to people through DMs for awhile, I usually tell them my name.

[Asker]

i see okay thats cool

[boggboss]

Thats upto you ans what u think is best for yourself

[Asker]

why would someone say they couldnt fall in love with their own girlfriend

[boggboss]

Because they have never been in love so have no concept of what it is or means

[Asker]

what would you have done if someone said this to you

[boggboss]

Would ask my partner to explain more then probably ask what they see in the future and if I'm in it

[boggboss]

Probably explain how I feel and that I want a partner to love and that loves me and if they are not able to provide that then I guess that's it

[Asker]

thank you i got what im looking for

[mb120101]

He isn't dating you towards a future

[mb120101]

Or he's dramatic

[mb120101]

Both are 🚩

[Asker]

yeah he's talking about breaking this off in a year since we both leave for college

[mb120101]

Thats your answer. I personally would get the heartbreak period out of the way before college so you can have a fresh start and meet people

[Asker]

yeah true

[LazerBean]

Leaving