I'm in the talking stages with this girl. I'm not entirely sure if it headed somewhere but it does seem like it. This girl is just simply amazing. I haven't asked her out yet because she had some things she was going through so I didn't want to put more on her plate.
I don't want to hide secrets from her and my friends also know that I've paid for escorts in the past. I worry it might slip out. Some might say this is am excuse but I have a disfigured face due to a birth effect that is pretty apparent and it has caused a lot of self-esteem issues. I didn't build up the confidence or "skill" to not have to pay or to put myself out there.
Regardless of my reasons, I still did it. Again, she is just simply amazing. But I worry that might be a deal breaker for her. However much it would suck, I would understand if she didn't want to date me.
This was back in my early 20s I'm in my late 20s and she is 30 if that matters. I wish I could go back and instill confidence in me. When I saw the first escorts, I had just come off a fling, I started a new Job where guys were joking with guys who were virgins. It was so dumb. I don't want to seem like I'm shaming because that would be hypothetical. I felt like I was going to have a hard time finding someone who would like me.
